How do you find the motivation to stay "clean" and healthy?

miakrita

I've only been on the TTCAL train since my first CP in March 2012, but I'm already losing motivation to maintain my health. 

In Feb of 2012, in preparation for TTC, I weaned myself off my meds and coffee and alcohol.  After the CP, I "relapsed" for a month or two and then got "clean" again before getting pregnant a second time in June.  

Now I just don't seem to care anymore.  I'm on my meds again and drinking coffee (and sometimes alcohol) like there's no tomorrow.  I'm just pretty jaded at this point because, even though I was healthy before, my pregnancies weren't.   

I'm finding it hard to be motivated to stay healthy ... Anyone else with me?  If not, how do you find the motivation to stay healthy? 

jenn0021

I get what you are saying. With my last two pregnancies I was super careful to avoid bad things and do everything right and eat well and drink lots of water. I was determined to have a healthy pregnancy. Well that didn't work, twice. So I'm basically thinking that this next time I'm not going to make any extra efforts. I'm tyring to maintain a healthy lifestyle in general but I'm not perfect and that's okay. At least that's how I feel about it. Maybe someone else will be more helpful.

miakrita

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jenn.  Your response makes me feel not alone and a little less crazy. 

sammer818

I agree with Jenn. I did really well before my first and second pregnancies. Our third was a surprise BFP immediately after my d&c and I was drinking coffee and alcohol like a fiend...it still didn't work out, but I've found that I can get pregnant whether I'm being "good" or not. I, too am trying to lead a heathier lifestyle in general, but I don't beat myself up for going out to happy hour or having 3 cups of coffee if that's what I"m in the mood for. I'm in tune enough with my body (and I work in a lab ) to know pretty early if a BFP is coming and that's when I make the immediate switch to no alcohol, coffee, etc. I believe that's when it truly matters...not so much in the time leading up to a BFP.  

OttersBite

I completely get where you're coming from miakrita and the best thing I can tell you is to go easy on yourself if you need to right now.  I've done the same things in an effort to have a healthy pregnancy, hell I even stopped working out after my second m/c because some moron of a doctor ganged up on me with my husband about 'over doing it'.  A lot of good that did, I still had another m/c and I was going stir crazy from skipping the gym!

Try to pace yourself with these changes if you really feel like they would help you.  Take each day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you slip. 

FWIW, I'm finished trying to do everything right, it doesn't seem to work.  I work out because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good so I do recommend it purely for your own health, not just for TTC purposes.  When/if I get pg again, I'll stop drinking and switch to decaf but until then I'm not giving it a second thought.  

As for eating healthy, this is another thing that you should try to do just for yourself.  There are lots of delicious ways to incorporate veggies and fruits into your diet, in fact there was a great post about this a few months ago.  I'll see if I can find it!

LaTi07

Last year I decided to get healthy for me. Not for family planning. Not for any other reason than me. That's how I stayed focused on losing weight and lost 60 pounds. I've found that any time I try to work towards something and use TTCAL as my motivator, I fail miserably and that just makes me feel worse on top of the TTCAL stress. It felt good too to feel like I was doing something for no other reason than to make me a better person for myself.

Bayberry12

This is a really interesting topic. I know it's hard to find the motivation to make health decisions with so many temptations and easy quick foods.

Like many of you, once I would find out I was pregnant, I would cut caffeine and alcohol and try to eat healthy things. Well, 3 losses later I have felt like what is the point?! After extensive testing, and no known causes for my losses, I don't believe a dr can help me, so I am in the process of making some major changes in my life. I feel like if I don't do every thing I can to make sure I am as healthy as possible, I can't expect things to get better on their own.

To me, improving my overall well being, physically and emotionally, is something that I have control over when so many other things are out of my control.

LunaBug924

I definitely understand what you are saying, but I'm on the oppsosite side of this. When DH and first started TTC last April, I did a lot of things you are "supposed" to do to get your body ready. But I wasn't going to over-do it.  My philosophy has always been to take everything in moderation. The night we concieved (I'm pretty sure, even though I wasn't charting) we were on vacation with family and we had a lot to drink. During my 2WW, we had our annual pool party and I drank a decent amount. Then, I had my best friend's bridal shower, and I had a few glasses of wine. Once I got a BFP, of course I stopped everything. When I miscarried, I felt so guilty for not taking better care of myself during the 2WW. Whether or not it has anything to do with why I miscarried, I'll never know. But I do know that it made me feel like I wasn't taking control. This time around, I will do things "by the book". I don't know what the outcome will be, since I know many women here who did everything "right" and still had the same outcome. I think you just have to do what you think is right. Just make sure that whatever decision you make won't be something that you'll beat yourself up over later.

miakrita

Wow, thanks everybody.  Hearing your personal stories and struggles is truly helpful.  We will never know what caused our losses.  But reading all of your posts made me realize that my focus has been all wrong: it should be on me and how I feel and not on TTCAL (whatever that means).  Thanks for the tips and inspirations.  you all.

 ETA: LunaBug, I hope you're not beating yourself up?  Please don't