the wait and deployment

erinmc1

Has anyone experienced a deployment while they were waiting?  My husband is in the reserves, and they activated him for a July deployment yesterday.  I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat, and if so, if it affected your matching potential? 

For the birthmoms out there, would knowing the adoptive dad was on a deployment affect your decision, if you liked a couple's profile?  Would knowing that it was a deployment to a non-combat zone change your perception at all?

mnmello

I don't think it would've been a huge issue for me if that situation had presented itself in the parent profiles I looked through. If a birthmom is connected to a couple - she's connected to a couple. That's based on a lot of other things other than if he's currently deployed or not. I would probably be asking about how long he's deployed, when he'll be around for the baby's first few years of life, etc. - but if I was pulled toward you as a couple in general - it probably wouldn't be a huge determining factor for me. 

SweetieBelle04

My DH was deployed while we were waiting, and it put everything on hold.  I'm sure every state and agency is different, but where we were both parents had to be physically present to take custody of the baby. Since our agency did mostly late-term matches, we waited until DH was home.  This is definitely something to discuss with your agency or attorney.  It was be so sad to connect with a birthmom and not be allowed to take the baby if the birth happened before DH was home.

As for the birth parents, DH being deployed obviously wasn't an issue, but we were open about him being in the military. We thought it could hurt us but wanted to be open about something that is such a big factor in our lives. DD's birth parents actully liked the fact that we are a military family, so you never know!