what an effing day

SimpleJane

XH and I have been getting along well, compromising well, making decisons together well. I was just thinking the other day how great things are right now.... Well, until today.

XH calls me at 8 am and says he has a work emergency and can I please come watch the kids for him. We normally don't do this, but his sister is OOT and his mom and dad got tied up and DS was sick and I wanted to see him anyway, so I said yes and went to hang out w them for a few hours.

DS and I curled up on the couch to watch tv and DD ran upstairs to grab a toy. A few min later I went to check on her and she was in her dads room. Not even a foot from her was a handgun, and two loaded clips. Not even a foot from where my baby was playing.

DS has said before that daddy has a loaded gun by their bed, DS sleeps in dads bed but that's a whole other post, but XH has always been quick to tell me no, all of his guns are in a locked safe in the basement. I always just believed him. I thought DS was exaggerating.

So, I take pictures, secure the gun, put it way up high in a closet and call XH. He tells me "The clip wasn't in it, it was beside it, and she couldn't chamber a round into a .44 , she's not strong enough. You aren't there to investigate my lifestyle. Calm down."

I was pisssssssed. It all makes sense. DS saying there is a gun beside the bed, the gun being there. My five year old has an unsecured handgun on the night stand next to the bed he sleeps in every night, and his dad doesn't see anything wrong with it. Wtf.

So XH parents get there to watch the kids, and at this point I'm so upset, but hiding it best I can from them and the kids. I leave and immediately call DHHS and file a child endangerment case, and they told me to file with the local PD too, so I did. What choice did I have? He was putting the kids in a dangerous situation and he didn't even care, and had no intentions of changing it.

So now he knows I reported him, is threatening to bring me back to court to reduce CS, and is saying things like "the gloves are off" "I'm going to make your life miserable" and "So much for us ever playing nice".

Ugh. I was hoping to be one of those happy blended family stories, where everyone has birthday parties together and nobody is mean.

+just+j+

You did the right thing and your ex is an idiot.  

"the gloves are off"?  Um. Yeah buddy.

Good for you handling it about as good as anyone can.

J&A2008

+just+j+:

You did the right thing and your ex is an idiot.  

"the gloves are off"?  Um. Yeah buddy.

Good for you handling it about as good as anyone can.

This.  What a wacko!  

guilletskichuk

+just+j+:

You did the right thing and your ex is an idiot.  

"the gloves are off"?  Um. Yeah buddy.

Good for you handling it about as good as anyone can.

Agreed.

Holly_1007

you did the right thing. there are ways to properly handle guns around kids. my dh has a few. one he uses for work. he works nights so there is also a gun in our room because i am hoime alone with 2 or sometimes 3 kids at night. the one in our room is high on a closet shelf in a locked case, unloaded and with the safety mechanism in place. the kids do not know it is there. 

your ex is an idiot. im happy you are taking steps to keep your kids safe. i hope he eventually sees reason and doesnt hold this over your head forever 

SimpleJane

auntie:

I probably would have called the police to verify the situation and get the weapon out of there, too.
I'm thinking this is ground for supervised visitation.

The police said since he legally owns all of his guns, and I had already secured the gun that was laying out, all they could do was take a report from me, speak with him, and forward all of the info to dhhs and the district attorney. They said that the DA will decide if he should be charged with child endangerment, and DHHS would investigate the home and see if visitation should be altered.

Ilumine

-auntie-:

I probably would have called the police to verify the situation and get the weapon out of there, too.

I'm thinking this is ground for supervised visitation.

I want to preface this with the fact that we are gun owners.  Our guns are safetly locked away with a biometric gun safe and the rounds are kept in another locked location.

With that, I can also whole heartedly say that this is a situaiton where the OP should contact her lawyer immediately to see what she can do legally.  PRE-EMPT her ashhole EX.

HOWEVER, unless there are state laws in regards to allowing handguns around children, taking the guns is not the right thing.

fellesferie

I think you did the right thing. It sounds like your XH was just angry and reacting emotionally. What an ass.

That's really awful. I'm so sorry.

We're also gun owners, but there's no way the kids could get to anything.  

Nineoceans

Sorry that's scary! Good thing you were there though maybe everything had to happen that way so you could protect your babies

twister22

You did the right thing. What BD did was irresponsible and dangerous. Don't beat yourself up over "making waves," because, thanks to you, you potentially saved your children's lives. BD should have his guns locked up. Talk to your lawyer a.s.a.p. and see what he/she thinks you should do.

Phantomgirl

twister22:

You did the right thing. What BD did was irresponsible and dangerous. Don't beat yourself up over "making waves," because, thanks to you, you potentially saved your children's lives. BD should have his guns locked up. Talk to your lawyer a.s.a.p. and see what he/she thinks you should do.

This

Hopeforthebest

Ilumine:

-auntie-:

I probably would have called the police to verify the situation and get the weapon out of there, too.

I'm thinking this is ground for supervised visitation.

I want to preface this with the fact that we are gun owners.  Our guns are safetly locked away with a biometric gun safe and the rounds are kept in another locked location.

With that, I can also whole heartedly say that this is a situaiton where the OP should contact her lawyer immediately to see what she can do legally.  PRE-EMPT her ashhole EX.

HOWEVER, unless there are state laws in regards to allowing handguns around children, taking the guns is not the right thing.

all THAT and especially the pre empting the EX. I take the "gloves off" "make your life miserable" as a real threat and so YEAH lawyer up !