If you couldnt afford help and were gonna lose it what would you do?

amy1007

A tantrum throwing 34 month old and 2 15m olds that cry ALL day and want me to hold them. They barely nap. I seriously feel like im gonna have a nervous breakdown. We can hardly leave the house, i dont sleep and can barely get through the day. We cant afford help/daycare. What would you do?

Temp123197812503460

Where I live there are volunteers who will come watch your kids or help for free, can you check with a church or local social services group?

Otherwise I find getting outside helps everyone

AmyJoy728

I'm guessing you don't have any friends or family nearby. You could ask at a local high school for "mother's helpers". Can you and your husband take them to an indoor play area to expel some of the energy (our malls have them), or let them run around the back yard?

srbmvp

I agree, even if it's cold, bundle everyone up and head outside, even if it's just 15-20 minutes. The fresh air will really do EVERYONE good.

I find that if we stay cooped up in the house, I start feeling depressed and my toddler gets out of control. When in doubt, get out!

jquirke9881

On really bad days U put them all somewhere safe (RNP's for the twins and bedroom for DD1) and go in the bathroom and grabv a shower.  It really helps.  It's quick, only 10 minutes but it helps me refocus.

I also agree with getting out of the house.  It is so overwhelming but I do feel a lot more human just getting out.  Sometimes we don't even go anywhere, I just get them in the car and drive around for 30 minutes!

amy1007

Thanks ladies. The twins havent ever been real happy babies but i thought it would be better by now. I HAVE to find places for us to go that i can contain them all by myself. And no not much help at all from family, everyone works during the day. Its just so hard. I am really questioning my choice to be a sahm even if my entire check would have gone to daycare.

erinruns

If they aren't happy babies and they hardly nap at all, maybe they're sleep deprived?  There are short term fixes, long term fixes, and things to pull you out of a bad day.  I would concentrate on some long term fixes and see if you can't get everyone sleeping better.  Play around with nap times, white noise, lovies - but I'm guessing if they start sleeping more, they may also be happier babies.  

Temp123197812503460

Can you go back to work? Even part time?
I work partially because I know that if I didn't I would go crazy :

ougrad1

erinruns:

If they aren't happy babies and they hardly nap at all, maybe they're sleep deprived?  There are short term fixes, long term fixes, and things to pull you out of a bad day.  I would concentrate on some long term fixes and see if you can't get everyone sleeping better.  Play around with nap times, white noise, lovies - but I'm guessing if they start sleeping more, they may also be happier babies.  

This was my first thought.  It sounds like everyone is in need of some sleep.  

For the babies at 15 months, I had a light source of some kind in their crib and they always had one safe toy and two or three books to look at.   These items always put them to sleep in 30 minutes and tied them over in the morning for 30-45 minutes so, I could get dressed prior to getting them out of their cribs. 

macchiatto

erinruns:

If they aren't happy babies and they hardly nap at all, maybe they're sleep deprived?  There are short term fixes, long term fixes, and things to pull you out of a bad day.  I would concentrate on some long term fixes and see if you can't get everyone sleeping better.  Play around with nap times, white noise, lovies - but I'm guessing if they start sleeping more, they may also be happier babies.  

I agree with this. I'd read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child if you haven't yet; might help. Also, could you get a membership to the gym/Y? Getting to work out, shower, or even read if I want to for up to 2 hrs a day while the boys are in childcare is a major sanity saver for me as a SAHM!

jcath

I would definitely work on their sleep, you will be much more sane if all of you are sleeping better.

ITA with joining a gym with childcare.  I had a friend who joined the YMCA just so she could take her boys, drop them in the childcare, and go to the really  nice locker room and shower and get dressed, she never actually worked out

Could you afford paying a younger kid - like 10 or 11 a couple of dollars an hour to play with your older child in the afternoons?   

Do you have any churches in your area that offer a mother's morning out program? They will often offer reduced costs if you ask.

3 little ones is ALOT - you definitely need to find a way to get some help. 

MuseumMaven

I agree that the twins are probably sleepdeprived. I have two of the worst sleepers ever, so I definitely sympathize. It's so hard.

I agree that getting out of the house makes a huge difference. My guys usually nap better when we've been out in the morning.

MrsMommyQ

I'm not a MoM but wanted to jump in with a few suggestions.

Is the older one in school of any kind? It may be helpful to put her in some kind of program. My 2.5 year old gets bored so easily at home. We recently put her in preschool and see a HUGE difference in her cooperation. She also is learning to play better, which is great.

Do you have any SAHM friends? Maybe check out meetup.com or start a mom's group?

Are there any malls in the area that have free indoor play places? We have one near us and if it's really too cold to go outside, I take DD there.

I only have 1 kid and some days are so hard. Hang in there mama!