Embryo donation (long)

hayleydeee

Hi everyone! I'm new to this board, and I don't know if this is an appropriate question, so please tell me if its not.

After a successful round of IVF we're starting to consider the options for our frosties. I'm curious to hear from anyone who has experience with embryo donation (as a donor, a receiver, or even if you just know a lot about it).  

I have such mixed feelings about it, because it seems kind of like a cross between an adoption and a tissue or organ donation. I'm curious about the logistics and the emotions involved.

How did you feel about it? Did you chose the donor/ recipient? As a donor would you feel a responsibility to choose good parents? Do donors/ recipients stay in touch? Or would you feel better being anonymous?  Are there more donors or more recipients waiting to be matched? Is the wait long?

Plus, for me the idea brings up all kinds of ethical questions (for example: if life begins at conception, or if these are simply tissues and cells). I mean, if I had 18 frozen kidneys and I knew there were people out there who needed them I would give them away in a heartbeat... but this is more of a grey area. What are your thoughts?

When we were considering IVF, and going through it I didn't give much thought to what we would do if there were embryos left. Just getting pregnant was the main focus! Now I'm feeling a bit lost. 

Thank you for your feedback! 

 

 

TJ1979

I don't have any experience in this matter.  But after 3 years of IF and so many days of wondering if it was all over for me and thinking I would never get to have a baby, I want to say that I think embryo donation is an amazing gift.  Those are all a lot of really valid questions though.  So make sure you think it through and are both comfortable with the decision.  I applaud you considering such a wonderful thing, and I hope it works out for you.  GL with your decision.

IBackBevo

When I first got my diagnosis (DOR) and was given such poor odds, I started looking at snowflake babies and I think I would have considered it if we had not gotten pregnant on our own.  If my DH and I ever end up having to do IVF (to conceive #2) and we had extra embryos, I would donate/give them up for adoption without hesitation.  I know there is a lady on the IF board with DOR who just adopted some snowflake babies and is OVER THE MOON.  I think this is an amazing gift to give some. 

As for contact, I would think the adoptive parents would at least want your contact parents (and you theirs) for medical reasons since your child would be their child's biological sibling (assuming the FET worked) and vice versa...Just my thought...

hayleydeee

Thanks for the feedback! Please keep it coming, if anyone else wants to share. 

blansaw

It is such a wonderful gift, but I understand where you are coming from.  When DH and I were going through IVF I had thoughts of donating our frosties. DH wasn't as open to the idea though.  He kept thinking that someone else would have our child. If you do decide to donate remember that the parents are probably just like you.  Someone who will go to any length to have a strong family.  In the end we didn't have enough eggs to donate so we didn't have the decision to make, but I wish you luck on your journey.