2nd child

mldain

I am adamantly against having another, I am also not in a committed relationship because one I dont have time for it and the other I am afraid to ever get pregnant again. My folks keep telling me I need to shed that fear and have another LO with whom ever I marry. I have been talking to some guys and when they talk about your 10 year plan, I tell them flatly NO kids are coming from me. They seem shocked that I adore my LO so much but cant even fathom the thought of ever having another. Although I am all for adoption, being a stepmom or surrogacy.

Did any of you have fears like this before you were with your current SO? Do you still feel the same now? What made you change your mind if you did?

CurlyQ284

What is the fear about getting pregnant for you? Did you have a difficult pregnancy or labor?

I just find it interesting that you would be open to another child, just not pregnancy.

lily_721

My DH was adament when he met me that he was not going to (1) have a serious relationship (2) get married (3) have any children.  Obviously we have all of the above.  He was not in a place where he could imagine a happy, healthy, trusting relationship.  Honestly, I didn't care because I wasn't there either.  As time went on, our desires for the future changed... naturally.

I'm not saying that you should assume you will change because you may always be very happy with having one child.  I'm saying that as time and situations change, you may feel differently.

fellesferie

I was you when I met DH. 

I was positive I was never having another child. I love DS, but I  spent the first two years of his life dealing with a failing/failed marriage and a vicious divorce. 

In fact, I told DH (then new-sort-of-boyfriend): I really don't ever want any more kids.

And he said: Well, that's okay. I might want one or two or zero.

Then, at some point I can't identify, I changed my mind. It was while we were living together but before we married. We decided we would start trying after the wedding. But since it took me a year+ to get pregnant w/ DS, I was pretty sure it was a moot point anyway.

Then I got pregnant the very first month we went off birth control. And I love having my two kids. We don't want anymore--DH got a vasectomy two years ago. But I couldn't be happier having DS and DD.

It's okay to be sure, and it's okay to decide you're not so sure.  

new+tothis

I was. I had a tough pregnancy with complications. I couldn't imagine having another child. Eventually I got into another relationship and things changed. It was a natural progression. I'm now TTC baby #2 (and possibly 3).

twister22

When I was a single mom to DS, I planned stay that way until I was an empty nester. I thought that maybe after DS was out of the house I would meet someone and marry, but not have more children. I could not imagine myself getting married and having more children while DS was still living under my roof - I was 110% focused on DS.

Then, I met my now DH and he convinced me to go out on a date with him. Then one thing led to another and we are now happily married and just had our DD this month.

Becoming okay with marriage and more kids is just something that happened naturally and over time. 

mldain

CurlyQ284:

What is the fear about getting pregnant for you? Did you have a difficult pregnancy or labor? I just find it interesting that you would be open to another child, just not pregnancy.

I had a horrible pregnancy and hated being pregnant i felt gross the entire time