Monitoring u/s appts and your DH

Svenny1011

Does anyone take their DH to monitoring appts? I have an u/s tomorrow morning to see how I'm responding to my first round of Clomid, and DH asked if I wanted him to go. On one hand, it might be good for him to see how things are working and just be there for support. But, on the other, if I've responded well, the doctor will either give me a trigger at the office or say "its go time" - this could put added stress and pressure on DH.

Any thoughts? I know DH gets stressed, and I really don't want that. He likes to know, in general, when I'm ovulating, but not much more than that. I just fear that if there is a sense of urgency with timing from the doctor, that it could sabotage this cycle.

megs3084

DH has never gone to a monitoring appt. I just give him an update when I'm done.

Aurora1181

I bring my DH, but he's the type that has a million questions and wants to know every last detail. If being there adds stress or anxiety, I'd probably leave him at home.

smilormarie

My husband refuses to go to any of mine, unless they are consults. :-(  He said he "did his part" by going to bank sperm 6 times before chemo and rest is my job..  He also said he feels helpless not being able to do anything so would rather not just sit there.  Your hubby might be interested in attending and that's why he's asking?  That would also be nice for him to see what you have to go through at each appt so he feels like he is a part of it.  I figure, if we gals can't get pregnant the 'ole fashioned way, the guys might as well be with us at the appts as the next best thing!

katekat8721

DH always comes to monitor appointments and IUIs. He wants to and I like him being there. He usually doesn't go to CD3 appts or bloodwork or anything. If your hubby wanted to be there, let him. Trust his judgement that he probably already is aware that he might be nervous and he has taken it into consideration. it'll all work out :

MonroesMisfit

DH has never been to mine but that is only because he is usually working when I have them. He has been with me for the IUI process though. 

 If I had the option to have DH there at them I would only because I feel like TTC has been taken out of our hands and that is the one way I can involve him in the process. 

Svenny1011

Thanks for the insight. I think I'll talk with him about it tonight and see what he prefers and if it will make him stressed. I just think he'll be traumatized seeing that dildo cam

 

MonroesMisfit

Svenny1011:

Thanks for the insight. I think I'll talk with him about it tonight and see what he prefers and if it will make him stressed. I just think he'll be traumatized seeing that dildo cam

 

Haha you should have seen the expression on DH's face on our first IUI. He was sitting on the opposite side of the room and his head was tilted with this horrified expression on his face. He sat over next to me this time! lol 

Parkersandtank

DH goes to any appointment he can. I like having him there if his schedule allows.

PurplePanda2

DH doesn't come to monitoring appointments.  They are usually so quick and I fill him in afterwards so I don't see it a necessary thing for him to attend.

 

He does come to the actual IUI's.  He has said he wants to push the sample in instead of having the nurse do it so he can feel like "he did the deed" but I think he is just joking....I hope so.

BellaLux

I think my DH may have gone with me once, most of the times he had to work. Even when he did go he stayed in the waiting room

MrsSmith414

My DH doesn't come with me either. Its such a quick apt and exp where he doesnt want to know more than he needs to!

GL at your monitoring!

rrdiva1

Svenny I have everything crossed for you lady!

I would say if you even think for a minute it will stress him out, don't have him go, not worth it. He can be there for you when you get home if you want to share. I say that because you love him, you will be so damn stressed thinking he might get stressed. Not prob. good for either of you.

On the flip side unfortunately when dealing with IF, the men have to get over the fact that there are times when they have to perform on que, and they always pull through. I was in a panic the 1st round of IVF, like will he be able to do exactly the time they give him and he did both rounds. You guys will be fine! Rooting for you lovie

vpine

DH only went for the injection training and 2 IUI procedures. I told him my follie sizes each time I went to u/s and b/w.

My husband isn't squeamish about things, he was right by the nurse during both IUIs looking, she was adjusting my cervix and he was in awe.

monimu13

My DH has only come to one appt...We havent done IUI yet, so he will have to leave work for that..so I figure I'll just go by myself to the other things. He also hates hospitals, needles, anything medical related...he would just assume not go anyways. Good luck Svenny!

Neesey

DH doesn't usually go to monitoring unless he can't be there for the IUI. Last month was the first IUI I had to do alone. I definitely like it when he's there. He's much more lighthearted about it and I'm usually the stress case. If I could skip monitoring I would! I think letting your DH decide is best. Even if he comes, he could always step out before you get instructions for the month if that would make him more comfortable.

dimples128

megs3084:

DH has never gone to a monitoring appt. I just give him an update when I'm done.

Ditto.

katib77

DH has never gone to a monitoring appt because we never felt it was something he needed to miss work for.  Since he already has to take off work for the IUI, I saw no point.  

If your DH is already off work it might be a lesson for him in what all is involved.  Personally, once you trigger he should have the same sense of urgency weather he hears it from a doctors mouth or yours...but then I'm not dealing with a DH that has anxiety issues so it's something only you can truly judge for yourself.   But don't feel it's needed.  It's just interesting, I think if a guy sees it.

Neffanie

DH comes with me concerning anything IF, his work is awesome about letting him take a few hours here and there when we have appointments, so I feel lucky they will let him be there with me for everything. DH is pretty cute, he gets all pumped up when he sees the eggs. But as other PP's said, he likes to ask a lot of questions and get involved, sometimes I forget things and he remembers so I'm glad he's there.

Svenny1011

It is interesting to see all the responses! I'm not sure if he asked if I wanted him to be there b/c he wants to, or if he was just saying it to be nice. I don't really have a preference......actually, I sorta think it would be best to leave him home. If we had to do IUI or something, that would be different. But we aren't there yet. Plus, I know it will be quick, and my normal doctor is on vacation, so I won't even be seeing him - it will be with some other doctor in the office that I probably won't see again. 

LooneyLife

My DH has never gone to a monitoring appointment with me.  I can go to an appointment and be 30 minutes late for work but he'd end up being a couple hours late.  Its not worth it for us for an appointment that lasts less than 10 minutes.

jezebel57

My first few cycles he didn't attend, but once we started the IUI's he tried to make it to most appointments.  I feel like it educated him and I didn't feel like I had to explain every little thing anymore.  I loved when he went.  

Soon-To-BeMrs.P

DH doesn't come to my monitoring appointment... or my IUI.  I think it has to do with the fact that it's rather quick, and one of us has to make money while I'm laid up with a vag cam or catheter.  The other thing is that he thinks when the doctor says "lining", "intercourse", "relations", and "uterus", it's time for laughter.  Much better that I (being the dominant intellectual) update him in elementary terms using Legos and PlayDoh.

 Have you talked with him about what he wants?   

Svenny1011

Soon-To-BeMrs.P:

 Have you talked with him about what he wants?   

I did tonight when I got home. I told him it was up to him, but that my concern would be that it might stress him out and put some unnecessary pressure on him. He appreciated that, and thought I might be right. So, it is settled - no DH at monitoring appts.  

Now, lets just hope my ovaries are being cooperative tomorrow! I have no idea what to expect since it is my first round. 

Soon-To-BeMrs.P

Best of luck!

deelopi9

My DH came with me to the consult appointment and will be there for IUI. My schedule is more flexible than DH so it's easier for the both of us that way.