vent: visitors and worry over sickness

3litttlebirds

DS has been home from the NICU for 10 weeks. So I asked all close family to get a flu shot before seeing him, which they did. But half of them still kiss DS in the face, which I said please do not do and that I don't like that. I understand people want to visit, but I asked for limited visits during this flu/RSV/cold season...yet people are wanting to come literally almost every weekend since he's been home. Also, my dad's wife wants to bring her grandson here to meet DS (a boy I've barely even met twice). I said no because I don't want DS around other children right now, if I can help it. She then pointed out that I can't keep DS from all germs and that my DH can bring something home from work and made DS sick. Yes, I understand that I can't keep all germs away, but I can significantly limit his exposure to germy people/situations. Also, DH is one of DS's primary caregivers, has to go to work to provide for our family, and has to live here with us.....her grandson, not so much. Also, DH is an adult who practices good hygiene as he is worried about the baby also. What part of "my baby was premature, he may have a less developed immune system because of prematurity, I am freaked out about germs, and this is my child so I make the rules" do people not get?..especially family? Oh and my dad's wife also said we were "hogging" the baby. Crazy lady.

Vent over...thanks for listening.

Nita14701

I hear you. I had similar annoyances with family at holiday time that we were gong to stay home with LO and not go to family gatherings. I was so frustrated that I couldn't wait for the holidays to be over. But I feel better knowing that I stood my ground and did what I felt was best for LO. If family doesn't like it oh well. They weren't the once sitting at the NICU every day and they won't be the once who would end up taking care of LO if she gets sick.  You do what feels best to you.

PhillyGal34

I am SO sick of the "you can't keep him in a bubble forever" talk. Mind you this was said at a family function with kids (approved by our doctor) after I asked someone to use sanitizer.  No I cannot and will not keep him in a bubble forever but the first winter is not FOREVER!

 

You are doing the right thing. they can get over themselves and deal with it.  I finally snapped and said "I am only doing what I can to protect my son. I will never forgive someone who gets him sick when it could have been avoided by using sanitizer for five second and I will never forgive myself if I put him in that situation so unless you want to be the one to pay his ICU bills if he ends up back there as well as my lost salary from missed work and listen to us hate you for the rest of your life, use the sanitizer"

 

I'm a bish, I'm ok with it though in this case. 

rslhmg

I totally understand! Dhs family lives about 5 mins away and its about 5050 on who understands and who doesn't about limiting visits. Dh actually had to start locking the door during the day because his family members would just show up and walk in. They are really close and just popping in was fine until DD came home and the flu/rsv season started. Unless we are expecting someone he has pretty much implemented a don't answer the door rule lol. His aunts are the ones bad about following the rules, and I get a lot of crap from them about keeping DD locked away as they put it, but we both just keep firm and tell them they can wait til the season is over because we are not risking another hospital stay to appease them. DD did get sick anyway, but she caught it from one of her brothers on our weekend to have them.

kck329

Magic words---"his doctor told us ____"

Then its not your rule, its the rule from an expert. Pick a specialist to make it sound even more important. Its the only thing that helped my family get it. 

DrRx

kck329:

Magic words---"his doctor told us ____"

Then its not your rule, its the rule from an expert. Pick a specialist to make it sound even more important. Its the only thing that helped my family get it. 

THIS! I totally understand and it is totally frustrating.