Sleep help needed, also posted on May '12

mrsshawnavanb

I'll try to make this as short as possible. DD has always slept in a RNP in our room since day 1 (I bf so this has just always been easier). I've tried to get her to nap in her room in the crib but have rarely had any success with this. She will occasionally take a 20-30 nap in there but usually wakes up screaming the minute I put her down. If I put her in her RNP, she'll nap for a good 45 mins. Problem is that she's 95 % for height and just too long for the RNP at this point, I dont think it's safe.

 A month or so ago, we set up the PNP in our room with hopes that she'd sleep there until we moved her into her room. It has been awful. She will sleep there when I first put her down to sleep but then after about an hour or two, she'll wake up and I'll rock her back to sleep then every time I try to put her back down she'll wake up screaming. I eventually give in and just lay her in bed with me while I cradle her, halfway sitting up, and I do not sleep well at all.

My child is not soothed by shushing. When she wants picked up and I try to give her the paci, she will fling her head from side to side. If I dont' pick her up she will start throwing her legs up and down and thrashing around while screaming louder and louder. I'm not a fan of CIO but I have let her cry for 10 minutes once or twice and that did not help the situation. We have a small fan in her room, the humidifier going and the sleep sheep. All of the same noises she was used to in our room. I've tried to wrap a shirt I've worn around the crib slats so that my smell is close to her.

I am so lost on how to get her to sleep in her room. I haven't had a good nights sleep in I dont even know how long now. I plan to go buy the no cry sleep solution today but I have the next 5 days off work and really want to try to work on this. Someone tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Advice is desperately needed and appreciated.

cmurphy09

DD will sleep in her Crib over the pnp. The pnp is so hard... what made it easy for me putting dd down at night was investing in a rocker I found at a consignment, giving her a warm 8oz bottle with a tsp of rice cereal. Once asleep I place her in her crib with her sleep sheep on. If she wakes up dh will go in give her a bottle while she's in her crib, after 5 mins he replaces bottle with paci. Usually that works he's been really good with ideas.

My MIL, pediatrician friends with lo's also gave me the same advice, putting baby on a schedule is crucial to getting sleep. While most nights are successful, some nights are still hard on occasion but better than before.

I put dd down around 7:308pm to avoid overstimulating. I use to think keeping her up til 10 would mean more sleep until a friend advised I was over stimulating. So I tried an earlier bed time it worked. But I also stopped letting her sleep too much during the day as well. 2.5 hrs max 1 morning 1 afternoon, up no later than 4pm. Playtime, mealtime in between. Bath, bottle then bed. I had to let her cio at first, 510mins max. Then come in with a bottle, rock burp. Typically I try burping first because usually she'd be upset from gas. But sometimes she just wants momma time. Parenting is the definition of trial error but this is what I've found works best for us. GL

mrsshawnavanb

Thanks, We def have a night time routine. We do dinner at 7, play for a bit then bath and bottle. In bed around 8pm. This week was the exception since we had 4 Christmas' to do (divorced parents on both sides)

cmurphy09

mrsshawnavanb:

Thanks, We def have a night time routine. We do dinner at 7, play for a bit then bath and bottle. In bed around 8pm. This week was the exception since we had 4 Christmas' to do divorced parents on both sides

Yw. Hope you get sleep soon. Honestly, calling my pediatrician was the best thing for us. Since they know us, dd and our personal situation. I understand 4 christmases all too well. Excellent movie too

hoping4sticky

Honestly, at this point it is going to be harder and there is going to be some crying. You have a lot of things you need to work on so I would start incrementally. Personally, I think that learning to put yourself to sleep is the biggest so I would do drowsy but awake first. You will probably need to allow for some amount of fussing/crying for it to work. Your tolerance and your baby's temperment will make a difference on how quickly this works. I would also read the Ferber book.

