Worried about 'what if'

ellekae

Need someone to talk to about this who will understand where I'm coming from...

Backstory item #1: DH and I are planning to adopt a toddler from China, and we have a 20-month-old daughter.

Backstory item #2: My mom and my sister have Multiple Sclerosis.

For the last 4 days, I've had intermittent tingling/buzzing sensations on my torso. I've been ignoring it, but, in the back of my mind, whenever I have any health weirdness, I always start wondering if it's MS, since it's in my immediate family. I mentioned the buzzing feeling, jokingly, to DH, saying that I've probably had my cell phone in my hoodie pocket for too long. He got really quiet and said, "That's not good, babe." He worries about MS for me too. I tried to laugh it off, but now I'm feeling paranoid.

I know that buzzing/tingling feelings are definitely a sign of MS among many other things... so I can go to the doctor, get referred to a neurologist, get my brain scanned... blah blah blah... but if I get diagnosed with almost ANY kind of neurological issue, anxiety, etc., we can kiss our adoption plan goodbye. China doesn't allow any of that in adoptive parents.

Bleh. It's probably nothing. But what if it's not? I feel like I just don't want to know.

Dr.Loretta

Man, that's tough.

On the one hand, since you're so early in the process, now might be a good time to get everything checked out and make sure you're OK. And I'm the type of person who'd want to know and get treatment (for anything) instead of wondering for another 2-3 years (I saw your siggie that you're not starting the process until 2015).

On the other hand, you don't want to close the door on this dream if you do have MS.

I remember in the midst of DIA having lots of what-if thoughts. It was very unsettling.

HUGS and I hope you come to a decision and a good place soon.

DaisyZH

Personally I would get checked out.  If I remember correctly you have a year or so to wait until you meet the age requirement?  I'm sorry if I've got that wrong, I might be mixed up with someone else.  If you have to wait to start the process, and then the amount of time the process takes, that could be a considerable amount of time and I'd hate for you to have an undiagnosed health condition go undiagnosed and treated for that long. 

That being said, I'm not familiar with MS so I don't know if it's a matter of needing treatment to prevent getting worse or not.  I think being so familiar with it through your mom and sister you should be able to make a good judgment call on what would happen if you left this for a few years. 

Remember you have your DD to take care of and down the line another child as well.  You want to make sure you are healthy and as well as possible for them, your DH and yourself.  (( Hugs )) I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I pray that it's nothing.

IRR

You probably know more about MS that I do, but my understanding from a Dr. is that MS is not genetic.  Weird that both your mom and sister have it.  I agree with PP, I would want to know and start treatments ASAP.  I have a couple of friends with MS.  Once is a grad school friend who found out when he was 29.  He has some bad days but overall still plays sports and runs around with his kids and he is now into his early 40's.  It stinks that foreign countries don't want any parents with health issues, yet they are thrilled when AP's adopt their children who have major issues.  It just doesn't seem fair.  Let us know what you decide and in the meantime  keep enjoying your adorable LO.  T & P's are with you. 

Foster1Mom

yikes, that is a hard one. I would have it checked out. I feel delaying having it checked will not change the outcome. Your health should be # 1 since you have a 20 month old and a DH. Could it change your adoption path? Possibly, but you can cross that bridge if it comes. 

I do not know how many Dr's do it but I have asked my Dr. if I can talk to her off the record. I would voice your concern to the Dr. to make sure if it turns out something small it does not get in your file. 

silliestbunny

Are you at higher risk for developing it? Is that even known?
I would take that information into serious consideration. 

I know this probably not what you want to hear but.... 
I am on a chatboard/yahoogroup for cancer survivors (me) who are adopting or have adopted.  I have seen several stories of people that are so close to getting a referral and they develop cancer and their dream of adopting from Country X is down the drain.  These women and men have lost money and dreams... but many go on to adopt but perhaps from a different country or US.

Having dealt w/health issues and scares, I feel your pain/anxiety.  Sending lots of hope and prayers....  

ellekae

IRR:

You probably know more about MS that I do, but my understanding from a Dr. is that MS is not genetic. nbsp;Weird that both your mom and sister have it.

It's true that MS isn't a genetic disorder. At this point, they believe it is environmental and possibly a genetic sensitivity to something. Since I grew up in the same environment as my mom and sister... I think I am going to call my sis and talk to her about it. She was diagnosed 6 years ago, so she may remember the beginning stuff and can help me wrap my brain around this.

hey_its_jenn

I think we talked about this before, but my DH has MS.  He was diagnosed when he was 21 so he's been living with it for 10 years.  If it was me, personally?  I would want to get checked out.  If I re-told your story to DH, he would probably say to wait it out.

He had a few symptoms (his left leg going numb, double vision) when he was diagnosed but he said he could have lived with it.   With that being said, since he has been diagnosed, and we found a neurologist we like, he has only had 1 or 2 flare ups, and it's always in the summer. But, he is on a monthly drip (Tysabri) that helps slow down the progression of the disease.  

Even though we are going to be doing a DIA, we were worried about how his health issues with affect our process.  Each of the agencies we spoke to (which were all based in the US) said as long as we have a doctors note saying he is being treated, we shouldn't have an issue.  So, if you do happen to have it, and I hope like hell you don't, there is always that option for you. 

So I guess I'm not too much help.  But if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me!  good luck and let us know what you decide! 

ellekae

Thanks for your replies, ladies.

I made an appointment and then I called my sister (avoiding mentioning it to my mom who is a serious worrier). She told me it doesn't sound like what she has dealt with... but she still said that going to the doctor is a good idea in case it is something else that can be addressed.

Now I just need to stay calm and not worry about it for a week. My appointment is next Tuesday.

I'll keep you posted.

hey_its_jenn:

I think we talked about this before, but my DH has MS.  He was diagnosed when he was 21 so he's been living with it for 10 years.  If it was me, personally?  I would want to get checked out.  If I re-told your story to DH, he would probably say to wait it out.

He had a few symptoms (his left leg going numb, double vision) when he was diagnosed but he said he could have lived with it.   With that being said, since he has been diagnosed, and we found a neurologist we like, he has only had 1 or 2 flare ups, and it's always in the summer. But, he is on a monthly drip (Tysabri) that helps slow down the progression of the disease.  

So I guess I'm not too much help.  But if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me!  good luck and let us know what you decide! 

Yep, we did talk about it before, so thanks so much for replying! It always helps to talk to someone who knows what MS is all about.

CaptainSerious

Oh, Ellekae, I read this yesterday, and kept wanting to come back to reply, but didn't know what to say.

If you were thinking about putting off having it checked out for virtually any other reason, I would urge you strongly and without a doubt to find out sooner rather than later.  I'm strongly of the mind that having the knowledge is much better than not; you can always decide to not do anything about it now, but you can't make up for lost time if you find out too late.

But, given the fact that it could very possibly derail you chance to continue building your family the way you'd like...that's where I get tripped up.  Given the fact that MS in no way means that you couldn't be an awesome mom, I believe the that you should have the right to make a responsible choice of whether or not to add another child to your family.  So I just couldn't figure out what to say.

If it were me, I'd probably want to get it checked out and then, if it is MS, find a program that would still let me adopt knowing that information.  I realize that you have your heart set on adopting from China, however, so that throws another wrench into the equation.

Reading that you went ahead and made an appointment, I will be keeping you in my prayers, praying very hard that you do not have MS!