blowies frequent in your home?

missyishere

While we're on the sexy topic today, how about BJs? On Parenting it is being discussed using mouth skills as a bargaining tool. Now I used to hand blowies out like there was no tomorrow. It was around 3 to 5 a week for DH. After we found out I was pregnant with Nora, the thought of doing such an act grossed out. I haven't recovered from that yet. It may or may not have had something to do with the fact I was drinking a lot more when giving him special needs time...

thetheisens

I only do it as foreplay, if I finish then we'd after to wait to have sex. I probably receive way more oral than I give.

missyishere

thetheisens:

I only do it as foreplay, if I finish then we'd after to wait to have sex. I probably receive way more oral than I give.

See, it's always been a separate act than sexy time for me. I liked finishing. On the flip side, it's foreplay when he gives me oral. I did tell my DH tonight we need to step up our game again. We are definitely in a slump. Perhaps I should drink more again.

pearblossom

DH never gets a full job. We will pretty frequently start or end the show with it in my mouth, but I am way too lazy and selfish. He's had maybe three start to finish BJs ever. In my defense, he takes forever.

kagl08

I used to do them all the time for DH but then kids came along. It's not so much that I am disgusted by BJs, in fact I actually want to do them more, I'm just exhausted and don't have the energy.

DH and I really need to reconnect. We are in a major slump and we need to get back to something!!

ETA: before kids I would finished a BJ nearly every time. Now they are usually foreplay. Weird how that happened.

missyishere

kagl08:

I used to do them all the time for DH but then kids came along. It's not so much that I am disgusted by BJs, in fact I actually want to do them more, I'm just exhausted and don't have the energy.

DH and I really need to reconnect. We are in a major slump and we need to get back to something!!

ETA: before kids I would finished a BJ nearly every time. Now they are usually foreplay. Weird how that happened.

It's actually a resolution of mine to give our sex life a jump start again. I've always been a sexual being before baby, so I know we can get there again.

cantalopes24

He gets a couple start to finish a month and its a different occurrence than regular sex. 90 of the time when we do have sex he goes down on me first. He's not that into foreplay but he knows I am so it's usually concentrated on me but I do go downtown before sex sometimes. Sometimes we both just do oral but no actual sex and sometimes it's just one of us receiving.

cantalopes24

Also I think using any kind of sex act or with holding of it as a bargaining tool is weird. It's one thing if you're upset and not in the mood or something makes you happy and you get in the mood but I see sex as an important healthy part of relationship and a way to connect as adults. I don't want to make it into a chore or an obligation and I wouldn't want to not get laid because MH did or didn't do something dumb.

thetheisens

cantalopes24:

Also I think using any kind of sex act or with holding of it as a bargaining tool is weird. It's one thing if you're upset and not in the mood or something makes you happy and you get in the mood but I see sex as an important healthy part of relationship and a way to connect as adults. I don't want to make it into a chore or an obligation and I wouldn't want to not get laid because MH did or didn't do something dumb.

 

I feel the same way. I don't want it to seem like something I don't enjoy and am only doing him a favor by "letting" him have sex with me. I can understand having a sexy bet or teasing about it, but to for real withhold as a bargaining tool seems like it would cause more distance in a relationship.  

nittanyllama

They never ever happen here. I've never wanted to do it. I guess my poor H is missing out.

pennysuedog

NittanyMama:

They never ever happen here. I've never wanted to do it. I guess my poor H is missing out.

I haven't never given them but they are very few and far between.

I don't enjoy giving them and he really doesn't care if I do them. Score. 

MH is kind of a neat freak too.  Like immediately after sex it is shower time, I'm talking wham bam shower mam.  

dlast09

pennysuedog:

 

MH is kind of a neat freak too.  Like immediately after sex it is shower time, I'm talking wham bam shower mam.  

MH and I are the same way. Hahah. That's why doing it in the shower is just so convenient ;] HAHA.

We usually use it as foreplay. Maybe I should do an entire job on him... surprise! LOL. Somehow it just ALWAYS turns in to... more. ;] 

blu-eyedwife

Not frequent, but not infrequent either.  I tend to use them as a sex-substitute if I'm tired, or if DH seems really stressed out from work, or if he did something amazing around the house.

BeesMomma00

If we get busy 1x a week, about one of those weeks is a BJ and oral for me.  About 1x is just sex, and the other 2 might be manual stim or a combo of sex/oral.

We mix it up.  LOL.