Friends seem to be fading, Need someone...

AriaMommy

Gah why is that when you truly need people in your life, they all seem to disappear? Its so great when you text not ONE not TWO But FIVE  "friends" about really needing someone and I get nothing nothing *** NOTHING, The AP's are amazing and I love talking to them and venting but I want someone on my side not hat they don't have my best interests at heart but they are protecting their own hearts, but who is helping me protect and heal mine?

 

Sorry for the language, I just need a friend....  

elissaann26

I'm sorry.  I know that when we became foster parents we found some of our closest "friends" were suddenly very distant.  However, we were lucky to have some people surprise us and really support us when we needed it.  I hope you find some support, even if it is from those unexpected sources.

christineandaaron

elissaann26:

I'm sorry. nbsp;I know that when we became foster parents we found some of our closest "friends" were suddenly very distant. nbsp;However, we were lucky to have some people surprise us and really support us when we needed it. nbsp;I hope you find some support, even if it is from those unexpected sources.

This is similar to our experience! Hang in there and vent here all you want!

MagickalNarwhal

It's because people are fraidy-cats A lot of people have a hard time witnessing people they love going through something difficult, especially something that they don't have a good frame of reference for. People want to fix things, or know they are saying the "right" thing, and if they can't it's often easy to withdraw. I am so sorry that you aren't finding support where you are looking for it (and I agree that no matter how awesome the PAPs are, they are not the people who should be your go-to support).

I really really hope that someone can step up and be your support! When I was going through something that felt isolating, I tried being specific about what would be helpful - ie, I need someone to listen without offering me advice or I need someone to watch a dumb rom-com with me. The people who *wanted* to be there for me but didn't quite know how were very very happy to have this information. The people that I expected to be supportive surprised me by disappearing, saying they didn't know what to do, even after I was specific.

I'm thinking of you and sending love!

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DaisyZH

(( Hugs )) I'm sorry you're having a tough time.  I agree with PP, many people withdraw when they don't know how to help or what to say.  That really sucks : (

davidandheather

I agree. I am sorry you are finding the lack of support. I agree that people say rude things or distance themselves because THEY are uncomfortable. This board is supportive so continue to reach out. Are you guys involved in a church? I have found some very supportive people at our church.