agency communication

erinmc1

Our social worker left the agency back in October, and we haven't been assigned a new one yet.  We're starting to get really agitated.  The director of adoptions has been acting as our social worker temporarily, but in spite of telling her that we like to get a call once in a while to notify us of any updates on the birthparent situation when we are actively waiting for a decision, she hasn't followed through.  We submitted our profile almost a month ago for a matching situation, and hadn't heard anything at all from the agency since.  I finally called a couple days ago, to tell them about my hubby's possible deployment.  And the director told me while we were on the phone that they'd heard from the mom, and she was still looking over the profiles and hadn't made a decision yet.  That's exaclty the kind of info we'd like to be updated about.

Today, the director sent us an email, to inform us that another family was chosen.  And I'm peeved.  I'd much rather have received a phone call.  For the $14K we've already paid into this adoption, I don't think it's too much to ask to receive a little personal attention, especially when they're delivering bad news.  I emailed back, asking that she keep us posted on when we could expect to be assigned a new social worker, because we're feeling adrift.  She apologized, and said that she is actually our social worker for the time being, and is training someone, who should be ready in a "few weeks." 

We chose this agency based on their reputation, and so far, we've spent 2/3 of the time we've been waiting (almost 14 months), without a social worker whose primary job is attending to his/her waiting families assigned to us.  Additionally, they keep adding new families at a much faster rate than they're matching (almost 50% increase in number of families since we started waiting).  Obviously, we're a little raw from today's rejection, but I wonder if I'm just being sensitive, or if this is as upsetting as I feel like it is? 

IRR

Sorry, that is just awful.  Does the director have a boss?  If they keep adding families and not staff, what are they doing with all of the cash they are generating?  This is part of the reason I don't want to use an agency until I identify a BM since I am in an agency only state.  Try to stay positive, I know it is difficult, but this entire process really is terrible.

edaire

That is very irritating! And you are right, they need to consider the time and money you have put into this. If I were waiting for 14 months, I would want someone to be my cheerleader and advocate on my behalf. I can't imagine having to wait a month to know if a birth mother chose us or not. I would be climbing up the wall! I sincerely hope that it gets better. I am experiencing my own irritation with our agency but after reading your post, I need to not complain! Good luck and I know it will all work out for the best

lafayettegirl

I agree - you should be peeved at the agency and your contact there. We've been on a waiting list for almost a year now. We started with a local agency last January - that was a complete bust. I think they've placed 2 babies in the year we've been with them and the SW we worked with has been not great, to put it mildly. So last August, we started working with a consultant who put us in touch with another 4-5 agencies. Since August, we've been shown 19 times (we're currently waiting to hear back on a situation we REALLY REALLY want).

I can tell you that it NEVER takes a month to hear back from a BM who is looking at profiles. Every time we've been shown, we've heard back from the agency within a week. 

That being said, some of the responses do come in the form of an email. Often it is because there were a lot of people being shown or because we have given our profile through our consultant to an agency we had not signed up with. 

However, if we are listed with the agency, they always call us to let us know one way or another.

I would absolutely call your agency and ask to speak to THE person in charge. I've found that sometimes the person running the show has no idea what their staff is or is not doing (referring back to our problems with our local agency). Then I would consider branching out to other agencies or at least a consultant. That made all the difference in the world for us. (We did have to spend some money on application fees, but if we find our child through any of those agencies, it will be money well spent.)

Dr.Loretta

Maybe it's just how our agency worked, or how we went into it, but things were handled a bit differently.

We weren't even told if our profiles were being shown. I'd check in every month or 2 to find out how things were going, but for the most part figured no news meant we either weren't being shown or we weren't chosen.

That said, if I had been told we were being shown, I'd want some update. Maybe they were just waiting to hear one way or another so you didn't feel like they were still stringing you along?

In any case, I'd document what issues you have, and send them in an e-mail to the director with your concerns.

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sewolff

We're in the same situation with our agency.  Our assigned family advocate is never in the office and when we get a return call a day or two later it's always someone else.  We've "only" been waiting 5 months but our profile hasn't been shown at all.  It sounds like agencies take on more clients than they can handle.  At least our agency doesn't require payment until placement, so we haven't invested a huge amount of money yet.  Some days I just feel like it will never happen.

erinmc1

I'm just tired of feeling helpless. We are at their mercy to be matched or not, and it sucks feeling like our requests aren't being taken seriously. I have no idea how I'm going to handle this lack of bedside manner solo.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling like it's never going to happen.