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I hate holidays

cacklemonstacacklemonsta member
in Trouble TTC

And I used to love holidays, especially Christmas. Now all they do is remind me what I don't have, that everyone else around me seems to get so easily. Stupid IF. And it's even worse when you get AF on Christmas morning. And then later find out that DH's cousin is 5 months pregnant. :(


Started TTC Aug '09
Me: 24, HSG=clear, normal hormone levels, regular cycles, insulin resistance
DH: 25, SA normal
Dx Unexplained Infertility Oct '11
3 cycles of Clomid w/ TI =BFN
IUI#1 Jan. 23 w/ Clomid =BFN
IUI#2 Feb. 19 w/ Clomid =BFN
IUI#3 Mar. 16 w/ Clomid= Apr. 1 beta=8, very faint BFP w/ ClearBlue test...Apr. 2 @ 9pm-BFN w/ ClearBlue...Apr. 3- spotting and cramping...Apr. 5, confirmed c/p.
IUI#4 May. 16 w/ Clomid =BFN
IUI#5 Jun. 11 w/ Clomid =BFN
IUI#6 Jul. 6 w/ Gonal-F 75units + Ovidrel =BFN
TI w/ Gonal-F 75units + Ovidrel =BFN
IUI#7 Aug. 28 w/ Gonal-F 125units + Ovidrel =BFN
Break cycle=BFN
IUI#8 Oct. 20 w/ Gonal-F 125units + Ovidrel + Progesterone =BFN
IUI#9 Nov. 13 w/ Gonal-F 150units + Ovidrel + Acupuncture + Progesterone =BFN
IVF#1-- ER Mar. 3: 9R, 7M, 7F. ET scheduled for Mar. 8

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A CACKLE A DAY

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Re: I hate holidays

  • sundowner85sundowner85 member
    I'm sorry. I had a few pangs of sadness yesterday, but tried to make the most of it. Overall I did well (wine helped). I hope that everyone on this board doesn't have to experience that sadness again next Christmas. I wish you the best in the New Year.
    TTC from May 2011 to Jan 2013. Due 9/11/13
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  • MrsSmith414MrsSmith414 member
    I'm so sorry, yesterday was hard on me also. As much as it does tug at my heart I am happy for others and the fact that they don't know the pain I do. :( HUGS Break out the wine and drink till it hurts! 
    Me; 28 Hubby: 29 - TTC since 5/11 - PCOS Cycle #18-21 Clomid & Trigger & TI = BFN 
    Cycle #22 Gonal-F & Trigger & IUI = BFFP!! EDD 10/4/13 Beta#1 50.5, Beta#2 212, Beta#3 452, First HB 133!!!Logan William born 10/7
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  • Sony22Sony22 member
    I know the feeling girls. For me, the sadness keeps sneaking in more and more lately... Sorry you're all going through this as well.
    Me 33. DH 32. TTC Since 6/2011. 12/2012-m/c, CP. DH: MFI. CCT/HSG/day 3 blood work-all nl. IVF#1 ER- 8/7/12, ET- 8/10. beta 8/25 neg, I did not respond as expected. AMH: 0.88. IVF#2 BCP-10/19. Micro flare Lupron-Nov: It's a bust. IVF#3 Planned for Feb '13 with a long lupron protocol ON OUR OWN!!! BFP- 1/12/13. Yay! EDD 9/18, now EDD 9/25
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  • KristinfmKristinfm member
    I'm so sorry you had a rough Christmas. Hugs to you - here's hoping 2013 is a wonderful year:)
    imageimage
    Me(32) + DH(32) TTC #1 since Dec 2011
    RE consult Dec 2012, diagnosed with lean PCOS (didn't see that coming!)  medicated cycles 1 - 4 = BFN
    cycle 5 - metformin, femara 7.5mg, IUI #1, progesterone = BFP!!!
    beta #1 (13dpiui) 37, beta #2 (15dpiui) 104, u/s at 6w5d hb of 115♥
    image
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  • LuCloLuClo member

    Ouch- holidays and IF never mix well, but that sounds like a particularly lethal combo.

    I second the glass of wine (who am I kidding? Just stick a straw in the bottle). And relish in the fact that you still can get sloppy drunk for New Year's!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • MochadoodleMochadoodle member

    I'm sorry! :(

    I can relate. This is our first Christmas dealing with IF. It's hard, but we're hanging in there. We only had to endure one gender announcement and one pregnancy announcement. We have one more party to attend this weekend. I'm not expecting any announcements tho.

    Mr. & Mrs. - Est. 10.03.2009

    TTC #1 since 06.2011 Me-24 DH-24

    12.2011 SA = Normal

    06.2012 First visit with OB/GYN

    10.2012 Clomid 50mg + TI = BFN

    11.2012 Clomid 50mg + TI = BFN

    12.2012 Clomid 100mg + TI = BFN

    01.2013 First visit with RE

    02.2013 Clomid 150mg + TI = BFN

    03.2013 Femara 5mg + TI = BFN

    05.2013 Femara 5mg + TI = BFN

    06.2013 Femara 7.5mg + TI = BFN

    *Taking a break*  

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  • lauriemellauriemel member
    Take care of yourself.  I understand the feeling, though.  Our minister told a story about a childless couple during his sermon and I started crying in the middle of church on Christmas Eve.  Christmas Day was pretty manageable, but I came home to find 2 facebook pregnancy announcements.  That stung a little.  Here's hoping we all have babies (or at least bellies) by next Christmas!
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    Anniversary



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  • emtbd26emtbd26
    HUGS!!!!

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    image image

    *Me 28 Husband 31

    *TTC since 10/2009

    *10/2010Tried 1 cycle of clomid 50mg with no results

    *12/2010 On break due to needing a new OB and money reasons

    5/5/12 Underwent exploratory surgery and had tubes blown out- no issues found

    5/5/12 DH had SA and numbers look great

    7/2102 50mg dose of clomid with ovulation and timed sex no results

    8/12 Clomid cylce #3- no success

    8/30 Went to see RE and we have decided to move onto IUI attempts

    10/18 IUI#1 BFN and cyst developed so on hold

    11/17 IUI cycle #2 BFN
    IUI #3,4,5,6 =BFN

    First round of IVF- 2 fresh transfered Beta=20, 37 than ended in M/C- Will do frozen transfer in Sept!

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  • PurplePanda2PurplePanda2 member
    (((hugs))) I totally understand what you are going through.  I got AF on Christmas eve.  I should not have gone on Facebook at all over the holidays...all I could see were baby's first Christmas pictures, or pictures of families,etc.  It is so hard.
    imageimage



    TTC #1** Went off BCP July 2011

    Me: 31 DH:31


    Jan 2012 Dx PCOS by OB/Gyn


    July 2012 - Tests with RE confirmed PCOS and annovulation

    2 rounds of clomid, 5 IUI's using clomid + injectibles. 

    Surprise BFP while on break cycle due to cysts.  It's a girl! Baby "E" born on Thanksgiving Day 11/28/13


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  • TiffanyLovesRileyTiffanyLovesRiley
    I totally understand how you are feeling as well. All of my siblings and husbands siblings are either pregnant right now, or have new babies... It makes it very hard to sit there by yourself when they are helping their chidlren open gifts or opening new baby gifts... Its kind of nice to know we are not alone in our journeys tho! Praying we all have a successful baby making year in 2013!! :)
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