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My heart hurts...
This early in the game, I should take myself right off the Rainbow Kids list. 
They sent me a 'new addition that matches my profile,' a beautiful little girl on the special needs list, but she is in China. No matter how much I want to move heaven and earth to get to her, I am too young (two years before I meet their requirement of 30), my husband's salary would have to go up by thirteen thousand dollars a year, and we are both well over their idiotic BMI requirement. She's beyond our reach.
I'm probably being a huge baby about this, but this just...hurts. I haven't felt this drawn to any of the other children on Rainbow Kids. Guess I should go unsubscribe now. Please forgive the rant, and thanks for listening.
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Re: My heart hurts...
I'm so sorry.
And honestly what is with the BMI requirement? It's just dumb. Any evidence that indicates that fat peoples lives are truncated just by merit of being fat is seriously flawed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo
Thanks, maryoosa.
The BMI requirement makes me rabid to begin with, ugh. It's apparently better for a child with visual special needs to grow up in an orphanage with only a 50% chance of receiving any education than be cursed with overweight parents. Stupid stupid stupid.
I am not even going to start on my fat-does-not-equal-unhealthy rant right now...<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/LC1Ym4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>
I hate those requirements are so difficult.
The first agency we looked at here had a max age of 40. DH just turned 40. It broke my heart too. Then we picked up and found a different one.
Those pictures sure make it tough to move on though. I am sorry.
Well I would say if your pregnant wouldn't that maybe be why you don't reach the BMI requirements?
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I hate the 30 rule too. I mean, just come and see us. We already have a kid - he's fed and clothed and taken care of just fine! What's gonna happen on that fateful day that will make me a more fit parent? Nothing. Nothing, that's what.
I've continued to look at RainbowKids and Reece's Rainbow; I feel like it can be good to use the websites as a way to sharpen my focus on the "orphan cause"; that is, there being fewer orphans in the world! It also kind of helps me normalize needs I haven't had a lot of experience with - I think before I may have had a hard time seeing past the special needs into the personhood of the person with special needs. Embarrassing to admit, but still. Being able to look at the faces of children and thinking logically about what it would takes to care for them (beyond normal care of a child) I feel like has helped me when I'm out and about and cross paths with a person with special needs, to not be so awkward or something.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Right there with you. DH isn't 30 until June, and we have to save up a ton of cash to meet the net worth requirement.
Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts
Heading to China in November 2014 to bring our son home!
I'm so sorry
I totally agree with you, the BMI and salary requirements for China suck. My husband is really tall (which makes the BMI even harder) and he's within 20 pounds of being under 40. It's great that he's losing the weight, but I hate that he has anxiety about not getting there before our physicals. And you would think that the fact that our social worker keeps saying we will make amazing parents would make up for the fact that he is 20 pounds over.
I haven't signed up with Rainbow Kids, do they have quite a few from China on there?
After 2 years of IF workups/treatments and 2 IUIs, we have closed the door on fertility treatments.
We are very excited to be pursuing international adoption from China!
6000 miles and a day
I get what you're saying, we have an account with our agency where we can see waiting children and every time I see a little one from our program it hurts a little because we've been over and over the numbers and just can't move forward right now.
FWIW, I love Reece's Rainbow and constantly fall in love with kids on the site. One little girl I felt so drawn to, but we could never afford the fees for that country. So instead we made a few small donations to her adoption account on Reece's Rainbow. It might seem weird since we're saving for adoption, but I just felt called to her and even though we couldn't adopt right now, we wanted to help. I saw that she has a family committed to adopt her now and they even have a blog and seem amazing and will be so great for her.
When we were adopting, we literally had to choose our child from a list of waiting children. Whenever we would fall in love with a child that we understood we couldn't parent, it was excruciating. The only thing that helped was that the doctor that was helping us evaluate the children's files told us that not only is it better to walk away than get into a situation in which we were over our heads, that there are families out there with the experience and ability to parent these children, and they really look for children with specific needs to add to their families. It was hard to believe until the first girl we "walked away from" was adopted. After that, each time was a little easier.
When we were adopting, we literally had to choose our child from a list of waiting children. Whenever we would fall in love with a child that we understood we couldn't parent, it was excruciating. The only thing that helped was that the doctor that was helping us evaluate the children's files told us that not only is it better to walk away than get into a situation in which we were over our heads, that there are families out there with the experience and ability to parent these children, and they really look for children with specific needs to add to their families. It was hard to believe until the first girl we "walked away from" was adopted. After that, each time was a little easier.