Lost friendships

rakle99

I feel like I have so fewer friends than I used to. After DH and I got married, I made it a point to plan things, continue to email or call my friends, and tried to set up get togethers and was always either stood up or at the last minute I would be told that they had made other plans. I did the same thing while pregnant, because I wanted to go out with them while I had the chance. I feel like they've all abandoned me despite my best efforts. Things are worse now. I call and leave messages or fb them and they don't even get back to me. I've put forth an effort. I never ignored them or spent my entire time talking about DH or babies. What gives? Things are a little better now that I'm meeting other moms, but I still miss my old friends. I don't care that they are still single! I want to continue our friendship! Does anyone else have the same problem?

ChrisG83

Yeah I have lost a couple girlfriends and what really bothered me on Christmas my good friend text DH Merry Christmas and said tell Christin "hi". Really she couldn't text me?! We had been friends for years before I met DH.

irish city girl

This happened to me too. My friends would do things if I planned it, but never initiated things and would do things without me. I got sick of it so I stopped initiating and didn't see them for months. It was upsetting, but I got the picture. I see then occasionally now, but realize that they aren't as interested and we just aren't as close. I've also made new friends and focused on spending time with other people who reciprocate my friendship.

Starry Again

I am sorry. Sounds like they aren't the right friends for you right now. Any chance you could try to join a mom's group or a group around an interest / hobby of yours? I have lost touch with some friends due to the baby (and the fact I don't care enough to make an extra effort at this time) but I don't really care. I figure someday we may  reconnect or it was just time for the relationship to end. 

moonrose2715

Yeah, sadly normal. I say you make as much effort as you feel like but don't expect reciprocity. Find a moms group. My friends actually did great about making the effort for me post baby since one was actively trying to get pregnant and the other wants babies but was finishing an Xray tech program. Anyhow even with their effort I still needed people who could actively relate to what I was going through. I needed my mommy friends. So try to not see it as a loss but as an opening. And your girls might come around still.

ThatWasAHoot

When we had DS this happened to us.  We are only friends with other parents, really, now, save a few people.  Most of the people without children, I think, feel like they can't relate to us anymore or something.  I was best friends with my college roommate for a long time and she just literally disappeared.  She met DS once, came to his first birthday, and we haven't heard from her since then.  She didn't even call when LO was born or text or anything.  Anyway, I know how you feel.  I feel like, unfortunately, this is kind of normal.