What Do You Do With a Baby That Won't Be Put Down?

yvdukana

My AP 4.5 month old refuses to be put down. We hold him or wear him in the Beco Gemini for most of the day, but sometimes my DH or I need to put him down for a few minutes, be it to go to the bathroom or whatnot and he just screams. We've tried everything, the swing, bouncer, playmat, exersaucer, Bumbo, PnP, RnP, crib. Sometimes he'll tolerate these places for a few minutes, but then it's back to crying to be picked up. 

 We're having a very hard time with sleep as well. He used to sleep a nice 4.5-6 hr stretch in the RnP next to my side of the bed and then get up once at night to eat and then go back to sleep for a few more hours. For the last month he's been in the 4 month wakeful I assume and has been up every 1-2 hrs. I finally gave up trying to put him down and just gave in to bed sharing and side lying nursing. He cannot be put down drowsy at all. He's EBF and nurses to sleep, if and when he will be put down in something (usually the RnP is the only thing he'll accept) if he's passed out, but usually wakes right away the minute he's put down. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried the NCSS of unlatching him when he stops drinking and is comfort sucking, but he wakes right back up and it's all over and we have to go back to comfort nursing. He won't take a pacifier. He cat naps only during the day on me on the Boppy while nursing. If I move it's all over and he wakes up. We've tried the swing for both naps and sleep to no avail. He will nap being worn in the Beco, but again the most we get out of him is 30 minutes to an hour or so. 

Help! How can I get him to be content being put down during the day and go to sleep? 

TiffanyBerry

You might not be able to make him content with being put down on his own for a while.  It was very hard for my daughter to not be held as well, but got a smidge easier when she could sit up and when she learned to suck her thumb (big soothing aspect there!).

I'm sure others will have more suggestions, but sometimes,.... well... it kinda sucks until they get older.

tokenhoser

It's really hard, but you can't change a baby's needs. Some babies have higher needs than others. The best thing you can do is survive, line up help and use it, and wait. I was lucky enough to have my MIL come over sometimes at 7 am. DS was always happiest in the morning, so she would hold and play with him for a while and I would go back to bed.

Things will change. You can keep trying to stretch his tolerance for being put down and for sleeping not on the boob, but in the end... time is probably what it will take.

TiffanyBerry

I wanted to add - I don't think any of us are trying to be dismissive of how bad it can be.  It can be really, really bad.  And you have to figure out what you can survive through.  It *will* get better, and sometimes you just need to survive through the highest-needs portion.  Wearing him will help, continuing to work on sleep (especially WHEN he sleeps) will help, but this sort of high-needs stress is the reason my husband doesn't want another one.  (It's a reason I don't either, but then I have hormones telling me different... :P)

BelhurstBride

Ditto the others in that it will get better. DD was the same way. It wasn't easy. Sitting up and becoming mobile helped tremendously. 

With DD we didn't have any luck with independent sleep until we started relying on the swing. It was the only way she would sleep without sleeping on me.  

yvdukana

Thank you ladies! I didn't find it dismissive at all. I was just wondering/hoping there was something I could do to help him, but if it's just a "get better with time" thing I guess we'll just have to wait it out. I'm glad to hear the more mobile he gets the more it may calm down. I hate putting him down and letting him cry, but sometimes I just have to just to use the bathroom or get dressed, so down he goes for a few minutes. Wearing him, and finding the right carrier has helped tremendously as has co-sleeping and nursing in bed, I think those things alone have saved my sanity. 

I hear you Tiffany on the husband not wanting a second due to high-needs. I think we ask ourselves every day if we could do this again in a few years, jury's still out...

BelhurstBride

yvdukana:

I hear you Tiffany on the husband not wanting a second due to high-needs. I think we ask ourselves every day if we could do this again in a few years, jury's still out...

We were totally in the one and done boat because of the way DD was as an infant. She's a ton of fun now, but man, the first 12 months or so were absolutely miserable. The whole second kid was a surprise for us and we're praying this one is nothing like his or her sister.