UOs

andyyougoonie

sofamonkey:

Cool my tits?  Nice.  I'm not even talking about the use of stabby, actually.  I am talking about everything else she said. 

So you are private.  That doesn't mean everyone else is.   She's 8 weeks & comfortable announcing.  Why is that a problem?  Because it would be a problem for you?  You =/= how everyone else might feel.  Talk about projecting here AYG. 

I'm trying to figure out why wufroggy thinks the OP should have waited.  The news doesn't really impact her at all.  If the person has a MC, then so be it.  You wouldn't want everyone to know, but that has zero bearing on what other people want or need.  Wu keeps saying she wished the person would wait.  Why?  That's what I am wondering.  Making MC more private because it makes someone else more comfortable is shaming, and people shouldn't feel shame about this subject.  

Since when have you gotten your panties in a wad about the phrase "cool your tits"?  I'm really sorry if I offended you with that.

Anyway, my BFF had a miscarriage with her first baby.  She had only told like 10 people.  It was crushing for her to call each of us to tell us she lost the baby.  She could only talk for a few minutes because it was just too painful to talk about.  I sent her flowers and her mother called to thank me for them because BFF was still so upset she couldn't talk about it.  We've been close since grade school.

I can't imagine how painful it would have been to have her entire friends list asking her about it.  I empathize with her and never wanted to go through that myself with a massive audience, nor would I want anyone else I care about to have to deal with it.

I am talking about projecting, so ok.  I don't see how it's strange to project your personal feelings of fear of miscarriage to another pregnant woman.  It's not like she posted nasty things on her announcement or even said anything to the woman about it.

I get that you're not a private person and maybe you would want people you barely know bringing up your miscarriage the next time they see you.  I wouldn't, so empathetically, I worry when people announce early on FB.  Like wufroggy apparently does as well.

No one here wants to shame those that have sufferred through miscarriages.  I just personally don't think fresh after a loss and on FB is the best time or place to have to deal with something so painful.

andyyougoonie

sofamonkey:

I had just asked you to clarify how it impacted you at all.  Every response from you just seemed to be a little contradictory.  FWIW, I didn't really have a problem with this discussion until AYG was an assshole, so whatever. 

Wow.  Ok.

[Deleted User]

IrishCoffee7:

sofamonkey:

andyyougoonie:

This is weird.  WuFrog, I totally see where you're coming.  I also have a friend that announced at like 4 weeks, then announced their miscarriage after their 12 week appointment.  They were both healthy, first time parents with no history of trouble or loss.  It was so sad.  When they announced their second pregnancy, it was around 13 weeks.

I never had a loss, but I wait to announce until 13 weeks because I'm a private person.  It worries me when I see people announce super early, not because I think they'll feel ashamed (or that they should) if they have a miscarriage or that I don't want to know about their loss if it happens.  I just don't think most people want it to be everyone's business, but that's hard to think of in the initial BFP excitement.  I think you are privately projecting your own fear and anxiety onto them.  It's not bad, weird or unnatural.  I think it means you're very empathetic.

Sofa, cool your tits.  Stabby was probably the wrong word, which she's admitted, but she's not saying any of the things you are.

Cool my tits?  Nice.  I'm not even talking about the use of stabby, actually.  I am talking about everything else she said. 

So you are private.  That doesn't mean everyone else is.   She's 8 weeks & comfortable announcing.  Why is that a problem?  Because it would be a problem for you?  You =/= how everyone else might feel.  Talk about projecting here AYG. 

I'm trying to figure out why wufroggy thinks the OP should have waited.  The news doesn't really impact her at all.  If the person has a MC, then so be it.  You wouldn't want everyone to know, but that has zero bearing on what other people want or need.  Wu keeps saying she wished the person would wait.  Why?  That's what I am wondering.  Making MC more private because it makes someone else more comfortable is shaming, and people shouldn't feel shame about this subject.  

Meh, I feel like you're inferring the shame here.  Wufroggy's post was poorly worded but not malicious.  Team Andyougoonie.

Also, I've had a MC personally and I always feel a twinge of nerves when someone announces early on FB.  Doesn't mean they "shouldn't".  Just means I hope even more that things go smoothly and it doesn't cause them pain later.

 

Nervous I get.  I had asked several times for some clarity from WF, but only got the wishing her FB friend would have waited as a response.  I was just saying how that repetition could be perceived, since I really got non-responses from WF.   /shrug

scoutkate

Awks.

