putting a dog to sleep??

MaliaMouse

In the next year SO and I will most likely have to put down our rapidly aging dog. Any advice for explaining this to our 3.5 year old? Books? Thanks :

LoveEeyore

Our cat had lymphoma and from diagnosis we had 3 weeks until we had to put her down.  Immediately I began talking to the kids that she was very old and sick and was not going to get better.  I told them that cats don't live long like people and that she was going to die.

Harsh? Yeah.  But when it got closer to time, we would point out how she was skinny, that she didn't snuggle, that it was hard for her to move.  We would explain that she was weak and the tumor was making that happen.  When the day came, last week,  we brought the kids to her and said that she was going to the vet and not coming home because she was dying.  Each snuggled her and then DH took her in.  

I was prepared for questions and sadness, but it was several days later that they were counting the girls and boys in the house,.  The twins counted Zee and my oldest looked at me and said that Zee had died.  The twins were quiet and then resumed their count.  

My advice is pure honesty and preparation, but prepare yourself for less of a reaction than you're expecting.

Sorry to hear about your dog.  We have a furred and finned menagerie and each loss is sad but an opportunity to learn about life, death and remaining open to loving again. 

Asquared

I had it a bit easier as I had "joint-custody" of my dog w/ my mom.  So I just didn't say anything for several days- I was SO glad she didn't ask since I didn't want to break down telling her.  Finally a week or two later, she asked and I told her he was old and got sick and went blind and he went to heaven.  She was sad, but took it okay.

smilejenn

LoveEeyore:

Our cat had lymphoma and from diagnosis we had 3 weeks until we had to put her down.  Immediately I began talking to the kids that she was very old and sick and was not going to get better.  I told them that cats don't live long like people and that she was going to die.

Harsh? Yeah.  But when it got closer to time, we would point out how she was skinny, that she didn't snuggle, that it was hard for her to move.  We would explain that she was weak and the tumor was making that happen.  When the day came, last week,  we brought the kids to her and said that she was going to the vet and not coming home because she was dying.  Each snuggled her and then DH took her in.  

I was prepared for questions and sadness, but it was several days later that they were counting the girls and boys in the house,.  The twins counted Zee and my oldest looked at me and said that Zee had died.  The twins were quiet and then resumed their count.  

My advice is pure honesty and preparation, but prepare yourself for less of a reaction than you're expecting.

Sorry to hear about your dog.  We have a furred and finned menagerie and each loss is sad but an opportunity to learn about life, death and remaining open to loving again. 

 

Great suggestions here! I ditto everything. My oldest was 4 years old when our 7 year old golden retriever was diagnosed with cancer. We had to put her down a couple months later. Honestly, even though he is a sensitive child and was very attached to our dog, it wasn't nearly as difficult on him as we thought it would be. No tears. It's been a year now and he will still occasionally talk about her and say that he misses her, but that's about it. 

MaliaMouse

Thanks so much to everyone for sharing your personal stories. This will not be easy to go through when the time comes, and I deeply appreciate what you had to share.

Kadyra

We put down my 12 year old mutt in April. She had cancer. We told ds1, 2.5 at the time, she was sick and was going to go to heaven. He didn't get why dh and I cried. He asks about her every now and again and he participated when we buried her ashes. We didn't go into a lot of details. Felt like that'd confuse him.