FLAMEFUL.

poppyseed1017

Let's do one.

poppyseed1017

K, I'll go first.

I think I'm a better mom to M than my sister is to my niece. 

lady_tytah

I'm happy trying to reconnect with my mother failed. I an also happy me and my father don't have a relationship.

ShelbehhRawrr

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

Rhomonk

I'm so over the 4 month wakeful and milestone posts.  I lurk over in the Parenting board because I get tired of the same posts here, and some of those Bumpies are hilarious!

poppyseed1017

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

poppyseed1017

C_mo:

I've fallen off the face of the Earth because most of the stuff here doesn't interest me or feel even remotely relevant to my life. Miles is so much younger than most of the kids here, and I can't stand to read a ton of posts about other kids doing stuff because it makes me impatient. Wyatt was usually one of the first to hit milestones, so being last is something I am very much not used to. 

I feel you.  M was born 9/5 so I always feel really behind.

ks3pink

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse.nbsp;

I don't understand. He doesn't help when he isn't working or when he is? Because if he isn't helping before and after work then I am seriously doing something wrong! I do everything in the morning, evening and all night.

mmdailey

I'm still angry at my soon-to-be ex husband because he is unemployed and still takes vacation on other people's dimes (his mom, his friends, etc.).  I'm also still angry at him because he doesn't even contact me on a daily basis to check on the baby.  He comes over when he has time and when he does, he always has a time limit and leaves my house a mess.  I feel so guilty for forcing my baby to have a POS for a father.

mamahawk12

Has anyone read the crusade against "Pinterest Moms" on facebook that's been circulating? I think whoever wrote that has a serious jealousy issue...

HoneyBunn24

I also believe that I am a better mother to dd than SIL is to her son. We spent the holidays together and even if her DH was working on the home renos SIL would still call him to change his diaper or to get clothes or a you or a drink or anything else aside from going to the bathroom. I was on the floor with both babies playing and making noises and whatever and SIL sat on the couch randomly saying "good work buddy" while playing on her tablet.

ShelbehhRawrr

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

poppyseed1017

mmdailey:

I'm still angry at my soon-to-be ex husband because he is unemployed and still takes vacation on other people's dimes (his mom, his friends, etc.).  I'm also still angry at him because he doesn't even contact me on a daily basis to check on the baby.  He comes over when he has time and when he does, he always has a time limit and leaves my house a mess.  I feel so guilty for forcing my baby to have a POS for a father.

I want to throat punch him.

Why are you forcing, though?  If he isn't interested, it's his loss.

mmdailey

By "forcing" I mean that I did her an injustice by choosing to sleep with him again and getting pregnant by him, thus making him her bio dad.  She deserves so much better.  It makes me wanna throat punch myself for being a dumbass.

poppyseed1017

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

ShelbehhRawrr

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

He's 18. They've done this with past boyfriends as well.

I wish it was that easy...

and I was the one up yesterday at 5. And this morning at 4 -__- While he snored like a baby. ugh 

poppyseed1017

mlynne37wiu:

I have one, but it's obvious that I would be talking about a few people and I am not one to name names, so I'm just going to leave it at that...   It's not about anyone current on here, though, so no worries.

Dude.

That is the point of a flameful.

Name names or gtfo!

Mzbr

I occasionally sit DD in her bouncer where she can see the tv so that i can get a load of laundry folded or dishwasher unloaded! She loves the TV!

poppyseed1017

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

He's 18. They've done this with past boyfriends as well.

I wish it was that easy...

and I was the one up yesterday at 5. And this morning at 4 -__- While he snored like a baby. ugh 

Sorry, but that's disgusting.  And it's going to teach your daughter it's ok to be a doormat to a man.

ShelbehhRawrr

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

He's 18. They've done this with past boyfriends as well.

I wish it was that easy...

and I was the one up yesterday at 5. And this morning at 4 -__- While he snored like a baby. ugh 

Sorry, but that's disgusting.  And it's going to teach your daughter it's ok to be a doormat to a man.

 

I know, but its been my life for quite a while.. once they let me stay in an abusive relationship..

I'm always the bad guy, no matter what i do, it's basically been my life since i was small. 

poppyseed1017

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

He's 18. They've done this with past boyfriends as well.

I wish it was that easy...

and I was the one up yesterday at 5. And this morning at 4 -__- While he snored like a baby. ugh 

Sorry, but that's disgusting.  And it's going to teach your daughter it's ok to be a doormat to a man.

I know, but its been my life for quite a while.. once they let me stay in an abusive relationship..

I'm always the bad guy, no matter what i do, it's basically been my life since i was small. 

What do you mean, they made you stay in an abusive relationship? Isn't that your decision?

