Question in regards to breastfeeding

honeydew01

I have been reading a lot of books on breastfeeding and also sleeping in order to prepare for arrival of our first LO. I am due March 10th. I feel a little confused as the No Cry Solution book seems to indicate that before the baby falls sleep totally I should be unlatching her so she doesn't associate the boob to falling sleep. Do I need to start this right away from day one? Every time she falls sleep??  or when do I need to do this to break the association? I would really like breastfeeding to work for us but I also would not want to accidentally form bad sleeping habits if sleeping latched on is bad for the kid. I feel so overwhelmed with all the conflicting information I read..I know I need to relax but I keep imagining what would I do if she was here today and get nervous that I may screw it up ..:(

ashleylchapman@hotmail.com

For your actual question- I can't really give you a answer because I never read that book. BUT as far as you being confused about conflicting information with what you read.....go with your gut! I wish someone would have told me that! I always tried to do what the nurses were showing me in the hospital or what I was reading. This didn't work most of the time.  Then I started following my instincts after the first month or so when things weren't working and the found out about AP and realized a lot of the principals worked for my family.  

My biggest take away- follow your intuition and instincts!  

tjkdlhb

There is no book in the world that is as good as your mommy instincts.  You will know what is right when you have your LO in your arms.

The best "advice" I've gotten is from a friend who has a LO a year older than mine.  She said that there is no bad habit that cannot be broken later if need be. I have no problems with babying a baby.  Your LO will go through so many phases and stages throughout the early years.  Your instincts will tell you what to do.

Emerald27

Babies are not born knowing how to fall asleep on their own. They need our help...they have to have associations to fall asleep. This is why some moms rock their babies to sleep, nurse them to sleep, rub their backs or sing to them, and it is why a bedtime routine is so important.

Adults have sleep associations too. There are things we must do in order to fall asleep, even little insignificant things we don't notice anymore, like one last trip to the bathroom, a chapter of a book, or the covers being at a certain angle tucked under our chins.

It is necessary to have sleep associations, but what SPECIFIC association your baby has is sort of up to you. It is not bad for a baby to associate nursing with sleep. My son has a strong nurse to sleep association. It won't mess up their sleep later in life, but some parents do find it inconvenient and do want their children to develop alternative sleep associations that are less demanding on mom.

So do all babies need sleep associations of some sort? Yes. Is the nurse to sleep association bad? No, but it is ok if you prefer to create a different set of sleep associations for your child.

FWIW, I find the nurse to sleep association made for better sleep for me, since I bedshare.

XCrissCrossX

In general, I don't think the rules in any book apply the first week or two-- at that point you are in survival mode. Newborns sleep a lot, and I doubt you'll be able to avoid falling asleep while latched on. I think when sleep becomes more structured (when baby starts sleeping at night, having longer awake periods, and taking 3 naps) is when it's important to start those habits of putting in the crib, un-latching, etc.

RioG1978

tjkdlhb:

There is no book in the world that is as good as your mommy instincts.  You will know what is right when you have your LO in your arms.

The best "advice" I've gotten is from a friend who has a LO a year older than mine.  She said that there is no bad habit that cannot be broken later if need be. I have no problems with babying a baby.  Your LO will go through so many phases and stages throughout the early years.  Your instincts will tell you what to do.

This 100%.  Your instincts are always bang on.

It's just too bad that we don't learn that until after the fact!

Still free to be me

My first had a complete nurse-to-sleep association.  She fell asleep without nursing, sitting in her swing, or riding in the car exactly four times before her 2nd birthday.  By her 3rd birthday, she would nurse for a little while, then I would end the nursing session and then she would fall asleep.  Now, she occasionally asks to nurse, but I consider the association to be broken.  It all worked out just fine.

My second, on the other hand, is a totally different nurser and sleeper.  She has learned to nurse to sleep, but there are lots and lots of other ways to get her to sleep...My main concern regarding breastfeeding with her is that she is going to self-wean way before I am ready!

Anyway, my point is that every kid is different...I would just go with what works...

twocents6708

I agree with previous posters go with your instincts. DD is a year old and still nurses to sleep at bed time. She has had trouble sleeping so this works for us. We will work on this habit later when she has the ability to self soothe and develop a different routine to help her sleep. My best advice that I got from this board is that while you can read books and gain info from different places, but you should do what works best for your family. As long as it is safe, that's all that matters for your baby. I am a big "researcher" but have found that I parented better when I started just doing what was natural.

klafle3

Ditto what PPs said. Go with your instincts. I read the NCSS, and think it's a great book, but those first 3 months are all about trying to survive. I had to nurse LO to sleep up until recently (he's 12 months). I don't regret it. It's a beautiful thing to watch your sweet baby fall asleep on the breast.

