Repost, Four Days without Tears

jebretz

So, silly me just figured out the differences between the loss boards.  I belong here more, so I am reposting this question for you ladies.  

Maybe I am just having some up days, and there are some down days to come, but it has been four days since I really cried (not just a few tears) over the loss. I feel worried, like I have gone to some surreal place where I am not processing it or something, and then one day its going to come crashing down all over again. I am also worried because I have not been looking at the pictures as much, and I can still remember when I would focus my day on when a good time to look at them would be. It hasn't even been two weeks, so I feel like it is too soon to be at this point.

 

jess123456

Hugs to you. Grief is a very complicated process and as my therapist says try to eliminate the should and shouldn't when referring to your grief. There is no right way to grieve. Just because I don't cry isn't a bad thing and I used to hold a lot of guilt about that.

Have you spoken to a therapist or attended a support group? Also, writing has been really helpful for me. All of these outlets in addition to this board help express my feelings when it feels like no one else gets it.

Be gentle with yourself. It's a long and often dark road with many twists and turns and everyone handles it differently.

jebretz

Our first support group is tomorrow night, I am looking forward to it.  I do write in a journal as well.  Thank you for the other info... I will try my best to remember that. 

Bayberry12

Grief really does come in waves, one day you can be functioning normally and the next you can't get out of bed.  It's ok not to cry and it's ok to cry all day.

Noethola

Grief is very different for everyone. Each day, each moment will bring something different. It was hard for me when the crying did not come as often, because a part of me felt like tears were the way I had connected with my baby. Without the tears, I had to find a new way to connect. 

Take it easy on yourself and dont expect your feelings to match those of anyone else. though my Dh is still grieving in his was, he also understands that my grief is very different from his. I related to Elsie in a different way than he was able to throughout the pregnancy. 

((hugs))  

Williamandshawnna

~HUGS~

This journey is different for all of us, and yet, very much the same. Like another poster said, it comes in waves. I remember that feeling when I didn't cry for a day, and then another came and then another. The feeling was weird and the first thing I did was come to the ladies here, who all told me it was normal and to be gentle with myself.

So, as others have said, and what has worked for me is therapy, journaling, blogging and there is no bigger support than the open honest and real feedback from the ladies on this board.