January 2012 Moms

Secretive Fiance... Thoughts Please!

Here's the deal...

I was checking my eBay feedback to make sure it was all positive. Then I thought to check fiance's feedback - he had really messed up a few years back and not paid for some stuff... then never used his account until recently. He's been selling old hunting &sports gear, and I've been working with him on how to do things properly.  It really was honestly just checking up to make sure he wasn't tarnishing his eBay reputation. But I guess some may call it snooping.

Anyways, when checking his profile for positive/negative counts, I noticed that he had within the last week purchased some stuff: elbow pads, knee pads, and military BDUs- coat and pants.  WTH?

FI is a navy vet. He has a ton of his old uniforms. Why is he buying this stuff?  The kicker... it cost over $100 for all the items. Where we are scraping pennies together to pay our bills trying to recover after both of us lost our jobs earlier this year. (I would love to have $100 to spend on random sh!t of my choice!!)

I asked him about it. He first questioned why I was looking at his profile. Fair enough, I would too. Then he told me it was none of my business, and was very offended, and that he couldn't talk about it at work - we were chatting on the phone over lunch.

Alright ladies... am I overreacting to this?  Maybe it's just all the recent violence lately... where people always say "I never thought he'd do something like this".. has me rethinking how much I trust anyone other than my babies.

Be honest with your thoughts!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Secretive Fiance... Thoughts Please!

  • My gut reaction is to go with your gut feeling on this one. If something doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't right. Are you concerned about what he bought? Or are you concerned that he spent money that you thought should be allocated to necessities?

    I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.

    Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com

    imageimage

    2010 Race PRs:

    5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29

  • imageBrit's Luna154:

    My gut reaction is to go with your gut feeling on this one. If something doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't right. Are you concerned about what he bought? Or are you concerned that he spent money that you thought should be allocated to necessities?

    I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.

    It's a combo of both. I'm weirded out by the military uniform.  What would he want with crap off of eBay when he has real navy issued uniforms?

    Let me clarify too, that we're not scraping by to pay minimums of bills, its that we have too much debt for my comfort that needs to get cleared out before we buy a house. A house is very important to me, as it's best for the kids and dog to be in a larger space than our apartment, and to have a place to safely play outside. So I'm hurt that he's not as committed to that for our family as I thought he was.

    I'm also resentful that he spent maybe $30 on me for Christmas (I spent probably $75 on him), but then 2 days after wards buys all this stuff for himself? He's not the selfish type at all.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • Let me add too, that my first concern was that someone hacked into his ebay account.

    But the items are too specific to him - blue digi camo for a navy vet.

    And then he confirmed he did buy the stuff.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • lp0lp0 member
    imageMama2TwoBoys:
    Maybe it's just all the recent violence lately... where people always say "I never thought he'd do something like this".. has me rethinking how much I trust anyone other than my babies.Be honest with your thoughts!


    This makes me nervous. Are you worried he might do something violent or are you upset he didn't tell you he spent money?
    image
    "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."

    BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
    My Ovulation Chart

    imageimage

  • imageLP0198:
    imageMama2TwoBoys:
    Maybe it's just all the recent violence lately... where people always say "I never thought he'd do something like this".. has me rethinking how much I trust anyone other than my babies.Be honest with your thoughts!
    This makes me nervous. Are you worried he might do something violent or are you upset he didn't tell you he spent money?

    I don't think he would do anything violent, but do the families of violent criminals know they are going to do what they do? That's why I'm just a little weirded out. 

    Now that I've had more time to think about it... (I didn't ask him about it last night, he was extremely distant and had a rough day at work)

    Either he's losing his mind and really thinks there will be a collapse of the economy and he will need camo uniforms... or are these things that guys would wear to like paintball? Or some other competative thing men do? (Can you tell I'm clueless?)

    Now his father passed away... I'm needing advice on how to handle it, and to vent in a post I'll write later... so I'm not going to bring it up for a while. To be solved another day, I guess.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • lp0lp0 member
    imageMama2TwoBoys:

    imageLP0198:
    imageMama2TwoBoys:
    Maybe it's just all the recent violence lately... where people always say "I never thought he'd do something like this".. has me rethinking how much I trust anyone other than my babies.Be honest with your thoughts!


    This makes me nervous. Are you worried he might do something violent or are you upset he didn't tell you he spent money?

    I don't think he would do anything violent, but do the families of violent criminals know they are going to do what they do? That's why I'm just a little weirded out. 

    Now that I've had more time to think about it... (I didn't ask him about it last night, he was extremely distant and had a rough day at work)

    Either he's losing his mind and really thinks there will be a collapse of the economy and he will need camo uniforms... or are these things that guys would wear to like paintball? Or some other competative thing men do? (Can you tell I'm clueless?)

    Now his father passed away... I'm needing advice on how to handle it, and to vent in a post I'll write later... so I'm not going to bring it up for a while. To be solved another day, I guess.



    I think you're right to be concerned. If it wasnt a possibility then it wouldnt have crossed your mind. Listen to your gut.
    image
    "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."

    BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
    My Ovulation Chart

    imageimage

  • Hi, I'm a January mom but haven't been on in awhile...

    if he ordered it, it has to get delivered soon, right?

    you could act really excited about it and ask what his plans are for it (re-sell it? New hobby collecting things?..). I would be really curious about why he got it. I'd be really concerned too though.

    Do you have any friends or family you can go to if things get uncomfortable? 

  • sort of worried after reading your post... is everything ok? did you get the matter settled???
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"