How can I think about this in a better way?

thatoneredhead

Since LO has been sitting on his own, his play has become more independent. I love getting down and playing with him, but it is really nice that he can entertain himself while I get stuff done. 

Even though he ate with us and we "talked" the whole time, he was content to play with his new Christmas toys through our cooking, eating dinner, and a good while after before he reached for me. Im so happy he can enjoy himself, but I still struggle with feeling guilty Im not right with him. 

 I know rationally it's very healthy for him to be able to entertain himself, but it's a weird transition for me. I need some thoughts for my brain that dont make me feel guilty. 

LatteLady5

thatoneredhead:

Since LO has been sitting on his own, his play has become more independent. I love getting down and playing with him, but it is really nice that he can entertain himself while I get stuff done. 

Even though he ate with us and we "talked" the whole time, he was content to play with his new Christmas toys through our cooking, eating dinner, and a good while after before he reached for me. Im so happy he can enjoy himself, but I still struggle with feeling guilty Im not right with him. 

 I know rationally it's very healthy for him to be able to entertain himself, but it's a weird transition for me. I need some thoughts for my brain that dont make me feel guilty. 

It's totally healthy and awesome he can entertain himself. Just balance independent play with play time with mommy. Respond to him as you normally would and also recognize that by letting him play independently you are still meeting his needs. He needs to learn to play and explore and it's a good sign he's wanting to. It sounds like you're doing things right

RioG1978

I'm not sure what you're feeling guilty about?  These days I'm starting to feel guilty for being a bit smothering... my DD loves to play on her own and do her own thing, and sometimes I ask for hugs and snuggles when she clearly isn't interested... I don't want to be one of those moms!

neverblushed

It may help you to know what this type of play evolves into, as your child grows.

I have one child, DD, who has always craved adult interaction and been loath to entertain herself.  My son was willing to do his own thing from about the age he could sit unsupported.  If I sat him down in front of a tupperware container with a few spoons and blocks, he'd be content to pick them up, put them down, bang them around, rinse, repeat for about 45 minutes at a time, even when he was a baby.

At first it felt weird that I wasn't doing every little thing with him.  But, honestly, it was nice, too!  Over the years, his independent play has evolved in a way that I think is pretty positive.  Once he learned to talk, he would just sit near me, playing, and describe what he was doing.

For instance, at age 3, he would ask me to play with his cars and trucks with him.  My participation consisted of being down on the floor and listening, as he gave a running commentary about what the cars and trucks were up to that day.  I was still there, "playing" but the impetus came from him.

He has a rich imaginary life, and even at the ripe old age of 8, he will tell me what's happening with all the characters in his pretend world.  Now, his old stock of alter egos are influenced by his real life, and by books he reads and video games he plays.  The old imaginary friends visit Hogwarts and Camp Half-blood, they keep pokemon for pets.  They work out typical second grade problems like studying spelling words and practicing karate moves.

I am merely a sounding board for all this chatter, but it is created entirely by my son.  Pretty cool, actually!