The last time we changed our CO and CS was in 2009 before DH and I had any kids together and DH adopted DS. BM agreed on around 2k less per year than CS calculator said in exchange for DH paying for some specific expenses and for some non standard things in the CO.
Shortly after this CO DH got a large pay cut but was still a few percentage points below what we needed to modify the CS so we didn't. Since then BM has gotten made at DH for unrelated things. She also doesn't work and has a money management problem.
She called DH pissy a few weeks ago and said she was going to modify CS this month. DH and I assumed we would be paying around the same that we are now but he met with our lawyer today to get an exact number to help us with budgeting this year.
It turns out that DH will be paying $400 less per month than he is now. BM is going to be pissed. The amusing part about this is that DH and I would have continued to pay $400 per month about the CS calculator if BM hadn't brought up changing CS.
Re: DH met with a lawyer today and I'm in shock (in a good way)
I know right? BM is either going to have to make some serious budget cuts or *gasp* get a job. She doesn't exactly work well with others so I don't see that going over well.
I read your OP and I swear I could have written it myself! Well, except the BM in my situation would never agree to less than guideline. Ever. In fact, she threw a fit about my husband getting credit for paying for K's health insurance and the credit counting against her CS each month. She also threw a fit about being inputted at full-time minimum wage, even though she wasn't working.
It's nice when the State finally seems to do right by the parents ordered to pay CS. Yes, the NCP should pay CS but the CP has the same financial responsibility to the child.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Our BMs sound similar. DH only pays $75 a month for our family insurance but BM threw a fit about him getting credit for that. She thinks that DH should remove them from his insurance so she can add them to the state insurance and get the $10 a month the DH gets credit for. She cried poor mouth and tried to explain why she needed that extra $10.
BM only agreed to less CS last time because she had been doing things like ignoring the CO and not letting DH see the kids. She also moved without the courts permission. DH was tired of lawyers and courts so she agreed to get less in exchange for DH letting some of that go and more forward as well as paying for things for the kids in addition to CS.
This happened to us.
DH closed his company back in 2010 but continued to pay BM out of his savings. Eventually he had to face the reality that things were not going to bounce back so he approached her about lowering CS. She went BSC! Eventually she agreed to a temporary decrease (she was advised to accept it by the court).
Towards the end of last year (Sept / Oct I can't remember) BM took DH to court to have it increased again. Ha, not only was it not increased it was actually HALVED from what he was then paying.
Ironically if she had left it alone DH had no intention of lowering it again.
BUT its now COrd at the lower amount.
The down side is BM is raging and very hard to deal with at the moment.
If she realises that it will be lowered will you guys have grounds to pursue to modification?
Yes we can. Our lawyer gave us 3 options to lower it. 1. CS enforcement which takes forever and hope they do it right which is unlikely. 2. Get BM to agree on a change through a mediator which would save us some legal fees. 3. Our lawyer petitions the court. It's the most expensive but will pay for itself in a few months.
DH called BM yesterday with the info from the lawyer to see what she wanted to do. She ignored him so we are moving forward with option 3.
The biggest factor that has changed is the kids ages and being in school all day. Min. wage going up a few days ago also really helps. BM doesn't work but we can imput min wage at full time for her income now. We could have done this last time as well but didn't because the kids weren't in school and DH would have also have to pay for full time daycare. It would have made CS much higher. I checked and the after school program in their district is cheap.
There are some other factors in all of this too and all of it is more than enough to qualify for a modification. BM can make things take longer if she doesn't respond to the court but she can't do anything to stop it.