Make up your flipping mind.

+just+j+

H thinks he'll be staying now.

Which is fine, but it's just ridiculous how he just changes his mind over night.

Our mutual friend "T" said that she thinks she's convinced him to stay and figure things out here for DD's sake. I told her little, but said that if he wants to be involved in DD's life, that would be the smart choice. If he moves, then it's his loss.

I'm at a point where I feel like I have to focus on my life and keep moving forward. Whether he moves or stays, my personal plans and my life with DD remains the same - consistent, solid, and positive.

While he wanders (or stumbles) thru his life, I need to stay rock solid for DD and not let his craziness affect me.

Holly_1007

is that the mutual friend he is sleeping with? or a different one? i really dont think he will ever figure his shiit out. you are right, you need to be the rock for dd. how is she handling everything btw? (sorry if you already updated on her, ive been in and out the past few weeks)

twister22

Your STBXH sounds like BD. He can't make up his mind. I just take anything BD says lightly and wait for things to actually happen before believing anything. "I'm moving out of my mom's house and into an apartment with a friend." I'll believe it when you've signed a lease. He still lives with his mom. "I'm joining the army as active duty in a month, on x/x/12." He changed his mind the day he was supposed to join. "I'm taking BM2 to court as soon as I save up $x,xxx." He bought a new car instead when he saved up that amount. "I'm taking BM2 to court this time." Sure you are.

Don't put weight into what STBXH says, and don't let his "decisions" bother you and get to you.  

+just+j+

DD is doing pretty good holly. Thank you for asking. She is clearly happier.

On one occassion she cried when H went to hang up. So H stayed on the phone and talked to her longer.  It's the only time I've seen her upset about him not being here or being missing from the picture.

The other night she wanted to find the moon. I couldn't find it, and said, maybe when we get home, it will be out.  She made a comment that maybe it was at daddy's house.  So she's clue-ing into the fact that we live seperately and daddy lives elsewhere.

Mom gave me the best advice and said that I should act like this is normal, and to never let her see my upset by H. That H living elsewhere and what he's doing is part of life and that it's not something to fuss over or get all drama filled over.

It's hard for me not to get worked up, but I'm trying to let things go.  Without all the high drama in my home, it's getting easier, but  I have to re-train myself a little.

This woman is someone that he met at the bar he works at.  I guess she's more nutso over him than he is of her. I think they are sleeping together, yes, but she has changed her profile from single to "It's complicated" and now to "in a relationship".  H changed his to single.   He asked me this past week how to change it because people are asking him why it says "married".  (rolling eyes)  Because you still ARE and you are still begging me to take you back.   Mine says "seperated".  But whatever.  I don't care. I went thru that emotion and I'm fine with it.  He is free to screw, date, manipulate, use whoever he wants. Good luck to all of you women out there that fall for his BS.  Hang on to your money is my only advice to you. 

Anyway....I'm making peace. It's a process. All I know is I am so much happier these days and I thank god every day for the peace that is finally in mine and DD's life.

Karma1969

I would be careful of mutual friends.