Coming to terms with Likely RCS. Support Needed! {long post}

celiacmama

I have been a VBAC board lurker and occasional poster, but here I sit, 40w 4d and with a looming date of Friday for a RCS {originally scheduled as a back up/worse case scenario at 41w}...

I have spent the past few days in tears about it, I had been so enthusiastic about a VBAC and have had a healthy pregnancy. My first c section was at 39 weeks, scheduled, by an OB who said my baby was macrosomic and I likely had CPD. No trial of labor, this was all based on fundal height measurements and late 3rd trimester ultrasounds. So in hindsight, I should have read more, been an advocate for myself, etc. My DS was 8lbs 2oz.

As of my appointment Monday, I was still a fingertip dilated and cervix was long, hard and posterior. I have occasional contractions, never closer than 8 min, and they are apparently not actually doing anything. I had hoped for a membrane sweep on Monday but my cervix was not even reachable.

 I have one more appointment tomorrow, and have tried to remain positive but it's tough at this point! I don't want to look at the RCS as giving up or not trying all options, but I think maybe it's my body just trying to tell me what is right. And the risks of going beyond 41w in hopes of something doesn't seem prudent. I am most concerned about a healthy baby in my arms at the end of this! 

I guess I just am looking for reassurance from those who have gone with subsequent c sections. Sometimes on the VBAC board or elsewhere on the internet {women are so judgmental!!!!} people say to push the envelope, go to 42+ weeks, let your body decide the birthday not an OR schedule. Comments about wet lungs, blood clots, breastfeeding trouble, limiting family size... And I am letting it all get in my head! I need to be at peace with all of this, desperately.

Sorry for the LONG post! Yikes! I just need to vent.  

CaniacMom

I had a RCS almost 2 years ago for my second child.  My kids are 14 years apart so VBAC was an option but after discussion with my doctors (2 at my OB & 1 at my MFM) and my husband we decided a RCS was the better option for us.  My oldest was an emergency CS and it was in no way an optimal birth experience.  My RCS went so smoothly & my DS was born nice and healthy.  I have absolutely no regrets regarding my choice.  I do not feel like less of a woman becaues I chose this.

Be confident in your decision to go with a RCS.  It may not be exactly what you want but if it means your little one arrives nice and healthy it is worth it.

Mrs.Rose

I was SO set on a VBAC the second time around.  But serious complications with DS2 ended in an emergency RCS.  I would have loved to have a natural birth, but in the end, getting DS out was priority #1.  My perspective really shifted and I realized how lifesaving that surgery was for us.  I am not trying to diminish how you are feeling, because I remember being so bummed after my first experience and just how badly I wanted a VBAC.  But try to remember that there are medical reasons not to go too long - and the most important thing is a healthy baby.  If I were you, I would do all the (safe) labor inducing things I could and then just try to let it go.  If you end up with a RCS, the disappointment and mourning over the experience you wanted will fade (I swear!).  

And I will leave you with what my sister told me after I was so upset over my first CS - "It is vagina saving surgery."  I hope you can laugh at that!

Hang in there mama.   

JG362009

Oh, I'm so sorry!  I too wanted to have a VBAC for my second pregnancy but near the end we decided a RCS was the best option.  I had one at 39w6d and I can only describe it as lovely.  I'm glad I didn't have a VBAC because then I would have missed out on the amazing c-section I had.  It gave me perspective, too.  I can't imagine a vaginal delivery being worth the related risks of going late.  I hope you have an absolutely wonderful c-section.  FWIW, I've had two c-sections and neither of my kids have ever had a drop of formula, so you absolutely can successfully breastfeed.  I also had two really awesome recoveries. 

magdalina.h

A RCS isn't that bad at all. Lucas breastfeed just fine and the problems we did have were because of me, not the fact that he was a c/s baby. You aren't failing by having a rcs.

Cotton

Oh, I just came to peek at this board because I was feeling sorry for myself about my likely RCS in May. I dread it every day and cry most times when I think about it. So I feel compelled to respond to you...

