What do you do for "discipline"? *long*

JennaNAaron

I've started reading a lot of books/info, but I thought I'd go to the actual moms. 

I posted before about LO's tantrums.  He's a foster child, so we didn't have him for the first 13 months of his life.  We don't have a lot of insight into what went on in his life before that.  Plus he's approaching the terrible twos.

He's gotten pretty rough lately (pushing, head butting, and worst of all throwing everything).   Daycare has mentioned it occasionally, but not a ton. He does it at home though to DH and I and has started occasionally throwing things at his sister (twice today), and head butting her.  She's pretty tiny and it can be scary.

When I picked him up from the church nursery today one of the volunteers said "ok, well he had to go to timeout several times today for tackling other kids and throwing things."  I was a little taken back because 1. we'd just walked through the door 2. there were a bunch of other parents around 3. she had nothing nice to say.  I know I got more upset (on the inside) then I should have, but now I'm really worried that we aren't doing enough.

We've started doing timeouts, but he thinks they are funny or won't stay in his timeout spot.   We also explain to him about nice touches and make sure to tell him what behavior was wrong.  I also try to ignore things that aren't major i.e. tantrums (which seem to have gotten less frequent).  What do you guys do?  What can we do differently?  He sounds like a normal (although spirited) toddler, right?  The lady at church has me second guessing myself.

jllmb79

No advise on correcting the behavior but it sounds normal.

Mountaineers

I think it is all about staying consistant in what you choose. I do the timeout thing or redirect depending on what the problem is. My son doesnt have any idea on what the timeout thing means yet but he thinks its funny too. I dont laugh even though its hard to keep a straight face sometimes. I think smacking hands and all that is worthless bc you are trying to teach them not to hit by hitting. Not saying thats what you do. It all sounds normal I think I would be more concerned with the lady announcing your buisness in front of everyone. Maybe she has some ideas for you seeing how vocal she is.

chardonnay24

Sounds normal to me.

My little guy just starting getting aggressive and he'll be 2 in a month. He hits or throws a toy when he disagrees with us at all. I think it's his way of expressing himself. I can count on one hand the number of times he's thrown a tantrum, but he hits all.the.time. When we are at home, we have a zero tolerance policy. He gets a timeout every time he hits, bites, throws a toy, or is aggressive in any way. When we are out, he sometimes has a tendency to forget himself. I give him one warning and then remove him from the activity (if he is playing) or timeout (if we are at a place we cannot leave). We talk about how it hurts, emphasize being nice and gentle, and praise him a lot when he makes good choices.

ETA: My kiddo also sometimes laughs during timeouts and he definitely doesn't stay in one spot. I sit there with him for the full minute to make sure he doesn't move and keep my serious face on. It was hard in the beginning not to laugh with him but at this point, I'm so fed up by his behavior that there's really nothing funny in the situation and I don't have to try to look stern.

LatteLady5

While the behavior is normal and age appropriate it does need to be corrected. Stay consistent and make sure you totally pour on the positive praise when he does the right thing. I literally clap and say "yay" for DD when she hands something to me, puts something down, does as I prompt her etc. I also work with kids in the church nursery and toddler group and most of them are very sticker motivated. 

It was totally inappropriate for the nursery worker to address you like that. I would speak with your nursery director. Maybe she has not been trained in the proper way to address parents. You have every right to be upset and I would absolutely say something to whoever is above her.