hmm..listens at home, not at school? — The Bump

hmm..listens at home, not at school?

my DD turned 3 in september so she has to go in a 2 year classroom (school with cir. not a daycare) and is having trouble listening to her teachers. she is fine at home, but it is different at school. It is usually while she is doing something she wants to do and doesn't want to stop (ie playing music in music class)

any suggestions or tips? she had never been in any daycare or babysat prior to school


Re: hmm..listens at home, not at school?

  • I think there could be a few explanations for this, and I don't think that being a 3 y/o in a 2s class is a factor.  Here are some other possibilities:

    --if the behavior just started, but she's been in school since the fall, she could be doing a little experiment to test the limits at school.  Now the newness of school has worn off, and she's seeing what she can get away with.

    --it could be that it doesn't seem like she does this at home because you have more flexibility.  If you want her to eat lunch, but she still wants to play with play-doh, her sandwich will sit there for a few minutes while she finishes whatever play-doh project she's got going.  But at school there's less flexibility.  She can't keep playing with musical instruments once music period is over.

    Regardless, there are sort of two basic ways for parents to deal with behavior issues that come up in school. 

    1) What Happens At School Stays At School Method -- reinforce the school's expectations by talking about them at home, but basically let your child and the school work it out.

    2) If You Get In Trouble At School, You're In Bigger Trouble At Home Method -- reinforce the school's expectations by enforcing a consequence at home when a child doesn't behave at school.

    I would talk to her teacher and find out what they do.  Doubtless they have some method of coping with this, as your daughter cannot be the first preschooler they've seen who was reluctant to move on to a new activity!!  See what they do and what they recommend.  Figure out if you want to use some sort of incentive or punishment at home or whether you just want to be aware of the issue so you can talk about it with your child.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • thank you for your help. i called yesterday and made an appointment to meet with her teachers tomorrow. I have created a responsibility chart at home with smiley faces...earning towards a "prize" and one of her responsibilities is listening to her teachers, along with sharing with her brother, etc.. so we will see what they say tomorrow and see how the chart goes too
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