Typical or not?

nomadica

I've been MIA from this board for awhile! My son has what can best be described as a "possible" PDD-NOS diagnosis. I'm pretty sure but not totally sure he is somewhere on the spectrum. I still struggle a lot with knowing what behaviors are typical for his age and what might not be. I also worry that my husband and I unconsciously accommodate DS in areas where maybe we shouldn't. Anyway, I was wondering what other ASD moms thought about some behaviors that DS is demonstrating:

-DS likes to turn on the lights when we get home, or if I go into the bathroom. He also likes to "open" the baby-gate for me if I come downstairs and he likes to zip up my coat. When I forget to allow him to do these things, he becomes upset, which can last for several minutes. He does not turn lights on and off repeatedly.

-DS LOVES books. Like any toddler, he likes to have me read books for him again and again. But it seems like when it gets to the point that he has memorized the book (and he memorizes even fairly lengthy kids books), he then prefers to re-read those himself and does not like for me to read them. On one or two occasions, I have heard him say a line from a book out of context (scripting?).

-We got DS a play kitchen for Christmas. Although he asks me to come play it with him, when I show him pretend play with it, he asks me to stop (e.g. doesn't want me to put the food in a pot and pretend to cook it). He mostly likes to throw around the bowls and push all the buttons and such. He does like it when I show him pretend play with his play dinosaurs (e.g. them having a birthday part, or putting them down for bed) and can participate somewhat in this, though he never does this on his own.

-His language skills are coming along, but sometimes he repeats a phrase several times until I sort of repeat it back to him. This morning, he said "Bye bye in the blue car" (which is typical for him as we head out to our car), but said it over and over again. He did stop when I asked him to and wasn't upset.

These are a few examples of some quirky behaviors, and I'd love to hear people's thoughts on them. I know it's so tough to differentiate typical vs. atypical at this age, but I'd like to intervene with behaviors that aren't typical. TIA!

pastalady

When you say possible diagnosis what do you mean? Has he been diagnosed? The best starting point is your doctor. Some of those behaviors seem pretty typical, it depends in what context. For example, my daughter memorizes books like crazy. The issue is when she communicates only by scripting. When she follows kids around on the playground reciting take with me alphabet and only answers questions with lines form that book.

Remember to listen to your gut. ASD is a spectrum.

pastalady

Sorry, meant to say ASD is a spectrum so there are so many variables. My favorite quote is "If you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism." In our parent group there are no 2 kids with the same behaviors.

kcisthebombdotcom

The first one--kids like routine. He likely enjoys the routine of doing things/helping out. I think some NT kids do become upset when the routine is thrown off.

Also the last one--when my son started talking (who is not autistic) he repeated and got stuck on stuff a ton. It's fairly typical when language starts developing and has definitely minimized with time as my sons language improved. Acknowledging you understood what he said by repeating it back can help. Since he was ok with changing the topic without continuing to get stuck further/having a meltdown I would consider it a "typical" response. 

nomadica

pastalady:

When you say possible diagnosis what do you mean? Has he been diagnosed? The best starting point is your doctor. Some of those behaviors seem pretty typical, it depends in what context. For example, my daughter memorizes books like crazy. The issue is when she communicates only by scripting. When she follows kids around on the playground reciting take with me alphabet and only answers questions with lines form that book.

Remember to listen to your gut. ASD is a spectrum.

Sorry I was unclear, he has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS by our developmental pedi, but she let us know that she was not entirely sure if the diagnosis is accurate. He'll be re-evaluated with the ADOS in a few months, so that may provide more clarity. I'm fairly sure he's somewhere on the spectrum, though his deficits are subtle at this point. DS does communicate without scripting, for sure, though he is not really at the point where he can do back-and-forth conversations. Most of his talk is asking for what he wants, or pointing out items of interest.

nomadica

KC_13:

The first one--kids like routine. He likely enjoys the routine of doing things/helping out. I think some NT kids do become upset when the routine is thrown off.

Also the last one--when my son started talking (who is not autistic) he repeated and got stuck on stuff a ton. It's fairly typical when language starts developing and has definitely minimized with time as my sons language improved. Acknowledging you understood what he said by repeating it back can help. Since he was ok with changing the topic without continuing to get stuck further/having a meltdown I would consider it a "typical" response. 

Thanks, it's helpful to hear that typical kids engage in the same behaviors! We are never sure what to worry about or not. His therapists seem unsure at times, as well! When I repeat back what DS has said, that usually stops him, so perhaps all he wants is the acknowledgment and hasn't gotten "stuck". Thanks!

pastalady

nomadica:

pastalady:

When you say possible diagnosis what do you mean? Has he been diagnosed? The best starting point is your doctor. Some of those behaviors seem pretty typical, it depends in what context. For example, my daughter memorizes books like crazy. The issue is when she communicates only by scripting. When she follows kids around on the playground reciting take with me alphabet and only answers questions with lines form that book.

Remember to listen to your gut. ASD is a spectrum.

Sorry I was unclear, he has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS by our developmental pedi, but she let us know that she was not entirely sure if the diagnosis is accurate. He'll be re-evaluated with the ADOS in a few months, so that may provide more clarity. I'm fairly sure he's somewhere on the spectrum, though his deficits are subtle at this point. DS does communicate without scripting, for sure, though he is not really at the point where he can do back-and-forth conversations. Most of his talk is asking for what he wants, or pointing out items of interest.

DD also can communicate without scripting but it's what she always falls back on. Meeting new people, etc, she always reverts to it. Yes, it is such a broad spectrum. It sounds like he is getting his speech and OT. Is he in preschool or a program of sorts? Sounds like you are doing what's best for your DS. Don't get tto stuck on what behaviors he demostrates that fit into a ASD label, etc. It's so easy to view everything our kids do through the scope of ASD. Some behaviors are typical, some are quirks, some are ASD and some are personality lol! Good luck to you!

nomadica

Auntie- thanks for your thoughtful responses. DS doesn't qualify for speech, but he does get extensive ABA (we have a therapist 17 hours per week and weekly supervision with a BCBA). However, this will be ending soon when he turns 3, and we are in the process of determining if he will qualify for services through our town's inclusion preschool. I'm pretty nervous about there being a significant change/reduction in services, especially as he doesn't have significant behavior problems and has strong pre-academic skills.

Currently, we deal with the rigid behavior by forcing changes. For example, when we go for walks DS likes to go a certain way. Sometimes we do, and sometimes I insist we change up the route. DS will fuss/cry, but will go along with it. So far, I haven't seen any meltdowns over this type of thing. Do you have any suggestions on how best to deal with these types of behaviors?

The not wanting to read with me does worry me. Sometimes he does, but probably more often he likes to do it himself. DS likes to have me nearby with whatever he's doing, and likes for me to color with him and such, but I find he is often just happy playing alone as long as I'm around. He does solicit us for some types of games (e.g. pretending to hide, tickle and running games, singing songs).

Your input is appreciated!