Big News... sort of

PhillyGal34

DH just said we can have another kid god willing for the first time!!!! After we had DS it really scared him. Seeing me bedridden on all the IV's and meds and then the scary experience of having a preemie and NICU and well, you know how it is. nbsp;After that he said no more. nbsp;He said he was too scared and that he couldn't go through it again. nbsp;He knew I wanted to have more kids we always planned on 2... although he wanted 3 and it crushed me to think I'd never be pregnant again or never have another baby. Don't get me wrong. I'm BEYOND thankful for my son and if I never had another child I wouldn't feel like I missed out but a large part of me really wanted to give him a sibling. nbsp;So the plan is to start trying next late winter/spring when DS is almost 2 years old. nbsp;DH wants to take me away for a vacation on my 34th birthday and start trying then. I'll be 34 in 13 months. So now that he said it I'm kind of freaked out. The idea of going through everything again is super scary but they said they don't know if it will happen again. Although they diagnosed me with severe pree I didn't have any protein in my urine or any signs of pree other than high blood pressure. nbsp;The big concern is that I was seeing spots and had a headache and years ago I had a fluid "tumor" around my brain and when my blood pressure went up that scared the doctors into thinking I might have a stroke if they waited too long. nbsp;Anyway there is no way to know if it will happen again. nbsp;Although it is still a while away knowing there is hope is exciting and really scary. nbsp;I can't share with anyone IRL and figured you guys would understand... AHHHH!!!!!!

punky917

I completely understand how you feel! I wanted nothing to do with babies for about 2 years after I had DS (26 weeker). After that, however, I really started to want another baby. We had a consult with our MFM first and she was pretty confident (since I had no known reason for the pPROM) that the P17 shots would help me go full term with our next pregnancy.

Then I had a mmc last spring at 9 weeks and I was angry and thought I was done for sure. I realized over time that it was fear that was driving my decision and that I really don't think I could live with myself with the regret of not trying to have another baby.

So here I am, almost 16 weeks pregnant and I couldn't be happier. I have to admit that I still definitely have the brain of a preemie mom and concerned about the what if's. However, I just try to take it one day at a time and think positive that there will be a healthy take home baby after all of this!

Good luck in your TTC journey and I hope that you and your hubby get your full term healthy baby. :-)

jbranden12

Congrats! I have to admit, one of my main thoughts this week has been about whether or not DH and I will be able to have more children. After my first daughter's stillbirth at 31w and now her sisters birth at 26+3, both completely without explanation, I am afraid. But we have always wanted many children. I feel guilty for thinking about this so soon but it's a major part of my sadness over what happened this week.

ericalee27

It is tough but I'm glad that we decided to move forward. I had pree with DS1, and not to scare you, but did develop it again with DS2. I was really worried about going through it again...but we knew we wanted to add to our family. It's what felt right to us. Good luck!

PhillyGal34

Thanks guys. Part of my pain emotionally after everything that happened was feeling like I messed up my chance to have more kids. Dh was really scared. I don't think I will ever fully grasp what he went through though. I thought he might come around but I wasn't 100% sure. Hearing him confirm that we will try again is like a weight lifting off my shoulders.  

thishappyhouse

jbranden12:

Congrats! I have to admit, one of my main thoughts this week has been about whether or not DH and I will be able to have more children. After my first daughter's stillbirth at 31w and now her sisters birth at 26+3, both completely without explanation, I am afraid. But we have always wanted many children. I feel guilty for thinking about this so soon but it's a major part of my sadness over what happened this week.

 

All of this.  I think part of my coping in the early days was to understand what went wrong and what it meant for our family building.  I too felt guilty for thinking about it while my daughter was critically I'll, but I've realized that it is a very natural reaction to the traumatic situation.   

Nita14701

Congrats! My DH feels similarly. I hope things go smoothly for you all.

MinaE01

Yay! Very exciting news! We started discussing baby #2 while I was still pregnant and having a preemie did not change our stance on that. Yes, it will be nervewracking considering what we dealt with, but ultimately we are lucky to have a very healthy little boy.

Good luck to you guys!

PhillyGal34

meganole25:

That's awesome. Part of me is really excited to be pregnant again. I love being a mom and I want a big family. However, the thought of going thought the NICU again scares me. I go back in forth so much. We will have a 2nd, but if those does like DS1 then we might be done.

 

I only ever wanted 2 kids... until I had 1 and now I'd have a million, I love it! but obviously couldn't afford a million kids haha but I am really scared about everything happening again too and if it does, I'm sure we will be done. I don't think it would be fair to our existing kids if I put everyone through that over and over.  We may be done after the next one anyway but we'll see. 

 

I worry that all my worrying will also cause my BP to be high... which is a vicious cycle haha So now my next year is devoted to my precious baby boy and getting myself as healthy as possible.  I need to lose this baby weight (ok it's not baby weight... I lost almost all that and then gained holiday weight back) so that I'm in good shape for the next time! Next time I want an extra cookie I need to remind myself of that :-)