Deciding on permanent birth control--- questions....

smiling76

I am so fed up with my birth control pill.  I was on it for many years and then had issues when I restarted it last year--so went off of it for about 9 months and now went on to a different one.  This is my 2nd month and I'm having spotting and HORRIBLE cramping.  To make matters worse, the day after we did the deed I missed the pill (although took it as soon as I remembered that day) and since then have had horrible cramping.  I'm super scared I'm pregnant.  Would figure--the first time we've had sex without condoms in years.  LOL. 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO starting to think that it's time for husband to get teh snip snip.  We don't plan on having additional kids---although I'd like another---it's tough having one that is special needs and I'm also going to be 37 in a couple months and honestly--TIRED.  

BUT I have this horrible feeling all the time---like what if something (God forbid) happened to one of my children---- would we WANT to have another????   I don't know why I feel this way--maybe because I've read so many stories like that???  The "smart" side of me says that I'd be older than I wanted to be and probably shouldn't have additional ones anyways. 

How did you make this decision????  

Which of you went permanent?   If it was him, how did the procedure go??  I don't know much about it. 

WestCoastMommy

We are 100% done with 2 kids so I made an appointment for DH to do the vasectomy class. He went and now we have 6 months to book the surgery or he has to take the class again at a latter date. After the class DH changed his tune a bit. Now he keeps reminding me that it's permanent and we're young (I'm 28 and he's 30) and who know what we will want in 3-4 years. I know I personally do NOT want more kids but if he is second guessing it I guess I will pop the pill for a couple more years to give him some more time lol

mylittlesunshine

What if you did something like the bc that is implanted in your arm (I can't think at the moment what that is called) or an IUD? That way, you don't have to worry about missing a pill and IF you two should decide to have one more, it isn't permanent for the time being.

DH and I are  undecided at this point if we will have one more and have tabled the discussion until a little later. If we decide at that time to table it again, I am going to look into something like the arm implant so I don't have to worry about bc and it is something we can reverse very easily if we change our minds.

meganandchase

I had my tubes tied because the last pregnancy resulted in a C-section.  If it had not, DH was going to  get a vasectomy.  We were sure we were done after 2.  I am also 36.  I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and don't think I can handle another one!!  If you aren't sure you don't want more kids, then I agree with PP.  Go for a different type of BC.  Have you tried Depo or the patch?  Both of those worked well for me after I had trouble with pills (like 10 day periods).  I will say that fear of losing a child is not really a good reason to have another.

I know several men who had vasectomies (I work with mostly men, and for some reason, they all talk about this).  They  all had it done on Friday, got babied by their wives over the weekend, and went to work on Monday.  If you are not already open for a C-section, it is a far simpler surgery for the man to have done than the woman. 

1026pumpkin

I think if you have any hesitation about your decision being permanent, you should wait to make that decision.  I had a Mirena put in after DS#1 and loved it!  I had spotting for a few weeks after it was first put in, but then I almost never got a period, and if I did, it was very light spotting.  No cramping, no crazy headaches or any of the other side effects I had back when I was on the pill and nothing to remember every day.  And I loved not having AF!

I had it removed at the end of August and have had regular periods since it was taken out.

Something to consider if you're not 100% on a permanent decision..... 

meg1974

If you aren't 100% sure, maybe you could try an IUD which lasts for 5 years, but you can get it removed before that. I've also heard that vasectomies are somewhat reversable. 

We are 100% sure we are done with kids, and I had a rcs with DD#2, so it made sense for me to have my tubes tied. I didn't have any problems with recovery. My periods are heavier now, but it isn't unbearable. To me, it's worth not having to deal with hormone pills.  

smiling76

1026pumpkin:

I think if you have any hesitation about your decision being permanent, you should wait to make that decision.  I had a Mirena put in after DS#1 and loved it!  I had spotting for a few weeks after it was first put in, but then I almost never got a period, and if I did, it was very light spotting.  No cramping, no crazy headaches or any of the other side effects I had back when I was on the pill and nothing to remember every day.  And I loved not having AF!

I had it removed at the end of August and have had regular periods since it was taken out.

Something to consider if you're not 100% on a permanent decision..... 

