January 2012 Moms

Sharing a birthday

So DS and DH share a birthday, and my birthday is 3 days before. We think it's neat, but I figured our birthdays will go to the wayside in favor of DS's.

DH is saying he wants a family birthday party. While I'm all for acknowledging our birthdays, I tend to want DS's birthday to just be his. I know he won't care either way, but I personally think it's tacky to make his first birthday a birthday party for DH and I too. I suspect DH doesn't want to not ever have a birthday party again, so he may be trying to piggyback on DS's parties while he can.

I need some unbiased opinions about this. Should I put my foot down and insist it just be a first birthday party? Should I let DH share the party since DS won't know the difference?
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Re: Sharing a birthday

  • I wouldn't want to share for the first birthday. Maybe promise to share next year's as a compromise. When your DS is still really little he might like sharing his birthday with mommy and daddy!
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  • I think for a first birthday I would want it to be just his. That way it is his first and can know it was all him. In the coming years he can share. I just think the 1st one is special. 
    Married to Brandon since 2/14/06
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  • imageSRK128:
    I think for a first birthday I would want it to be just his. That way it is his first and can know it was all him. In the coming years he can share. I just think the 1st one is special. 

    agreed

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  • What does he mean by sharing the party?  If it just means you have a normal 1st b-day party and happen to have his name on the cake or two cakes, to me that's no biggie.  Like PP said, it can be very sweet - and most people will know it's also daddy's birthday, and will be wishing him Happy "Birthday" anyway.

    If he means he wants to have a party with all his friends (who might not be invited to the 1st b-day), getting presents for him (do adults do that anymore?), and making a lot of work... then I'd pass, thank you very much.

     If he really wants his own celebration, perhaps you can plan a date night to go to dinner with a group of his friends on a different weekend.

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  • imagephdprocrastinator:
    What does he mean by sharing the party? nbsp;If it just means you have a normal 1st bday party and happen to have his name on the cake or two cakes, to me that's no biggie. nbsp;Like PP said, it can be very sweet and most people will know it's also daddy's birthday, and will be wishing him Happy "Birthday" anyway.If he means he wants to have a party with all his friends who might not be invited to the 1st bday, getting presents for him do adults do that anymore?, and making a lot of work... then I'd pass, thank you very much.nbsp;If he really wants his own celebration, perhaps you can plan a date night to go to dinner with a group of his friends on a different weekend.
    what I mean is he wants to invite our friends, even the ones who haven't met DS or shown much interest in him. I'm sure they would get presents for DS, but I wonder if DH is just piggybacking on DS's first to get a party. When I talked to him about it today, it sounds like he sees no problem with adults regularly having birthday parties where I think a present and dinner out is more than enough.

    I really want a special first birthday with DS, but I may have to let our birthdays be part of it to appease DH. He obviously thinks of the shared birthday as a bigger deal than I do. Perhaps I can get away with putting our names on the cake and keeping the rest of the festivities about DS. If he insists on much more focus off DS, I may have some choice words for him.
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  • This is kind of how DH grew up.  His birthday is 2 days after FIL's (which happens to be the same as DS).

    My FFFC: I think making a big deal about birthdays/birthday parties are for kids.  It think it's a bit silly for adults.

    Clearly, I vote for just a party for DS. 

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  • imageGingerWife:
    This is kind of how DH grew up. nbsp;His birthday is 2 days after FIL's which happens to be the same as DS

    Out of curiosity, how did your DH feel about birthdays growing up? I'm worried DH insisting we bundle birthdays together may make DS feel like he doesn't get a special day. I'm thinking about telling him that if he wants a party that he needs to do it separate from DS's parties in the future.
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  • We aren't super huge birthday party people - with that being said I do think there are a few bday's that are more special than others (like 1st, 15 or 16th 21st...) in my opnion I would probably do those seperately and the other ones together... but it's really your call. In regards to a 1st bday, baby wont know. Maybe you could compromise and do it for baby but also have a cake and your friends there too?

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  • My birthday is 4 days before my Dh and our second daughter shares a birthday with him.  Our anniversary also happens to be the day before my birthday, so lots of celebrating happening soon :)  We usually have a joint party, but we only invite family--it is big enough.  We are seeming to do a Taco Bar every year (she is only turning 3) and I get a cake for her and a cake for him.  One year we did have a party with our friends and we made it a joint party for us, left the kids out of it.  

     

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