If your LO needs to nurse to fall asleep and you want to break the association later, there is a method described in that book. HTH

boogerbearoriginal

The first 3m or so, I wouldn't worry about doing anything "wrong" to make bad habits. There is no way I could NOT let LO nurse to sleep as a newborn.

I agree with PPs - trust your instincts and listen to your baby. Some kids are very attached to nursing to sleep, whereas others aren't at all and every where in-between. My LO was very attached to nursing/bottle (because I work) to sleep the first 6m. After that he got to where other caregivers could rock him to sleep, but I still had to nurse him. Now H will lay him down to sleep and just lay next to him and he goes out in ~5mins. But I still nurse him to sleep, or mostly to sleep because sometimes he will roll away when he's just dozy but done and fall asleep laying next to me.  Also, breastmilk has sleep inducing properties (for both mom and LO) so that to me indicates it's meant to help babies sleep.

You are going to find a lot of conflicting information about the "right" way to parent; in books, from friends, family, etc.  But barring things like abuse/neglect, there is no wrong way to parent your child. If something works for you, your baby, your family, and everyone is happy/sleeping/thriving then it's the right way.

nosoup4u

I nursed my kids to sleep until at least 18 months. It was just easier for us. But! They also slept on their own mattress on the floor, so I could nurse them down and then sneak off. When they were babies, I was usually able to nurse them to sleep in a rocking chair, and then put them in the crib while they were asleep. We never really pushed sleep training or anything, though. And I ended up stopping the nursing-to-sleep association different ways with each kid.

Nursing to sleep is just one of those things that you kind of have to wait and see what works for you and your baby. But don't feel bad nursing to sleep for the first few months (or even beyond them!). hth

honeydew01

Thank you everyone! I really hope that my instincts kick in when the LO is here..it's great to here everyone experience, it has helped me calm down some since last night..

sucredee

DD is 2.5 (32 months) and needed to nurse to sleep until about 15 months or so (she would fall asleep fine at daycare for naps). She has always been in her own bed. At 15 months she quit nursing to sleep. She still needs/wants to nurse last thing before bed but most of the time she will go into her crib awake and then sing/talk until she is asleep. The last few days unfortunately she has been nursing to sleep because she keeps skipping her nap which means she is exhausted come bedtime. For nap time she does more or less nurse to sleep and I will take it but it doesn't always work anymore ... I think she is starting to give up her nap. 

i am the only one that puts her to bed at night (we have had an occasionally babysitter and when we do she goes to sleep just fine) and I'm ok with that. It just depends on what you are Ok with and you probably won't know until your LO is actually here. My DD usually wakes up once a night still wanting to nurse and again, I'm ok with that. It won't be too long before she won't need me anymore it doesn't take long at all and I'm back in bed after a few minutes. She has an occasional night where she STTN now so she will do it in her own time. Plus it is great to have when she is sick/teething (and traveling!).

 Like PP said, go with your gut and do what is right for you and your family. They will be big kids before you know it and they won't be nursing forever.  

neverblushed

I was really anxious about this type of thing, too!  Now when I look back on it, I realize how unnecessary my anxiety was.

You've got a good 2 or 3 months at the start of the baby's life to figure out how to handle things like this.  No "bad habits" are going to be formed that early.  By the time your baby is around 3 months old, you'll be in a LOT better place to judge how to handle things like this.

If I could go back 12.5 years and give my about-to-be-a-new-mommy self a single piece of advice, it would be "Relax about all this stuff! When it's time to make a parenting decision, your instincts will tell you what to do!"

BabyButler2010

Hi there!  Try not to worry too much about it.  I did read the NCSS, but didn't worry about my little guy nursing to sleep until he got older.  And honestly, even though I read the book, he nursed to sleep right up unitil about 2 weeks ago...it just wasn't an issue for us.  There were the occassional nights (this is when I started to read the book) where it seemed like he was making me an all night buffet...but it turned out that he only did that either when he was teething...or oddly enough, right before I'd start my period.

I loved nursing him to sleep...it was wonderful cuddle time.  Once your LO gets here you will figure out how you feel about it and make the right decision for both of you.  Try not to worry too much- it will seem rough at first, but after the first few weeks (maybe a few more) you will both have a great handle on it

Hugs & congrats on your LO to come!  Being a mom is the most amazing thing ever!

 

PunkyBooster

Put the books down. 

No one knows how to mama your baby better than you. And trust me, you will know exactly what to do once you meet her. You won't screw up by nurturing and loving her, I promise.