One thing I forgot to mention is even if he did get the vasectomy---I'd probably stay on the pill only because my periods are SOOOOOOOOOO irregular that I can go 4 wks, 5-6wks or 8 wks without a period.  I HATE not knowing.  So for me, it's worth it to take the pill....BUT it sucks when I forget and need backup for another week and dealing with the cramping/spotting, etc that results in yet another few more days without sex.  I know--I'm whining......LOL

For pp--I actually did have 2 c-sections already and I know FOR SURE that I would not get my tubes tied. IF we go permanent---it's all DH.  I've already told him that.....it's just a matter of when and should we.....

I suppose I could do Mirena AND the pill.....like a doubly knockout to the little swimmers I suppose.  LOL.  My doc will think I'm crazy for sure.

1026pumpkin

smiling76:

1026pumpkin:

I think if you have any hesitation about your decision being permanent, you should wait to make that decision.  I had a Mirena put in after DS#1 and loved it!  I had spotting for a few weeks after it was first put in, but then I almost never got a period, and if I did, it was very light spotting.  No cramping, no crazy headaches or any of the other side effects I had back when I was on the pill and nothing to remember every day.  And I loved not having AF!

I had it removed at the end of August and have had regular periods since it was taken out.

Something to consider if you're not 100% on a permanent decision..... 

Lol!  Well, I will say that the spotting I had on Mirena was always a surprise, but it was always just 2-3 days of very light spotting- nowhere near a full period.  I just made sure I always had some pantyliners in my purse and all was good.  If you do get Mirena, try it first without the pill and see how you like it....my doc said if we ever got nervous about being pregnant since periods would be reduced, to just pee on a stick.  My periods were really wonky without birth control too, but i LOVED being AF-free during Mirena. 

One thing I forgot to mention is even if he did get the vasectomy---I'd probably stay on the pill only because my periods are SOOOOOOOOOO irregular that I can go 4 wks, 5-6wks or 8 wks without a period.  I HATE not knowing.  So for me, it's worth it to take the pill....BUT it sucks when I forget and need backup for another week and dealing with the cramping/spotting, etc that results in yet another few more days without sex.  I know--I'm whining......LOL

For pp--I actually did have 2 c-sections already and I know FOR SURE that I would not get my tubes tied. IF we go permanent---it's all DH.  I've already told him that.....it's just a matter of when and should we.....

I suppose I could do Mirena AND the pill.....like a doubly knockout to the little swimmers I suppose.  LOL.  My doc will think I'm crazy for sure.

PunkyBooster

If you really aren't 100% sure, I would get an IUD. Mirena is good for 5 years and you can pull it out at any time. If 5 years comes and you haven't felt the urge, then you can just get another one and be done with it for another 5 years!

Lotsofloveandkids

If you're not sure I'd do a Iud like Mirena.

groovygrl

Ditto most of the others on trying an alternate method if you're both iffy, but also want to say that I have those same thoughts about something happening to one of my kids so you're not alone (or to me, to be honest & what if he met someone who wanted to have children, etc... isn't that terrible to think that way?) . MH is all for a vasectomy but I actually told him I didn't want him to do it until after 40 (we're also in our late 30s) and though I have zero zero interest in more kids, I don't want any regret about it.  So to the 28 yr old, I would advise waiting on that, personally but I know it is different for everyone.

mbgreenwalt

I thought I'd was sure about being done after DD2, but then there is always the "what if" in the back of my head so I won't do anything permanent anytime soon and I DH wouldn't get a vastectomy no matter what (big wuss!).

I had the Mirena placed after I had DD2. I really liked not dealing with the pill, but I had some adverse side effects and had it replaced with it with Paraguard. I'm very happy with the Paraguard. It is good for 10 years, I like being hormone free (my DH likes it too:)) and even though my period is heavier than with hormone control, it is not as bad as I thought it would be.

acaudill75

I was done after one kid, but my OB wouldn't even hear me on a tubal, and the hospital I delivered at is run by the Catholic Church, so it was a no go despite my c section. DH decided for us that we would have a second, and I put my foot down after she was born. I was not going to get opened up again, and we have excellent health insurance, so for one $10 copay, he was knocked out, snipped, and better two days later. He was a big baby during that time, because his "man bag" was all swollen (waaaa). I thought about what I would do if something happened to my girls, but having another child wouldn't replace them, and honestly, I wouldn't want to live without them anyway. In any event, it was much easier for him to get snipped, and will save us a TON of money in BC. FWIW, his urologist has never had a reversal in over 30 years, so I have no worries about having to take BC just in case. I'm extremely regular and only miss periods when I'm pregnant (I didn't really "miss" them then). IUDs are very expensive and my insurance didn't cover them.