I'm sorry it's like that, that really sucks. If your bf works so much that he can't take care of the baby, he needs to save money and get an apartment for the three of you.

ShelbehhRawrr

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

poppyseed1017:

ShelbehhRawrr:

I envy BF for being able to do whatever he wants and not take care of the baby because he "worked" all day. Nice flucking excuse. 

That is not flameful and is actually ridiculous.  My H works two jobs, but you better believe he's changing diapers and helping out when he's home. 

The only flameful part of that is that you're letting him use it as an excuse.

Being the younger mother, and living with my parents and him, its difficult, because they are on his side as well..

I'm alone. Nothing I do is right to them. 

What??   How old is he?   They side with him, a guy who treated you badly and went to jail, over you?  Didn't he get someone else pregnant too? I remember you posting something like that.

It doesn't matter what they all think.  L is his 50% his kid, too.  You want a relationship with your kid?  You do the work.

He's 18. They've done this with past boyfriends as well.

I wish it was that easy...

and I was the one up yesterday at 5. And this morning at 4 -__- While he snored like a baby. ugh 

Sorry, but that's disgusting.  And it's going to teach your daughter it's ok to be a doormat to a man.

I know, but its been my life for quite a while.. once they let me stay in an abusive relationship..

I'm always the bad guy, no matter what i do, it's basically been my life since i was small. 

What do you mean, they made you stay in an abusive relationship? Isn't that your decision?

I'm sorry it's like that, that really sucks. If your bf works so much that he can't take care of the baby, he needs to save money and get an apartment for the three of you.

They let him stay here, but him being abusive was even my fault.

and like this example.

BD took a 2 hour shower the other day. I took 45 minuets and I got screamed at.  

poppyseed1017

Shelbeh, is the abusive relationship the one you're in now?

MoFree

I judge people to some extent based on their views on guns and on cultural sensitivity.

Ladiebug710

Sometimes I'm still sad DS wasn't a girl.

mollyxcate

BIL and SIL both work so their 2 daughters are in daycare which is expensive I understand, but they like to suggest all the time that working and having kids in daycare is so much harder than having a SAH parent. But daycare really teaches their girls so much, being a SAH makes more work because you're constantly here so creating more mess to clean/taking care of your child by yourself during all the wakeful time PLUS trying to keep up with house work and make sure your child is intellectually stimulated and learning rather than having someone whose job is to make sure your child is learning. It drives me nuts.

Their older daughter is very very bright for her age and it is my GOAL to make sure Chloe outshines her just to prove that I am a good SAH and worth something.

It doesn't help that everyone in my family and DH's family (aside from my dad and step mom) told us NOT to have kids right not because we weren't ready. I feel like I'm constantly obsessed with proving them wrong and proving that I'm a good parent. MIL seems to be coming around, she appreciates the fact that we make the sacrifices we do so I can stay home with LO too.

twoitalians

Rhomonk:

I'm so over the 4 month wakeful and milestonenbsp;posts.nbsp; I lurk over in the Parenting board because I get tired of the same posts here, and some of those Bumpies are hilarious!

I'm tired of them too but I'm also guilty of posting some of them. Lol

I also don't know if this is just me thinking this but I have a friend who is too into her pregnancy. Like ditsy girly crazy weekly progress signboard pics. If only I could tell her that kinda cutesy prep goes away after LO arrives... or maybe my baby has been too high maintenance to do stuff like that. Or I'm just too lazy.

mollyxcate

Also:

I don't want to have another baby because I don't want to have a boy.

Having another girl would be fine but adding an opposite sex changes the whole dynamic of a family. I like what we have. I don't want to change it.

If we do end up having another and we have a boy I'm making him take ballet lessons.

KAB414

I'm thankful to have a job but sometimes I wish I would get fired so I could stay home with DS and slowly "look" for another job. I feel terrible saying that because we would not be financially able to do that. Wishful thinking I guess.

poppyseed1017

mollyxcate:

BIL and SIL both work so their 2 daughters are in daycare which is expensive I understand, but they like to suggest all the time that working and having kids in daycare is so much harder than having a SAH parent. But daycare really teaches their girls so much, being a SAH makes more work because you're constantly here so creating more mess to clean/taking care of your child by yourself during all the wakeful time PLUS trying to keep up with house work and make sure your child is intellectually stimulated and learning rather than having someone whose job is to make sure your child is learning. It drives me nuts.

Their older daughter is very very bright for her age and it is my GOAL to make sure Chloe outshines her just to prove that I am a good SAH and worth something.

It doesn't help that everyone in my family and DH's family (aside from my dad and step mom) told us NOT to have kids right not because we weren't ready. I feel like I'm constantly obsessed with proving them wrong and proving that I'm a good parent. MIL seems to be coming around, she appreciates the fact that we make the sacrifices we do so I can stay home with LO too.

