Toddler squirted creamer at restaurant

amalloy1

Just curious to know what the proper etiquette is when something like this happens. Our DD (26 months old) was playing with the sugar packets and ONE creamer while we were out for lunch today. We were watching her but for a few seconds while DH & I were talking to his cousin, DD put the creamer into her mouth, bit it, & cream squirted out onto a 20-something woman at the next table. SWe apologized profusely but she was not amused AT ALL. I'm not kidding when I say only 1/3 squirted out of the little creamer cup, but it got on the side of her face & on her sweater, & a little on her purse.  She & her significant other were with another couple and not one of them even acknowledged us....they were totally honed in on finding every drop of cream on the woman.  We apologized again & I offered her money, & then asked our daughter to apologize, which made our daughter cry because the table of 4 were SO uptight about it!  I do feel bad that we let it happen, but WTF....we were at a Chicago restaurant for brunch, not the 4 Seasons, & it wasn't like red wine was spilled on a white sweater.

What would you have done?  I actually left the restaurant feeling a little angry that they were so rude about something like that, especially because it was obvious it wasn't intentional & our DD really had been so good for the whole time we were there. In hind sight, I know we probably should have taken the creamer from her right away.

Tell me your honest thoughts...& how do you make amends when something like that happens. Is offfering $ the proper way to say sorry?

KateLouise

I think how you responded was fine.

They were rude. I remember being an uptight 20yr old, so I kinda shrug when I run into them now. When you don't have kids, it's hard to understand how a kid behaving well for a period of time in a restaurant is pretty awesome, and that something simple can happen so quickly.

I would only offer money if I thought something was ruined. 

amalloy1

Thanks~it's helpful to hear from other Moms!! 

MMMiller

LOL as much as I remember being a pain in the butt when I was twenty, I always loved kids and I am pretty sure I would have laughed this off.  I think an apology alone was enough.  I too would only offer money if something was damaged beyond repair.  Consider it a lesson learned, and I'm sure you'll be laughing about it sooner than later.

MammaBear81

I'd learn from this outing and not give your DD another creamer to play with while you are out.  Yes it was an accident, but it's not like she isn't allowed to be annoyed because you said sorry.  Would I have been annoyed? No, but not everyone is "kid friendly" and I try to remember that when I'm out in public with my kids.  I think your reaction was a little over the top, a simple "I'm sorry" and an offer to pay (if you ruined her shirt or something) was fine, then turn around and go on with your meal.  You never know who you are going to sit next to, and no amount of apologizing would have made this situation any better.

RondackHiker

If this happened to my friend's DH we'd have ignored you too and been frantically cleaning him off. He is very allergic to dairy products. Like, severe rashes, throat tightening, needs meds allergic.

And I agree, she may have been trying to ignore it and move on. What response did you want from her?

amalloy1

I appreciate your responses, & certainly don't intend to dwell on this at all. . I had never been in that type of situation with our daughter before so that's why I put it out there~~just to hear what other Moms would have done since this is a semi-anonymous forum..

As far as wanting a response from her goes, I can't help that it made me a little upset on a basic human level that our apology was completely ignored by them. I appreciate that she was out to enjoy lunch with her friends (they were all very sophisticated-looking, in their late 20s, everyone healthy)  & that she could have had a variety of possible life situations that she was dealing with this week, but I can't help that her cold reaction bothered me. & she wasn't allergic to the cream...it was her purse (which had been on the floor) that she was focusing on. I try to put myself in her shoes, & knowing it was an accident, I was just surprised by the reaction. Plus, how does she know that I wasn't out trying to have a nice time after going through some stressful life situations of my own this week. I guess it's unsettling to me that people can be so uptight, especially in the laid back, happy atmosphere we were in.  & yes, again, I know that we should have taken the cream away from DD!  That's all~Happy New Year!

acaudill75

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I would have reacted the same way you did. I wouldn't have been very embarassed, but I would have made a "big" deal and tried to offer to help clean, etc. I don't think I would go so far as to pay for their meal, because I have college tuitions I'm paying for right now. What you and I would have found groan worthy and somewhat comical, other people who are not as laid back due to age, cultural difference, etc., will find annoying. I would have been initially annoyed at her coldness, and then would have shrugged it off. Next time, no creamer for the squirter, and remember, you will never see these people again, so who cares what they think??? Her purse was obviously more important than making eye contact, so let it go.

AimeeL85

With DS I've started to learn that sometimes things are going to happen in public that you just have to let go because 1) they couldn't be foreseen, 2) you can't change what happened, 3) there was really no one appropriate way to handle it and 4) you'll never see those people again.

I am like you and sometimes replay things in my head, worry what people must have thought etc. But at the end of the day toddlers are going to throw curveballs at us and we just need to handle them the best we can at the time and then move on. I also think "will this still bother me a year from now?" and I know the answer is "no" so might as well let it go sooner!

meg1974

We get strange looks in restaurants all the time, and our kids don't do anything abnormal or unusual. We stick to restaurants that are loud and kid-friendly, and we watch them as much as we can, but we still get looks. 

Some people just don't like kids and will be put out no matter what happens. I think an apology is all that you could have done. I wouldn't worry too much about it. 

amalloy1

Thanks so much...I love reading the responses!   I'm certainly letting this go but your comments have been very helpful because it really was a stressful situation for ME, even though I really am a laid back, easy going personl.  It's true I will never see that chic 4-some again, but if my husband and I are put in a similar situation in the future, I will do better.  I just feel so bad that DD got the negative vibe & was crying because they didn't acknowledge her stuttered apology. OMG it totally makes me tear up!    I know not everyone loves kids...but I think even the biggest scrooge would have at least acknowledged our DD in this situation.

Thanks again for your responses.  I love this forum for sharing my real experiences & feelings without worrying too much about being judged/criticized.....

diana.filipi

I would never have offered her money. 

I would have apologized profusely as you did but that's all I would have done.  They were uptight but whatever, that was the way they were being.   Maybe it was her brand new Coach bag that cost over $300.  It doesn't matter.  She didn't need to give you a cheerful "oh, it's okay".