Husband not understanding morning sickness...

starfishdance

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and have been nauseous 24/7 for 4 weeks now. I'm still working (I'm a server) 5-6 days a week, but it is getting really hard to force myself to go to work! My manager even asked me today if I'd like less shifts until I'm done being nauseous. I'd like to drop one day in my 5-6 day stretch, but money is tight and my hubby didn't seem to approve. He said its up to me, but he knows I can't afford it. Anyways, that is not my main concern. It is seriously a chore to even shower for work and make lunch...but he is getting very frustrated that I am not helping out as much around the house. Yes, I see the dirty dishes, but do I have the energy to do them? No. I'm so frustrated with myself... I hate that I feel sick all the time and I hate that all I want to do is lay down...but it definitely does not help to have a husband who is pissed that you aren't cleaning the house. It's like he thinks I'm faking it. I have only thrown up twice, which I am very thankful for...but maybe that's why (I think) he thinks I'm faking. He thinks I'm just being lazy.  

Has anyone else dealt with this?  

ELauren88

Sort of. I know DH doesn't think I'm faking - he's had to listen on the other side of paper thin walls during my 4 AM puke fests. But he has been getting a little annoyed as well. Yes, I know he works had, but I'm in the same boat you are. I'm a server/bartender, and work just makes me even more nauseous. He gives me a little side-eye every time I'm on the couch and he brings a load of laundry past, or he comes back in after taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher, changing the cat litter, etc. 

He understands, but I feel his patience fading quickly. Hoping for an energy boost/ms cure quick before this turns into a reluctant argument.  

nyki06

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I had Hyperemesis with both pregnancies (severe morning sickness) and couldn't do anything. With my first the doctors didn't take me seriously so no one really understood how bad it was, including my husband. Over time it got better and he was more helpful but everyone wrote it off as "normal" which was really frustrating. With this pregnancy it was really similar but they realized how severe it was and put me on home health care with a PICC line almost immediately. Getting IV fluids all day every day was a blessing in the way of keeping me hydrated but also in people taking me seriously and not expecting anything from me. 

You probably just need to sit down and be very direct with your husband. Explain that you're sick and that he needs to expect that you're not doing anything. If he had the stomach flu would you expect him to do anything? I highly doubt it. Overall you might just have to know what's best for you and do it, even if no one understands. They can't feel what it's like to be you.  

ilovetolaugh

First of all, quit being so hard on yourself. Your body is doing something amazing and that takes a lot of energy!

 

My husband has not acted in the way your husband has. You need to have a talk with your husband.  This sickness and tiredness will hopefully disappear for the second trimester and then may show back up for the third.   He needs to check his attitude if he is really pissed about you being sick/tired.  You're doing a lot of work that he can't see.  While it may suck for our Husbands to pick up our slack for a while, its part of life.  Be honest with him about how you are emotionally feeling about the way he is acting.

getaclue44

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. You definitely need to have a conversation with him. Thankfully my DH has been awesome. Whenever I apologize he likes to point out that he made me sick by knocking me up. Makes me giggle every time.

ilovetolaugh

Silv3rlining:

Last night in conversation with my husband about a friend of mine that is also pregnant I mentioned to him how she said "she felt hungover". So I proceeded to say, yeah it sort of feels like you're perpetually hungover. He totally understood and said "why can't more women explain it that way, y'all are bad at explaining how bad it really is." Hope that helps some.... My husband had some issues with me not feeling well early on, but we discussed them, and after he prayed about it, had others pray about it, and had a mother of 10 confront him, his attitude has changed drastically.

oh snap.

diane&tate2010

I will be 10 weeks on Monday & I am sick 24/7 aswell, I have had a UTI &  A sinus infection since i found out i am pregnant. I found out that i am loving milk and it does help me not to vomit in the mornings. I had to call my Dr. about the nausea and she prescribed me phenegran but it only takes a edge off, i still feel sick to my stomach all day. It seems for me the only time i feel good is when i am on the go like shopping it seems to take my mind off it, or asleep which i am loving lately. I am so lazy i dont clean, or cook so my husband is pretty frustrated with me too but i keep saying i will get better my 2nd trimester just stick it out with me...LOL! You are not alone i am right here with you. And wish us both better luck in the future!!! Come on 13 weeks

BelhurstBride

ColeRose:

Your husband sounds like a total d-bag.

 Seriously. It'll pass in the next month or so but until then? Your husband really needs to step it up.  

Whimsygirl24

Wow. I'm sorry, that sucks. I've taken time off work the last month and feel like I've been on bed rest for 5 weeks I've been so sick! My husband has been amazing, he brings me food in bed, goes to work, takes the kids to school in the morning when he gets home from work, cleans the house!!
I can't believe your working that much!! I don't know how you do it. What about getting some anti nauseas meds? That might help you alot of you can't get through to your husband.

Lotsofloveandkids

DH understands it, but he doesn't understand why I can't just forget about it and go back to eating things that make me queasy.

starfishdance

Oh my gosh, I told my mom what was going on, so she called him and had a long talk with him.... Very nicely though... And it's like a light turned on! He is completely different now! He is being so sweet and understanding! Ugh...what a relief!  

oh and I just got some nausea medicine the other day...and it's totally helping!

 

rainydayluck

Throw up on him. Seriously though, WTF is going to happen after the baby is born? Is he going to not help out and then get on your case about the dishes?

herecomesthesun

I'm glad he is listening finally, though it is not cool that he wouldn't even take his own wife's word. I hope he decides to start listening to you soon.

My husband has been great, though I know he is tired of me not being me. I get it because I'm tired of it too. However, he doesn't complain because he knows I wouldn't be a picky eater or lazy like this unless I really wasn't feeling well.

It IS like having a bad hangover.

jenniferurs

This thread is really making me appreciate my fiancé.

rockopera

This thread is a year old.

portentosa

rockopera said:

This thread is a year old.

This thread was brought back to life after a year by someone posting a huff post article they wrote.... suspicious much?

madfam0405

1) This proves how amazing my DH is. He thinks guys have it too easy and is completely considerate, helpful and empathetic to me and what I'm going through.

2) Has your DH ever been really hungover? Ask him how he'd feel to have that same floor spinning, nauseated, puking feeling for weeks on end.

3) WTH ... Why has this thread come back after a year?

haileyb87

ELauren88 said:

Sort of. I know DH doesn't think I'm faking - he's had to listen on the other side of paper thin walls during my 4 AM puke fests. But he has been getting a little annoyed as well. Yes, I know he works had, but I'm in the same boat you are. I'm a server/bartender, and work just makes me even more nauseous. He gives me a little side-eye every time I'm on the couch and he brings a load of laundry past, or he comes back in after taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher, changing the cat litter, etc. 

He understands, but I feel his patience fading quickly. Hoping for an energy boost/ms cure quick before this turns into a reluctant argument.  

All I can say is at least yours helps, mine uses my not doing his laundry as an excuse to not clean up after himself. There is a small part of me that wants him to get ecoli and pneumonia at the same time so he can get a better perception on what it really feels like.

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