Wufroggy79

To avoid a long quote tree - It only impacts me in the sense that I would feel horrible for her to share such sad news. Sorry if I said anything to contradict otherwise.  ::hug it out::

[Deleted User]

andyyougoonie:

sofamonkey:

Cool my tits?  Nice.  I'm not even talking about the use of stabby, actually.  I am talking about everything else she said. 

So you are private.  That doesn't mean everyone else is.   She's 8 weeks & comfortable announcing.  Why is that a problem?  Because it would be a problem for you?  You =/= how everyone else might feel.  Talk about projecting here AYG. 

I'm trying to figure out why wufroggy thinks the OP should have waited.  The news doesn't really impact her at all.  If the person has a MC, then so be it.  You wouldn't want everyone to know, but that has zero bearing on what other people want or need.  Wu keeps saying she wished the person would wait.  Why?  That's what I am wondering.  Making MC more private because it makes someone else more comfortable is shaming, and people shouldn't feel shame about this subject.  

Since when have you gotten your panties in a wad about the phrase "cool your tits"?  I'm really sorry if I offended you with that.

Anyway, my BFF had a miscarriage with her first baby.  She had only told like 10 people.  It was crushing for her to call each of us to tell us she lost the baby.  She could only talk for a few minutes because it was just too painful to talk about.  I sent her flowers and her mother called to thank me for them because BFF was still so upset she couldn't talk about it.  We've been close since grade school.

I can't imagine how painful it would have been to have her entire friends list asking her about it.  I empathize with her and never wanted to go through that myself with a massive audience, nor would I want anyone else I care about to have to deal with it.

I am talking about projecting, so ok.  I don't see how it's strange to project your personal feelings of fear of miscarriage to another pregnant woman.  It's not like she posted nasty things on her announcement or even said anything to the woman about it.

I get that you're not a private person and maybe you would want people you barely know bringing up your miscarriage the next time they see you.  I wouldn't, so empathetically, I worry when people announce early on FB.  Like wufroggy apparently does as well.

No one here wants to shame those that have sufferred through miscarriages.  I just personally don't think fresh after a loss and on FB is the best time or place to have to deal with something so painful.

I actually am a fairly private person.  There has been a LOT of back & forth on this.  Like I said, worry is one thing.  That wasn't exactly clear though, which is why I was asking for some clarity. 

You said I was projecting like it was a bad thing, then come back to say that it isn't strange to project feelings.  That is kind of confusing.  

As for the cool your tits business, it just was a weird time to put that in.  Sorry for calling you an assshole about it.  Really.  Like I said, it was just an odd placement/subject for that.  

[Deleted User]

Wufroggy79:

To avoid a long quote tree - It only impacts me in the sense that I would feel horrible for her to share such sad news. Sorry if I said anything to contradict otherwise.  ::hug it out::

Hug to you too. 

 

::slaps asss for good measure::

CoffeeBeen

Hugs for everyone!!!

andyyougoonie

sofamonkey:

I actually am a fairly private person.  There has been a LOT of back & forth on this.  Like I said, worry is one thing.  That wasn't exactly clear though, which is why I was asking for some clarity. 

You said I was projecting like it was a bad thing, then come back to say that it isn't strange to project feelings.  That is kind of confusing.  

As for the cool your tits business, it just was a weird time to put that in.  Sorry for calling you an assshole about it.  Really.  Like I said, it was just an odd placement/subject for that.  

Ok, maybe that's where the confusion came in.  When I said the quote below, you should read that as WuFroggy as the "you".  Not you, sofa.  WuFroggy (and I) project our feelings of anxiety and fear about a miscarriage and dealing with it publicly.  I'm sorry that wasn't clear. 

"I think you are privately projecting your own fear and anxiety onto them.  It's not bad, weird or unnatural.  I think it means you're very empathetic."

Wufroggy79

sofamonkey:

Wufroggy79:

To avoid a long quote tree - It only impacts me in the sense that I would feel horrible for her to share such sad news. Sorry if I said anything to contradict otherwise.  ::hug it out::

Hug to you too. 

 

::slaps asss for good measure::

Good, because I didn't want to write you on my Post - It because I think you are a fun poster. ::throws confetti and rainbow glitter::

andyyougoonie

I'm guessing sofa just doesn't like me in general because that is the second time in like a week that she's called me pissy or an assshole.

[Deleted User]

andyyougoonie:

I'm guessing sofa just doesn't like me in general because that is the second time in like a week that she's called me pissy or an assshole.

