I am kind of bummed.

lite-bright

The RSVP date for DD1's 5th birthday has passed. On one hand -- yay, she has 9 little friends coming (including df's DS )! 

On the downside, only two are girls. And only one girl is from her preschool class. None of the girls she's mentioned as friends, which disappoints me. 

I mentioned this to DH and he asked if I thought there was a reason -- I've gotten really positive feedback from teachers about her interactions in class, and the other girls have seemed happy to see her when I've been in the classroom. It's hard to say for sure. 

I'd like to blame it on bad timing, with it being immediately post-holiday and still during the winter break when families are likely to be heading up to the mountains on the weekends around here; preschool has been out since 12/21 and doesn't start up again until 1/9. We actually have more kids coming this year to her party this year than last. But I'm kind of afraid the lack of other girls is just the beginning, and that stings. 

I know she's going to have a great time, and all the kids will -- we're going to a gymnastics place, they'll have bounce houses set up, and I'm excited about how much fun it's going to be for her. 

If she was NT, I'd probably write it off to busy families, holiday break and her being a bit tomboyish. I might not even notice the gender disparity. But since she has ASD, it's hard not to wonder how much her social skills or lack thereof are in play. /

d.f

I'm sorry!  At B's party only 3 of the families were from preschool(and 13 of the 16 didn't respond at all).  He has only been invited to one preschool party this year.  I wonder about it too. I'm pretty sure he was excluded from a few parties last year but I don't know if it was more because there was a group of moms who were friends (have older kids in elementary together) and only their kids were invited to each others parties or if he was singled out for exclusion. Clearly I've thought way more about it than I probably should.

 It's hard.  Still I think you can be safe assuming at least most of them are due to the break. We were thinking about visiting my family out of state this week but decided against it.

((Hugs))

B is looking forward to it!  We went to WOW! last week and he remembered last years party :-)

malcivar

{{hugs}}

I've totally wimped out of the birthday party thing and have not attempted one yet.  I've always used the excuse that we really don't know other people with kids, other than this one couple who have a little boy 6 months younger than Chris but with him being in pre-school, I don't have that excuse.  I was going to do something for his third birthday - at the school but H. Sandy took care of that.  (his bday was 11/1) 

His social skills are just not there.  I can fool myself into believing the well meaning teachers but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure he has no classroom buddies, much less anyone we could invite to a party.  Having grown up with this kind of situation already (special needs twin sister), I've gone through the heartbreak and I just don't want to go through it anymore.  Maybe sometime down the line but not now.   

On a side note, like auntie said, it's infinitely harder with girls.  Chris's current class - all boys.  So when they're at play, they're running around and rough and tumbling and you can almost forget for a second that they're not just a group of NT boys running around a playground.  Girls - well we're just special aren't we?  

Good luck with your party!   

MirandaHobbes

Aw, I would try hard not to be bummed. I'm certain it's just the timing. I myself just declined an invite for a get together tonight; we're still reeling from the holidays. My son just went to a gymnatics birthday party and had a blast- so much so that we're going to sign him up for lessons. He didn't interact with the other kids, but it didn't seem to matter to him or the others. I can imagine it's harder with little girls. Last year we had 5 kids come to DS' bday party and I don't think I'll do that again for a long time! For DS, just one or two is plenty!

Good luck and have fun!

ridesbuttons

I'd just like to add that more =/= better.

Across the board(s) I do not understand the compulsion to have giant, kid-ridden parties for little kids, or kids of any age for that matter.  IMO, 1 kid per year/age is a decent rule of thumb.  I certainly don't remember ever having more than 6 kids attend a birthday party of mine at any age.

I'm not trying to belittle your feelings on the matter, of course they are valid.   

bumpuser511563

I read your post a few times before deciding on what to respond.

I am sorry, but I want to put a positive spin that 9 kids actually rsvp'ed regardless of gender. I am sure your DD will have fun anyway with those that show.

pastalady

I'm sure it is the scheduling/holiday issue but I understand. DD's party last year had two of my friend's kids and that was it. I am hoping with preschool starting next week we will have some little friends for her next party.

My goal is for her to have one friend. Just one I would happy with. I think we may move away from "friend" parties to more family celebrations, only time will tell.