- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Attachment Parenting
HoneyBunny678
member
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Is it too late?
HoneyBunny678
member
My daughter is almost one and a half years old, and for all her life - except the first 6 weeks I've been working outside the home. She stayed with her Daddy some (she is very attached to him) and her Grandmas too (she also is attached to them) but did not spend but a hour or two in the evening with me. I am the primary bread winner for our family.
My husband has finally decided that what I've been saying all along was correct, our daughter needs me at home so we will set in place a plan for us to sell our house and for me to quit my job so I can be a full time stay at home mom.
Now I have worries, is it too late for my daughter to attach to me, I am afraid she does not want to spend time with me now and she screams for Daddy when we are both in the room with her.
Is it too late to attach to her?
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DThis discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it too late?
It is not too late! It will take some time for her to adjust to you as primary caregiver, but just begin implementing the principles of AP and you two will become closely connected. Snuggle her, play with her, try to be very gentle and understanding as she learns about the world, and support her in her struggles through developmental milestones. If you are very respectful and loving toward your daughter, your effort will really pay off in the relationship you develop!
You are probably more attached now than you think. Remember, love multiplies. Her preference for grandma or daddy does not indicate that she loves you less or that your connection isn't strong, but it shows her bond with them and her comfort with them as caregivers.
The beauty of AP, and any other parenting style for that matter, is you can pick and choose what you like about it. Just because you're a WM does not mean you're not attached to your daughter. I'm a SAHM and often times DD asks for "dada" first thing. She'll also run to the door several times during the day and bang on it saying "dada!" Even though DH is at work until early evening, she is definitely attached to him. She goes through phases where she wants me more and others where she only wants him. It's totally normal.
Selling your home is a big move. Do you just plan to rent or do you plan to buy something cheaper? I'm not trying to tell you what to do but just consider your decision financially and from all other aspects before doing something so big.
Could you slowly move her to a later bedtime so you could spend more time in the evenings with her? DD goes to bed between 8:30-9 so DH still has plenty of time with her after work. Is there something special you two can do so it will be your thing. DH gives DD her bath almost every night. I only do it once every other week or so to give him a break. She will say "bap! Dada bap!" She knows it's their thing.
To answer your question, it's not too late to attach but I bet you two are more attached than you realize.
I don't think that it's too late and I agree that you two are more attached than you realize.
My DD was super attached to me and appeared to be barely attached to DH when she was a year and a half old. DH really didn't change much of what he was doing, but their attachment is great now.
However, we have also made the decision to try to sell our house, as we believe it will improve the quality of our family life and enable DH to have a stronger attachment with both of our children.