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So hard...

LIQueenLIQueen
in Adoption
You know what I find the hardest...being pasted up.  Seeing friends on facebook announce their #2 pregnancy when you have been trying longer to have 1.  Today a girl who got pregnant by accident last year is now announcing her #2.  I sit here not knowing if I will ever get picked by a birth mom and if they do pick me will they change their mind...will I ever have 1 child in my life?  I am sick of getting passed up..makes me so depressed.
7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image
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Re: So hard...

  • Ginger71Ginger71 member

    (((hugs))) i think we have all been there. you just have to believe it will all work out. it will and you will 

     

    barely remember feeling like this. :)

     

     

     

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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member

    i have no idea how that came ot like that.

     

     

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  • crene84crene84 member
    DH and I started TTC before any of our siblings and my sister and his brother both had a baby before us.  It was hard, but once DD was born, we knew it all happened just how it was supposed to.  Hopefully 2013 holds some exciting changes for you!
    Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010 
    DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal 
    3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs 
    IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN :( 
    Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN 
    Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12! 
    Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12! 
    Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13! 

     Our Angel through Adoption
     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


    Our Little Miracle
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    image
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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    (( Hugs )). I'm sorry, that is not easy to deal with.  Be gentle with yourself and try and believe and have faith that you will meet your baby.  This is all part of your story and your path to your child.  In the meantime though, take some time and do something for you, you are awesome and strong, you will get through this.


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  • LIQueenLIQueen

    imagecrene84:
    DH and I started TTC before any of our siblings and my sister and his brother both had a baby before us.  It was hard, but once DD was born, we knew it all happened just how it was supposed to.  Hopefully 2013 holds some exciting changes for you!

    Woah you were matched so soon after being home study approved..and she was born a month later...I hope we get that luck! 

    7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image
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  • dcdarlingdcdarling member

    It's definitely hard.  We just heard of a family member who is having baby #2 this weekend.  And we've got several friends having baby #2 or even #3.

    Hang in there!  Our time will come.  :-)

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  • lafayettegirllafayettegirl member

    Oh yeah. I know these feelings well. It is a daily struggle. Matter of fact, the real killer was when our friends, who have a 6 year old and a 3 years old decided to adopt. They were homestudy approved several months after us and brought home a baby girl almost immediately. Here we sit, a year later, with nothing to show.

    Oh yeah, I know what you are going through really well. Wish there was something to say to make it better, but I've got nothing. Just know you aren't alone.

    Cervical Cancer Survivor since 2007 TTC Since 2008 IUI#1 = BFN IUI#2 = BFN IUI#3 = BFN IUI#4 = BFN IVF #1 = BFN FET #1 = BFN FET #2 = BFN FET #3 = BFN IVF #2 = BFN IVF #3 = BFN FET #4 = BFN FET #5 = BFP!!! 06/10/2011 Miscarriage 06/21/2011 Adoption Application Submitted 09/2011, Personal Documents Submitted 11/18/2011, Home Visit 12/16/2011, Officially Waiting!!! 01/21/2013 MATCHED!!!! 01/24/2013 Baby Boy Born! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • cogbotcogbot member

    ((hugs))

    You are not alone.  I hope your baby comes to you soon. 

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  • MarionB79MarionB79

    After 5 years of IF and almost 9 years of marriage without contraception I know how you feel. We were the same way. We were the first of our friends to get married and to start TTC and the last to become parents. And several of them already have #2 by now.

    But your day will come, I just know it! And when I look at our little miracle and his smiling, sleeping face I know we just had to wait because God wanted us to be his parents. :)

    Know that most of us have been there. Sometimes knowing that you're not alone helps a little. Sending you big hugs!!!! 

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers http://mnmnbaby2be.blogspot.com/ image image
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