Nuh uh!  I do like you, which is why this is so weird.  Andplusalso, I haven't even been on here in like over a week!  

littlemac1117

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

CoffeeBeen

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

Wufroggy79

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

Same.  I love it when they make fun of her in the SNL "Quirky Girls" sketch.  

littlemac1117

Wufroggy79:

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

Same.  I love it when they make fun of her in the SNL "Quirky Girls" sketch.  

I don't like Anne Hathaway OR Zooey Deschanel. I like Zooey's voice, but she is a terrible actor. So is her sister.

ETA: I love the Quirky Girls sketch too! The Michael Cera impression kills me.

CoffeeBeen

littlemac1117:

Wufroggy79:

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

Same.  I love it when they make fun of her in the SNL "Quirky Girls" sketch.  

I don't like Anne Hathaway OR Zooey Deschanel. I like Zooey's voice, but she is a terrible actor. So is her sister.

ETA: I love the Quirky Girls sketch too! The Michael Cera impression kills me.

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

missyishere

Wufroggy79:

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

Same.  I love it when they make fun of her in the SNL "Quirky Girls" sketch.  

So funny indeed, I'm going to pull it up on Youtube and watch it now.  

littlemac1117

CoffeeBeen:

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

I will say that I liked Anne as Selina Kyle in Dark Knight.

CoffeeBeen

littlemac1117:

CoffeeBeen:

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

I will say that I liked Anne as Selina Kyle in Dark Knight.

FFC time: I haven't seen it.

old_time_girl

Mayo and ketchup are not allowed to touch. Mustard can go with either.

Diet coke trumps diet pepsi

Summer is better than winter

Hardwood floors are dumb

Cilantro is the best herb out there

Wufroggy79

old_time_girl:

Mayo and ketchup are not allowed to touch. Mustard can go with either. Diet coke trumps diet pepsi Summer is better than winter Hardwood floors are dumb Cilantro is the best herb out there

I love our hardwood floors.  The only spot we have carpet is in the finished basement. Carpet kinda skeeves me out with what can lie trapped in it.  

shadypines

old_time_girl:

Mayo and ketchup are not allowed to touch. Mustard can go with either. Diet coke trumps diet pepsi Summer is better than winter Hardwood floors are dumb Cilantro is the best herb out there

I love dipping my french fries in mayo & ketchup mix.

littlemac1117

old_time_girl:

Mayo and ketchup are not allowed to touch. Mustard can go with either. Diet coke trumps diet pepsi Summer is better than winter Hardwood floors are dumb Cilantro is the best herb out there

Sometimes I mix mayo and ketchup together for my fries.

Spicy brown mustard is the only mustard.

I totally agree with you about the last four.

MommaG123

littlemac1117:

CoffeeBeen:

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

I will say that I liked Anne as Selina Kyle in Dark Knight.

No way.  She seems so awkward when she tries to play sexy type roles. 

littlemac1117

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

CoffeeBeen:

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

I will say that I liked Anne as Selina Kyle in Dark Knight.

FFC time: I haven't seen it.

We rented it recently, and it was so good. I am sad that its probably the last one. They kiiiinda hinted at another one at the end, but I'm not sure if anything is in the works or not. I can hope.

littlemac1117

MommaG123:

littlemac1117:

CoffeeBeen:

I don't really care if you hate Anne, so long as you hate Zooey.  

Quirky Girls is the best.  

I will say that I liked Anne as Selina Kyle in Dark Knight.

No way.  She seems so awkward when she tries to play sexy type roles. 

I liked her! I think they did a good job with the dynamic of the Batman/Catwoman relationship. And that is all I'll say because I don't want to leave any spoilers for those who haven't seen it.

Otherwise, I can't see her as anyone other than the super awkward girl in princess diaries.

Kitiara5512

Gladiator style sandals should stay a thing of the past. Ankle boots with open ties can go DIAF.

littlemac1117

Kitiara5512:

Gladiator style sandals should stay a thing of the past. Ankle boots with open ties can go DIAF.

I hate hate hate open toed shoes. (Well, aside from sandals.)

old_time_girl

Skinny jeans are never hot.

littlemac1117

old_time_girl:

Skinny jeans are never hot.

Skinny jeans are the only jeans that ever fit me without having to alter them 

kcisthebombdotcom

sofamonkey:

andyyougoonie:

This is weird.  WuFrog, I totally see where you're coming.  I also have a friend that announced at like 4 weeks, then announced their miscarriage after their 12 week appointment.  They were both healthy, first time parents with no history of trouble or loss.  It was so sad.  When they announced their second pregnancy, it was around 13 weeks.