Molly.  I love you, but you sound cray-cray here.

Chloe is awesome.  She's going to be bright no matter what.  Don't compare her with other kids.

Also, I get what you're saying, but kind of take offense to it a little.  I work, my kid is in daycare, and I still have to do all of the things you mentioned you do as a SAHM.  And, I make it my other job to make sure my kid is stimulated and engaged during her wakeful time when she is with me, as does DH since he picks her up and spends most afternoons with her.  Leaving her at daycare during the work doesn't mean that someone else engages and stimulates her and I just leave it at that. I work hard, both at work and at home.

And also, you are worth something. Don't ever think you aren't. You are going to be the light of Chloe's life, just as she is yours.

KAB414

poppyseed1017:

mollyxcate:

BIL and SIL both work so their 2 daughters are in daycare which is expensive I understand, but they like to suggest all the time that working and having kids in daycare is so much harder than having a SAH parent. But daycare really teaches their girls so much, being a SAH makes more work because you're constantly here so creating more mess to clean/taking care of your child by yourself during all the wakeful time PLUS trying to keep up with house work and make sure your child is intellectually stimulated and learning rather than having someone whose job is to make sure your child is learning. It drives me nuts.

Their older daughter is very very bright for her age and it is my GOAL to make sure Chloe outshines her just to prove that I am a good SAH and worth somIt doesn't help that everyone in my family and DH's family (aside from my dad and step mom) told us NOT to have kids right not because we weren't ready. I feel like I'm constantly obsessed with proving them wrong and proving that I'm a good parent. MIL seems to be coming around, she appreciates the fact that we make the sacrifices we do so I can stay home with LO too.

Molly.  I love you, but you sound cray-cray here.

Chloe is awesome.  She's going to be bright no matter what.  Don't compare her with other kids.

Also, I get what you're saying, but kind of take offense to it a little.  I work, my kid is in daycare, and I still have to do all of the things you mentioned you do as a SAHM.  And, I make it my other job to make sure my kid is stimulated and engaged during her wakeful time when she is with me, as does DH since he picks her up and spends most afternoons with her.  Leaving her at daycare during the work doesn't mean that someone else engages and stimulates her and I just leave it at that. I work hard, both at work and at home.

And also, you are worth something. Don't ever think you aren't. You are going to be the light of Chloe's life, just as she is yours.

Very well said...

HeartsOnABand

Shelbeh, it really chaps me that youre saying youre parents were condoning the abusive relationship as if it was their fault. I myself have been in an abusive relationship and I know it can be hard to get out of it. I was your age in a serious relationship and he was extremely controlling and beat me black and blue. My parents went as far as changing my number to get him out of my life. I am so sorry your family isnt concerned for you in your situation but you are too young to be putting up with this specially with a child involved. No matter what age you are - you are a mother and need to think and act as an adult. You need to seriously put your foot down and learn to make decisions for yourself instead of saying "oh well". If you can not make smart decisions for yourself then the ability to make smart decisions for your daughter becomes questionable.

ETA: Not to sound all bossy and stuff. It just really rubbed me the wrong way reading your comments.

melmarie26

Saltylove:

poppyseed1017:

C_mo:

I've fallen off the face of the Earth because most of the stuff here doesn't interest me or feel even remotely relevant to my life. Miles is so much younger than most of the kids here, and I can't stand to read a ton of posts about other kids doing stuff because it makes me impatient. Wyatt was usually one of the first to hit milestones, so being last is something I am very much not used to. 

I feel you.  M was born 9/5 so I always feel really behind.

Ditto. Sept 1 baby here. I still stick around though. Knowing what's coming helps, for example with the 4 month wakeful.

All of this! My two were born 8/27 and on most things, they just don't get it. At all. They're still not rolling over consistently. They are not very good at spoon feeding and they can't keep a good grasp on toys too long. Guess they'll be my little, slow to arrive, turtles.

My flameful? I'm over the solids discussion. Whether you chose to delay solids or not, it doesn't make you a better of mother than the rest of us. Or what type of solids you start with. Do what's best for your LO.

Feeling the heat on the back of my neck here.

HeartsOnABand

My flameful is I want DH to quit his job that he loves for a higher paying job. I love working full time and being a mother but I would like to sah and raise my children. I guess in my defense he took a 2 dollar paycut (making money really tight) to get with this company doing something he loves. Here in the south we have a lot of gas plants, pipelining, welding, etc., that pay really well and I was raised in a family where a lot of the men worked in these environments. DH has no interest in it and I finally gave up the fight.

garciasgal

kikimo327:

Ladies, lets stay away from the "my life is harder than yours because I work/I SAH." That too is exhausting and gets us no where. 

