So much doubt and fear.. — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

So much doubt and fear..

I am sure I'm not alone in this. But I'm finding that I have so much fear and doubt in this pregnancy. My first loss was a blighted ovum. At the first ultrasound, there was nothing but an empty sac. I just admitted to myself that I don't truly believe I will see anything different at our first ultrasound this time. 17 days until that ultrasound. I just think it'll be the same thing again and I don't know how to handle that. DH is completely unsupportive. I feel like I'm going through this all alone. And I'm certainly dealing with these fears all alone.

Thanks for the vent...I just don't know how to be happy and sure of this one.
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BFP #1 8/25/12 EDD 4/28/13 Blighted Ovum, D&C 9/20/12 at 8w6d. I'll always remember the first one. My baby Grace. BFP #2 12/26/12 EDD 9/4/13. DS born 9/7/13. My sweet rainbow.

Re: So much doubt and fear..

  • I'm in the same boat with the fear and doubt anyways. I just take it one day at a time. That first us is the LONGEST wait ever. Hang in there.
    BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm sorry you are going through this but I can assure you that you are not alone.

    With my first pregnancy I had a missed m/c with the baby stopping growing around 9w2d. Nonetheless, I was convinced that this pregnancy would end up being a blighted ovum. (Actually, I've been completely convinced at every stage that the bad thing for that stage will/would happen to me.) I mean, I was pretty much 100% convinced. I was shaking like a leaf while that u/s started and burst into tears when our baby showed up on screen with a hb. My husband didn't really know how to handle all of my fears and was really upset at me when I told him that I was pretty sure that something bad had happened to the baby. He felt the strong need to be confident and didn't want to encourage me in any way in my fear (even if I felt it would just be supportive).

    PgAL brain sucks. For me it has improved dramatically over time though I'd be lying if I said I felt no fear at 19.5 weeks. I no longer expect to feel no fear. I try to remember every day, "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

    I will be thinking of you as you approach your u/s. 

    BFP#1 11/25/11 EDD 08/09/12 MMC 01/30/12 D&C 02/01/12
    BFP#2 09/11/12 beta1=72 @13dpo beta2=160 @14dpo beta3=over 6000 @24dpo U/S @7w2dd hb=146bpm U/S @8w5d hb=159bpm U/S @12w hb=164bpm
    EDD 05/20/13
    My Ovulation Chart
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  • It really is scary, especially at first but it should get better.  There are always fears of things going wrong but I can honestly say each milestone that I passed made me more confident that one day this baby will come home with me. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • Big *hugs*. You're not alone in your fears at all.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#1 - 11/13/11, Natural MC - 12/24/11 at 12 weeks
    BFP#2 - 10/2/12, Please be our rainbow.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I had the same experience blighted ovum and I was a little nervous still have moments sometimes but I lean on my faith. I am Christian and meditating on Phillipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God helps me stay calm. Instead of worrying I have put it in God's hands and thank him for each moment I have with this baby. Hearing the heartbeat during my first U/S was awesome! I will pray you will have some peace and have a great U/S!
    ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    imageimage
     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You're not alone. Sometimes I feel great and then later in the day I'm freaking out inside. I keep telling myself I'll feel better once I get an u/s, but that's probably not true.

    I also had a blighted ovum and am so worried that the same thing will happen again.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


  • I was so nervous going into the first ultrasound.  I was absolutely convinced that there was going to be nothing there, just like the first time.  What helped me handle the anxiety was reminding myself that even if the very worst happened, it would be awful and I would cry for weeks, but ultimately I am a strong person and I would be able to get through it.  

    Also, the ladies on this board are AWESOME and everyone understands what you're going through.  I've found this board to be a great source of reassurance and comfort.  Hang in there!

    ~ BFP #1: 10/6/12, CP 10/18/12 @ 5w0d. ~
    ~ BFP #2: 11/13/12. EDD 7/25/13. ~
    ~ It's a BOY! Grow little guy, grow! ~ BabyFruit Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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