random questions

Tigger & pooh

After your loss did you feel like there was bad news around every corner and your whole life was doomed?   I keep thinking more bad things are going to happen.  For example my DS keeps getting fevers my first thought is cancer,  DH doesn't answer his phone on the way home from work I panic he was in a car accident.... Is it just me who is doing this? 

On a completely different thought.  Did you send thank you notes to people who sent flowers or gave small gifts after the loss?  We didn't do a service or anything but I have had a few family members and friends give us small items in rememberance to Ella.  Do I send thank you notes for sympathy cards? 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Yes.  It's very normal.  DH didn't call me on his way home from work one night and I immediately thought the worst.

We sent thank you cards for flowers and gifts but not cards.  There really is no correct protocol for this kind of stuff though.  People aren't (or shouldn't away) going to be upset with you if you don't send them a thank you card.  You've got enough going on.

starburst0928

I agree that those feelings are normal. I have the same thoughts, and this topic was actually brought up in our loss group. Our facilitator said its normal until you find it getting in the way of your day.

As far as the thank you cards go, yes, we sent our cards for flowers, food, donation, but not if we just received a card.  

jess123456

Yes those feelings are very normal. It's what I call "worst case scenario syndrome." For me it could be as severe as death again or as silly as someone bumpy into me with their shopping cart at the end of the grocery aisle. It's an anxious feeling that was especially present right after we lost my daughter. I am typically a very positive person that can see the good in things but this whole experience has really shown me another side.

My therapist told me that it's part of the grief process. It's getting more manageable but know that you aren't alone in feeling this way.

Tigger & pooh

whew!  good to know I am experience all the normal parts of grief, yippee me   Better get started on those thank you cards.  Thanks everyone!

lolee465

I think that's completely normal. If I call DH and he doesn't answer, my mind goes to the worst case scenerio and I call back until he picks up. One night it was snowing really bad and he had to go somewhere..I started sobbing. He asked me what was wrong..and all I could choke out was "be careful, please."

We had a funeral service, and I did get flowers and food from people. I didn't send thank you notes. I bought the cards and planned on it, but when I sat down to do it I just couldn't. I didn't know what to say, I kept breaking down. I don't think people expect a card, and I think they probably understand.