Blended Families

What do you think a judge would say?

BM had previously provided SD`s insurance until my husband graduated from college and was working full time. We have to pay for a family plan already for me and DS to be on the insurance and adding SD did not up the amount. BM wants DH to drop SD from his insurance and help pay her to cover SD. Makes no sense financially since we have to pay for a family plan no matter what. When we went to CS conference in Oct or Nov, DH told me they were both told to continue to cover SD until the hearing which is on the 14th. (CS conference was before the custody hearing) BM claims that never happened and continues to demand my husband drop SD off his insurance. Our lawyer said to keep her on it which DH would do anyway since he was told to at the conference. My question is BM right in thinking that a judge will make us drop SD off DH`s insurance when we need the family plan anyway (BM has no other children and is not married so she has no need for the family plan if SD is already covered.) or does it make more sense that they will most likely have BM drop coverage or just leave her double covered?
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Re: What do you think a judge would say?

  • Since Mom has always provided coverage and DH may be seen as less reliable since his coverage is new, she will likely be allowed to keep the coverage. (at least that is how it worked in our case)
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  • It could go either way. Generally Judges order whatever isn't going to cost more out of pocket. Plus, usually the NCP is required to provide health insurance if it is available to them. If switching insurance will cause SD to switch Drs, the Judge might order the BM maintain the insurance. I've also seen it done where both parents maintain insurance so that one plan supplements the other.
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  • I don't think a judge would make either party drop the insurance.

    This isn't necessarily just a matter of her being a pain in the ass. Well, partially it is. But I HATED it when XH covered DS. It was a HUGE pain to be the one always handling doctors visits and getting bills but not being able to get any information from the insurance company. 

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  • She has been on our insurance since June of last year. He graduated in June and is now working full time as a Systems Engineer.
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  • In some ways double coverage is better...for things like orthodontics and such. If that's a possibility, I'd go with that.
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  • imagejobalchak:
    It could go either way. Generally Judges order whatever isn't going to cost more out of pocket. Plus, usually the NCP is required to provide health insurance if it is available to them. If switching insurance will cause SD to switch Drs, the Judge might order the BM maintain the insurance. I've also seen it done where both parents maintain insurance so that one plan supplements the other.

    There is no custodial parent in our situation. It will not cause SD to switch doctors.

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • imagemom2one:
    In some ways double coverage is better...for things like orthodontics and such. If that's a possibility, I'd go with that.

    We have no problem with the double coverage in case God forbid SD were to ever get really sick or something major comes up and she should need it. 

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • DH has to cover SS but BM is allowed to cover him too. When they went back to court after BM had a baby she asked that she be the one to cover SS and DH pay her. She got nothing she asked for that day. Hopefully that judge sees it the most cost effective way and has your H to continue to carry SD.
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  • No. We both cover my SS for a similar reason. The judge would never order us to pay all they care about is that the child has coverage. The semantics of that don't matter
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  • Both my DH and SS' BM cover him. They use DH's insurance as the primary and then BM as the secondary, which basically has worked in our favor because between the two we haven't really had to pay an additional bills. I think in the last 3 years we have to pick up the difference between the two insurances just once. It's really beneficial (to our families) to have both parents cover SS.
  • Thanks for the insight ladies!
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • Do you think you could request to keep SD on the insurance, and say that if BM wants to keep SD on hers too that is fine with DH but you don't want to be responsible for paying for hers since you already hold it?
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  • That's a strange situation.

    It is in my divorce documents that by law, one of us has to carry insurance for DS. I knew that EXH is a dumb fluck and has never had insurance his entire life, pretty much, so I put it in writing that I would, and EXH is required to pay 20% of all medical bills.

    Is there a anything in the divorce documentation about health insurance/bills? I'm assuming that your DH pays child support? For us, if I wanted EXH to pay more for anything, I'd have to go back to my lawyer and ask him to submit a motion for additional child support and go from there. If the judge tells your H to drop SD from his insurance, then I think that would be a dumb decision, but I wouldn't have your H agree to pay ANYTHING until it's in writing.

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  • imagedande2129:

    That's a strange situation.

    It is in my divorce documents that by law, one of us has to carry insurance for DS. I knew that EXH is a dumb fluck and has never had insurance his entire life, pretty much, so I put it in writing that I would, and EXH is required to pay 20% of all medical bills.

    Is there a anything in the divorce documentation about health insurance/bills? I'm assuming that your DH pays child support? For us, if I wanted EXH to pay more for anything, I'd have to go back to my lawyer and ask him to submit a motion for additional child support and go from there. If the judge tells your H to drop SD from his insurance, then I think that would be a dumb decision, but I wouldn't have your H agree to pay ANYTHING until it's in writing.

    They were never married. They have only had CS conference so we have a temporary support order that should change since we now have 50/50. DH has paid support including 50 percent of her daycare since they broke up but there was no ruling.

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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