I might get flamed, but if your LO consistently can roll over etc. I would consider putting her on her stomach. That is the only way that I could make the crib transistion with my DS. I take every other SIDS precaution, but he goes down on his stomach. He rolls and crawls etc so I personally am comfortable, but that is your call.

mrsshawnavanb

hoping4sticky:

Honestly, at this point it is going to be harder and there is going to be some crying. You have a lot of things you need to work on so I would start incrementally. Personally, I think that learning to put yourself to sleep is the biggest so I would do drowsy but awake first. You will probably need to allow for some amount of fussing/crying for it to work. Your tolerance and your baby's temperment will make a difference on how quickly this works. I would also read the Ferber book.

I might get flamed, but if your LO consistently can roll over etc. I would consider putting her on her stomach. That is the only way that I could make the crib transistion with my DS. I take every other SIDS precaution, but he goes down on his stomach. He rolls and crawls etc so I personally am comfortable, but that is your call.

 

Wow! You're LO is way ahead of DD. She's not consistently rolling yet, she can roll but rarely does and she's not crawling yet. She will be any day but still just gets on all fours and kind of rocks then sits back down on her booty. Otherwise, I would be willing to try tummy sleep. Thanks for the tips!

hoping4sticky

mrsshawnavanb:

hoping4sticky:

Honestly, at this point it is going to be harder and there is going to be some crying. You have a lot of things you need to work on so I would start incrementally. Personally, I think that learning to put yourself to sleep is the biggest so I would do drowsy but awake first. You will probably need to allow for some amount of fussing/crying for it to work. Your tolerance and your baby's temperment will make a difference on how quickly this works. I would also read the Ferber book.

I might get flamed, but if your LO consistently can roll over etc. I would consider putting her on her stomach. That is the only way that I could make the crib transistion with my DS. I take every other SIDS precaution, but he goes down on his stomach. He rolls and crawls etc so I personally am comfortable, but that is your call.

 

Wow! You're LO is way ahead of DD. She's not consistently rolling yet, she can roll but rarely does and she's not crawling yet. She will be any day but still just gets on all fours and kind of rocks then sits back down on her booty. Otherwise, I would be willing to try tummy sleep. Thanks for the tips!

Yes, my 'baby' is in way too much of a rush to grow up and do what his sister can. I really wish he would slow down. My DD hated her back and didn't roll over onto her back until almost a year and didn't walk until 15.5 months - every child is so different. I also put my DD on her stomach before a year because she hated being on her back so much, it is all what you are comfortable with.

From my experience with two though, if you are considering sleep training, the earlier the better (after 5-6 months). the crying only gets harder when they get older and start crying with a specific purpose. We started doing Ferber, but the checks just upset her. We were lucky with DD and she never cried more than 15 minutes and she was sleeping 12 hours at 6.5 months. Not so lucky with DS, but we are working on teaching him how to sleep, it has been tough because he cut his first tooth at 3.5, just cut the top two together and has a random canine coming in any day. I personally know too many people that still get up with 18 months old, I can't do that, so I sleep train.

alliecat1234

If the crib is where you want her to sleep I would go with the crib and not the PNP.  We transitioned our baby out of our bed into his crib last month using Kim West's method in Good Night Sleep Tight (sleep lady shuffle).  It was hard, but having 4 weeks under our belt I will say that consistency is KEY.  Whatever method you use, stick with it.  It is much harder on a baby to do one thing one night and something else the other, or something else in the wee hours of the morning.

I tried using some strategies from the No Cry Sleep Solution but to me it was way too gradual and confusing.  And our baby didn't nurse to sleep, so he was crying before going to sleep regardless of what we did.  I liked the sleep lady shuffle because you get to comfort your baby for the first 3 nights by being right next to the crib every time they wake up.  It's hard - my husband and I both took turns, but after a week he was sleeping through the night.  This was the kid that co-slept with me for 6 months and nursed every 2-3 hours every single night.  But again - we were VERY consistent.  We did not divert from the plan, even at 2am when sometimes it would have been easier just to pick him up and bring him in bed.  I kept reminding myself that I was only making it harder for him by doing that.  

Edited to Add - And yes there was crying with this method, but it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be and, like I said, our baby was crying before going to sleep even before we did the shuffle.  And we were right there next to him to comfort him while crying, so I felt okay about it.  And now that we are all getting sleep and there is hardly any crying, I realize it was for the best.  None of us were getting sleep anymore co-sleeping.