Really need to stop lurking on other boards...

jrebele

I find myself visiting the Multiples board and get upset because I feel like I no longer belong there.  Am I still a mom of multiples? I just want my daughter back.

Sorry for the AW post but it has been such a hard week with it being my first full week back to work and not everyone getting the memo that we lost Sophia so I have gotten a bunch of questions on "how are the girls doing".  

Bread09

I also find myself going back to the multiples board and I get very sad. I don't do it as much as I did in the beginning. You will also be a mom of multiples. I will often refer to my son as our surviving twin. I've been back at work for almost a year now and the questions about "how are the babies?" Have lessened but occasionally still happen and it's hard. One woman would ask me at a monthly meeting for the first six months or so. I would nicely avoid it or correct her and I lost it one time and snapped at her that I only have one baby who is alive. She finally stopped asking. Many hugs to you. PM me if you need to talk more!!

jrebele

Thank you so much for your support!  I sometimes feel so alone because this is such a mix of emotions. 

thecuddleeffect

I find my self headed back there too. I find it hurts worse than my BMB, I so badly wanted to be a mom of multiples. (i still am, they just happen to be angels). Luckily I work in a smaller school so everyone knows, that doesn't stop aquaintences from rubbing my belly tho sorry you have to deal with the questions dear (hugs)

LuckEinLuv

We were just discussing being the mom of multiples when only one survives at my support group. We had a new member who had one surviving twin. It is just a loss group, not specifically for multiples. We discussed the feeling of celebrating and mourning at the same time. There is a woman I know who lost one of her twins 4 years ago. She has finally found the balance between the two feelings. I am sure if either of you, Bread or jrebele, would like to speak to her, I can get her contact info.

Bread09

Thanks LuckE.  I tried to PM you but couldn't figure it out (something is different on the bump than last time I PM'd).  I did send you a facebook message though!

jess123456

You are not alone in this. I too find myself lurking on boards or going to people's Facebook pages who have healthy children and see what they have that I don't have. I don't know why I torture myself either but I guess this is grief. Lots of hugs to you.