Yes, please. 

hooslisa

kikimo327:

C_mo:

mlynne37wiu:

poppyseed1017:

mlynne37wiu:

I have one, but it's obvious that I would be talking about a few people and I am not one to name names, so I'm just going to leave it at that...   It's not about anyone current on here, though, so no worries.

Dude.

That is the point of a flameful.

Name names or gtfo!

I know...I typed it out and then edited it because I felt bad, so I took the easy road.  I'm gtfo now.

COP OUT!! lol, you tease!

mlynne, I insist that you FB message me this flameful ASAP! 

 

two streams on this thread....one about a PPs abusive relationship and one that was a giant tease.  both  made me want to pull out my hair.

mollyxcate

kikimo327:

poppyseed1017:

mollyxcate:

BIL and SIL both work so their 2 daughters are in daycare which is expensive I understand, but they like to suggest all the time that working and having kids in daycare is so much harder than having a SAH parent. But daycare really teaches their girls so much, being a SAH makes more work because you're constantly here so creating more mess to clean/taking care of your child by yourself during all the wakeful time PLUS trying to keep up with house work and make sure your child is intellectually stimulated and learning rather than having someone whose job is to make sure your child is learning. It drives me nuts.

Their older daughter is very very bright for her age and it is my GOAL to make sure Chloe outshines her just to prove that I am a good SAH and worth something.

It doesn't help that everyone in my family and DH's family (aside from my dad and step mom) told us NOT to have kids right not because we weren't ready. I feel like I'm constantly obsessed with proving them wrong and proving that I'm a good parent. MIL seems to be coming around, she appreciates the fact that we make the sacrifices we do so I can stay home with LO too.

Molly.  I love you, but you sound cray-cray here.

Chloe is awesome.  She's going to be bright no matter what.  Don't compare her with other kids.

Also, I get what you're saying, but kind of take offense to it a little.  I work, my kid is in daycare, and I still have to do all of the things you mentioned you do as a SAHM.  And, I make it my other job to make sure my kid is stimulated and engaged during her wakeful time when she is with me, as does DH since he picks her up and spends most afternoons with her.  Leaving her at daycare during the work doesn't mean that someone else engages and stimulates her and I just leave it at that. I work hard, both at work and at home.

And also, you are worth something. Don't ever think you aren't. You are going to be the light of Chloe's life, just as she is yours.

poppy, as always, I love you. Ladies, lets stay away from the "my life is harder than yours because I work/I SAH." That too is exhausting and gets us no where. 

I'm definitely not trying to go there. Just saying that they act like I'm kind of a leech to DH and that I don't do anything. Parenting is hard. No matter what the situation.

bigbootyjudi

I don't pity girls or women in abusive relationships. You have two feet, so GTFO. There are more than enough resources for women in that situation. You're "stuck" there because you keep yourself there. My ex hit me once and you know what I did? Got the eff out.  In fact, since we're being flameful, I think SOME (not all) women in these said relationships keep themselves in that situation because it draws attention and pity to them, especially when they make it a point of making their entire relationship problems public. When you post a picture of your black eye, courtesy of your "soul mate" on FB, you're just vying for attention.

That said, I'm sick of the drama. I like you, Shelbeh, and you're a sweet girl, but come on. One day this guy is BD and a sack of sh!t and the next day he's the love of your life. You have to know that that isn't healthy or how it should be at all. And if you don't, then don't blame anyone but yourself when you're still complaining five years from now about how crappy this douchebag treats you.

bigbootyjudi

C_mo:

anbeck4:

I don't pity girls or women in abusive relationships. You have two feet, so GTFO. There are more than enough resources for women in that situation. You're "stuck" there because you keep yourself there. My ex hit me once and you know what I did? Got the eff out. That said, I'm sick of the drama. I like you, Shelbeh, and you're a sweet girl, but come on. One day this guy is BD and a sack of sh!t and the next day he's the love of your life. You have to know that that isn't healthy or how it should be at all. And if you don't, then don't blame anyone but yourself when you're still complaining five years from now about how crappy this douchebag treats you.

Erm... that's a pretty loud broad statement if I ever saw one.   

Well, all in the spirit of being flamed, I suppose. I just can't wrap my head around the whole, "Oh, I'm stuck with this dbag" excuse. No one is "stuck" anywhere. 

Jessica Swanlake

kikimo327:

I can't tell you the last time I vacuumed. And I let my kid play on the floor. I think cat hair builds immunity

It is true- I read it in an article a while ago. Pets help kids strengthen their immune systems. I keep reminding DH of it every time the dog does something to piss him off. Which is daily.

hooslisa

i wouldn't even know where to go to get a gif to post here. 

now THAT is flameful.