Self Soothing: can I help him learn?

DottyBlue

This may be a question primarily for STMs but I am open to all input.

My DS absolutely can not soothe himself. Like not even a little bit. I realize that to an extent this is normal for his age, 11 weeks, but it's really frustrating. I am worried that we are going to have to go full on CIO once he hits 6 months and I would like to try and avoid that if at all possible. I can't put him in his crib even a bit awake or he wakes up fully and screams until I pick him up and rock him to sleep.

Is there anything I can do to help him learn to soothe himself? Or am I just doomed for CIO in 3 months?

Mrs.G123

Not everyone chooses to CIO, btw. It's not something you have to do at all.

blondie42107

Give your baby time.

We never CIO with ds1 and won't for ds2.

It may seem hard now but before you know it they are one and you blink and they're turning two and you will probably forget about this.

Sarelnad

meganole25:

Your LO is still really young. All of this comes with time. You can not spoil a baby. You're just going to have to wait it out.

I agree that you can't spoil a baby. I'm sick of people saying we should let him cry sometimes. That's BS. I think it will come gradually and just like every baby hits their milestones at different times they will learn to self soothe at different paces. 

tysgirl2006

Q

blondie42107:

Give your baby time.

We never CIO with ds1 and won't for ds2.

It may seem hard now but before you know it they are one and you blink and they're turning two and you will probably forget about this.

This. I have never let any of my kids CIO. We rocked DS1 and DD to sleep for much of their first year of life. They are both champion sleepers now. Do whatever works for you, but just remember not to rush your baby. Trust me. I wish my 5 yr old would let me snuggle him and rock him to sleep now. He doesn't even like to hold my hand anymore. Sigh.

DottyBlue

Sarelnad:

meganole25:

Your LO is still really young. All of this comes with time. You can not spoil a baby. You're just going to have to wait it out.

I agree that you can't spoil a baby. I'm sick of people saying we should let him cry sometimes. That's BS. I think it will come gradually and just like every baby hits their milestones at different times they will learn to self soothe at different paces. 

Yeah, I definitely just ignore the "let him cry" crowd. I just feel bad that when I do have to put him down for a few minutes to eat, go to the bathroom, etc that he can't calm himself down. He's usually a hot, sweaty mess by the time I get back to him. Even if it is only 30 seconds. I wish I could teach him. Poor baby.

Thanks for the thoughts

irish city girl

I read that babies are incapable of self soothing until 4 months.  That's why sleep training and CIO aren't recommended until they are older.  My nephew was a terrible sleeper until he was 4-5 months old and then magically he started sleeping really well.  DS1 needed sleep training, but not every kid does.  At this age, just do what works and eventually they'll get it figured out.

dvladybug

Sarelnad:

meganole25:

Your LO is still really young. All of this comes with time. You can not spoil a baby. You're just going to have to wait it out.

I agree that you can't spoil a baby. I'm sick of people saying we should let him cry sometimes. That's BS. I think it will come gradually and just like every baby hits their milestones at different times they will learn to self soothe at different paces. 

I'm so glad someone else said this.  My feelings exactly.  It pisses me off when people say I coddle the babies because I don't want them to cry.

tbone_bride

OP I could have written this! It's so hard to soothe and hold DS all the time since I have my toddler to watch. Know you are not alone!