Has anyone had no success with adoption even after working with an agency?

Michelle3081

Has anyone had no success with adoption even after working with an agency?

CaptainSerious

I've seen a few posters who had difficulty passing a homestudy.  This is not because homestudies are difficult or something to be feared, but because there were some honest-to-goodness concerns or red flags about whether or not they were prepared to parent or could ensure a safe environment in which a child would grow up.

The most common cases are situations in which a couple isn't married/together very long and/or can't show financial stability and/or substantial income/savings to cover the expenses that a child would add.

Another poster not too long ago was having difficulties because both she and her husband had suffered sexual assault/abuse as minors, and could not show that they have appropriately addressed the incidents.  While having been the victim of abuse does not mean a person will abuse others, it is true that most abusers of children were first victims of similar abuse.  As such, it raised a red flag to the homestudy agency, and I think they may have stepped away from adoption as a course to growing their family.

Other than that, I've seen some families chose to stop their adoption journeys when they felt that they had waited too long/jumped through too many hoops for a domestic match or international process to work its way through to completion.  The best description of the adoption process I've heard is that it's a roller coaster, because honestly, one day you can be elated and the next feel as though you've been punched in the gut and the rug's been pulled out from under you and you have to start over from the beginning.  The most extreme examples are when a match falls through, an international program you've been working with shuts down before you can bring your child home, or children who have been in your home become reunified with their biological parent(s) (foster adoption).  The families that walk away from adoption without their child because of the difficulty of process itself (as opposed to someone/something actually forcing them stop) make up the largest portion of unsuccessful adoption attempts I've seen.

LadyEarlGrey

wickedsugar:

I'm sorry but I have looked through your past posts, I'm a little confused, a lot of what you post seems to be MUDdy or AE ish... Are you in the 2nd  tri or adopting  or what ?!?!

 Ditto, you have posted that you have a child, that you are having trouble TTC, that you are in the 2nd Tri, that people who have kids don't understand what it's like to not have kids ...

You also bring up a donor registry site a lot.