I never had a loss, but I wait to announce until 13 weeks because I'm a private person.  It worries me when I see people announce super early, not because I think they'll feel ashamed (or that they should) if they have a miscarriage or that I don't want to know about their loss if it happens.  I just don't think most people want it to be everyone's business, but that's hard to think of in the initial BFP excitement.  I think you are privately projecting your own fear and anxiety onto them.  It's not bad, weird or unnatural.  I think it means you're very empathetic.

Sofa, cool your tits.  Stabby was probably the wrong word, which she's admitted, but she's not saying any of the things you are.

Cool my tits?  Nice.  I'm not even talking about the use of stabby, actually.  I am talking about everything else she said. 

So you are private.  That doesn't mean everyone else is.   She's 8 weeks & comfortable announcing.  Why is that a problem?  Because it would be a problem for you?  You =/= how everyone else might feel.  Talk about projecting here AYG. 

I'm trying to figure out why wufroggy thinks the OP should have waited.  The news doesn't really impact her at all.  If the person has a MC, then so be it.  You wouldn't want everyone to know, but that has zero bearing on what other people want or need.  Wu keeps saying she wished the person would wait.  Why?  That's what I am wondering.  Making MC more private because it makes someone else more comfortable is shaming, and people shouldn't feel shame about this subject.  

I'm not wufroggy, but I share her sentiment. I do cringe when people announce early too since I've seen the effects of people who had to "un-tell" the world. They said it was one of the most emotionally difficult parta of the process. It's not because there's something wrong or shameful of miscarrying but because it was painful enough having to "un-share" the news with close family--nevermind everyone else. One of them happened to be a coworker and since she told the whole company it took a while until everyone knew so she'd get lots of innocent questions of how are you feeling/when are you finding out what you are having/etc. Everyday, multiple times a day she had to say the words "I'm not pregnant anymore". It sucked for her and made a tough time even tougher.

I can't think of one person who miscarried who didn't wait until at least 13 weeks to tell the next time. One even waited until the anatomy scan to announce.

CinemaGoddess

I like Zooey Deschen-howeveryouspellhername's Christmas CD.

 

CinemaGoddess

Also, I think John-Ralphio is the best character on Parks & Rec.

CinemaGoddess

justAphase:

CinemaGoddess:

Also, I think John-Ralphio is the best character on Parks & Rec.

uh oh uh oh it's K to the N to the -O-P-E, the dopest lil shorty in all of Pawnee... Indiana. 

I just watched that episode and died laughing.  Again. 

littlemac1117

justAphase:

CinemaGoddess:

Also, I think John-Ralphio is the best character on Parks & Rec.

uh oh uh oh it's K to the N to the -O-P-E, the dopest lil shorty in all of Pawnee... Indiana. 

R to the O to the N then I say, Swanson's got swagger the size of Beg Ben...clock.

andyyougoonie

mbenit4:

I suggest you volunteer at your local soup kitchen or food bank. You may be surprised as to who is hungry. There are a lot of families that have suffered lay offs, medical expense, etc that are at the brink. There are a lot of new "poor" people out there. A lot of people are a few paychecks away from homelessness. There is so much the mom and pop non profits do that you know go to who needs. I side eye a lot of those "foundations." I know there are issues internationally but a lot of the same can be found right in our own backyard.

I have been hungry before. I have gone to bed without. There are people the system misses.

This is so true.  There is a lot of need everywhere.  Haven't you ever seen that commercial for Project Share with the old woman going to bed in every coat and sweater she owns because she can't afford her power/heat?  Breaks my heart.  I'm crying just thinking about it.  Damnit.

ETA: effing massive quote tree

LuckyDad

CoffeeBeen:

littlemac1117:

Soo....anyway. I can't get it up for New Girl. I don't know why, I'm just not into it.

It's because of Zooey Deschanel, that's why. 

I don't mind Anne Hathway but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to pull my hear out.  can't stand her.

I am all about Zooey and I still can't get it up for New Girl. But Zooey was great in 500 Days of Summer. And she even wasn't bad in Hitchiker's.

LuckyDad

old_time_girl:

Mayo and ketchup are not allowed to touch. Mustard can go with either. Diet coke trumps diet pepsi Summer is better than winter Hardwood floors are dumb Cilantro is the best herb out there

These are all wrong, except Diet Coke >> Diet Pepsi. Who drinks Diet Pepsi???

LuckyDad

Kitiara5512:

Gladiator style sandals should stay a thing of the past. Ankle boots with open ties can go DIAF.

I dunno, Gladiator sandals are kinda hot, and I'm honestly not sure why. I'm not even into shoes. Except tall boots. Cuz, y'know, they're sexy tall boots.