Help questions, foster to adopt 1st meeting!

HopefulHalley10

So I know I haven't posted in well... ages.

Mostly I haven't posted because at first I was sad thinking we wouldn't be able to adopt for ages, then nervous that I was going to jinx things and now I'm just plain nervous!

Long story short DH and I thought we'd move forward with foster to adopt and if nothing happened in a year we would move forward with domestic adoption. It was shortly after this decision in June that I was looking around on adoptuskids and there he was, a little 2 year old boy and he second I saw him I thought... that's him, that's our son. That same day we started working towards adopting him... which was hard considering we weren't home studied or licensed in any way. Even though I'd had twice weekly communication with his caseworker for three months and she knew we were submitting our completed homestudy to her the next day; they out of the blue chose another family. 3 weeks later during which we'd been moping around the house; we got the call that the family didn't work out, and they wanted us. We resubmitted our homestudy, had our phone conference (he's in a different state), got approval from 4 different caseworkers involved and got our post placement purchase of service approved (this took the longest amount of time) and then less then a week before Christmas we got the email that we were finally ready for the last step.  We are traveling from NY to FL to meet our guy for the first time. Apparently after this meeting we can finally be considered a match and know that we officially move forward.

Now that I'm done with that! Anyone have any idea what to expect from this visit? This is apparently where the other family changed their mind or the state changed their mind about them.  We really don't want to blow it and we have no idea what to expect. We are moving forward with the feeling that this is meant to be and that being ourselves will be enough but help! I'm also just terrified after working over six months to be this boy's mom that I'll burst into tears of joy the second I see him. Any thoughts are appreciated!

*** It may also be important to note that he is visually impaired and will have had eye surgery only two - three days before we see him ***

DaisyZH

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say that is an amazing story, I'm so glad it all worked out!  This gives me a lot of hope, please keep us updated!

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Foster1Mom

I would ask about a file on him and his past. I would also be asking why the other family backed out. Also, Can you speak with his current foster family to learn any behaviors. These kids have a past and you want to know what you are getting into. I would be curious why the foster family didnt want to adopt. 

HopefulHalley10

Foster1Mom:

I would ask about a file on him and his past. I would also be asking why the other family backed out. Also, Can you speak with his current foster family to learn any behaviors. These kids have a past and you want to know what you are getting into. I would be curious why the foster family didnt want to adopt.nbsp;

Yes, we're way past that. We know his whole history and what his behaviors are like. We've parented about 15 foster kids before so that aspect isn't new.We've just never had this first adoptive experience. His current foster family isn't able to adopt him because they are much older and feel they are done building their family at 7 children. Also I asked about why the other family wasnt chosen or changed their mind and apparently they aren't allowed to release that.

HopefulHalley10

fredalina:

Good luck! Please let us know how the visit goes. I think just be yourselves, maybe bring some things for him to play with something musical perhaps, and simple like a jack in the box to engage him, and show that you understand the difficulties in raising a visually impaired child.

Thank you! Good idea on something musical... we were planning on bring a toy but weren't sure what and I like that idea.

Foster1Mom

HopefulHalley10:

Foster1Mom:

I would ask about a file on him and his past. I would also be asking why the other family backed out. Also, Can you speak with his current foster family to learn any behaviors. These kids have a past and you want to know what you are getting into. I would be curious why the foster family didnt want to adopt.nbsp;

Yes, we're way past that. We know his whole history and what his behaviors are like. We've parented about 15 foster kids before so that aspect isn't new.We've just never had this first adoptive experience. His current foster family isn't able to adopt him because they are much older and feel they are done building their family at 7 children. Also I asked about why the other family wasnt chosen or changed their mind and apparently they aren't allowed to release that.

 

Oh good you are not new to fostering. I was scared you were and didn't want you to be blind sided. 

elissaann26

Foster1Mom:

HopefulHalley10:

Foster1Mom:

I would ask about a file on him and his past. I would also be asking why the other family backed out. Also, Can you speak with his current foster family to learn any behaviors. These kids have a past and you want to know what you are getting into. I would be curious why the foster family didnt want to adopt.nbsp;

Yes, we're way past that. We know his whole history and what his behaviors are like. We've parented about 15 foster kids before so that aspect isn't new.We've just never had this first adoptive experience. His current foster family isn't able to adopt him because they are much older and feel they are done building their family at 7 children. Also I asked about why the other family wasnt chosen or changed their mind and apparently they aren't allowed to release that.

Oh good you are not new to fostering. I was scared you were and didn't want you to be blind sided.  

Foster1Mom was reading my mind!  I say just be yourself and enjoy your time with him!