I had 3 perfect vaginal deliveries, but baby #4 was measuring so much larger than the largest baby I'd pushed out that we all kinda freaked and scheduled the c/s a week before he was due. And while everything went fine with the c/s, no complications, breastfeeding success, etc, I just DO NOT WANT a c/s again.

Now I step back and read your story from my experienced pregnant mom standpoint and just have to tell you what I should be telling myself:

The repeat C/s will be just fine! The healthy baby is the most important thing. All you can do now is let go and try your best to make peace with the fact of it. Take some time to pray about it or meditate if it's more your thing. Lots of deep breaths. THere is an upside to the c/s and you'll figure out what it is in time. I'm already consoling myself with the fact that the hosp stay is sooo long and relaxing (compared to the circus that starts when the baby comes home). And the fear is only in your head, you're right. Look at your DS and remember that it really doesn't matter how your baby gets here! You've got a few more days to overcome the fear and just get excited to meet your baby!!

I hope this helps you. I hope I can take my own advice in time and stop being so sad about it. I delivered my 3rd baby without pain meds and I'm being a total baby about the c/s  

(just if you were wondering, my first two babies each weighed 9lbs 11oz, third was 10lbs. baby #4 was measuring around 10lbs 6oz and ended up weighing 10lb 14oz! For me to avoid rcs this time I have to go into labor on my own and have a baby measuring smaller than 10lbs!)

newly_naugler

I had a RCS 3 weeks ago. I too was very upset when I was told that I couldn't attempt a VBAC. I had vertical tears in my uterus from DS being so far down in my pelvis. They thought it would be too high risk for a uterine rupture. I found this out at about 20 weeks, so I had some time to come to terms with it. The way I had to look at it was that it was the safest way for LO, even though it wasn't my desired way.

I don't really have any great advice, but I understand exactly where your coming from. I did ask for delayed cord clamping and skin to skin asap. It made me feel a little more involved.

MommyMelDay

My 2nd C-Section is scheduled for the first week of February.  The birth of my first child was an emergency C-Section and extremely traumatic for everyone involved.  She has Cystic Fibrosis (which we did not know before birth) and was born mechonium illius (rupture in the small intestine causing mechonium to fill her body cavity).  If I had been stubborn and tried to have her naturally, we would have lost her.  

I had so many nurses / docs / moms ask me about how I felt about not being able to have her naturally or breast feed her (complicated nutritional reasons) like I was supposed to feel bad about it and my response was always, "This is for the health and well being of my child.  What about doing what is best for her makes me less of or a defective mom?"  

More power to the woman whose bodies allow them to do amazing things with VBACs and breast feeding and other things, but I think that it's terrible that woman who can't do those things are made to feel like they aren't as much of a mother as the others.  You created this baby.  You cared for yourself in order to care for him / her while you carried them.  You're going to give birth to this baby in the best and and safest way that your doctor believes.  You're putting your baby before yourself.  What's more "mom" than that?

Good luck  

JPafford86

I've had two CS and will be going for my third and possibly final one in May. With

DD1 I was induced and she got stuck so we went in for the CS when her heartrate was over 215 (normal is 140-180)

DD2 we didn't even attempt anything and had the CS at 39W 4D. We did it for a couple of reasons but the main one being that my scar from DD1 was very ragged so we didn't feel it was as strong as it should have been. I am and always have been very okay with this CS.

DD3 I looked into a VBAC but only some midwives 1.5 hours away were willing to allow me a TOL and DH wasn't comfortable with that far of a drive. So we're going in for the CS. We haven't decided whether or not she will be our last baby but depending on what they say in the OR we might have that decided for us... especially since there will be just 18 months between DD2 and DD3. 

Edited to add: DD1 and DD2 both breastfed for over 13 months and never had any formula. Just do what you can and know that it's the best thing that's ever happened to you since it was the day you met your baby