Update on the BD email situation-

pregokat

So he emailed me again- 

Didn't answer any of my questions, like what he planned on doing, if he wanted to be involved, if he had a job now or anything...

But he did say "If you think you're getting child support out of me you have a fight coming. I'm going to make them do paternity tests then laugh when you have to pay for it because I'm not the father, I am not able to reproduce" which is funny because he not only has some other girl pregnant right now too-  a few months behind me- As well as he 'supposedly' had a baby with a girl when he was 19 and she ended up drowning the child because of PPD (this is the story he told me anyways) and If you read my last post- this guy is a habitual liar, so I can't take anything he says to heart....

Anyways- He also said he's not going to 'beg' me to be involved, because he knows I don't want him around... I've looked up his criminal history online & I now know that he has a ton of theft/robbery charges, as well as failure to appear in court, and a d.u.i.  So with all of those charges, and the emails of him saying he's not going to try to be involved, the lies about not being able to reproduce, him saying he'd meet up with me, but then not showing- I will have a pretty easy time in court- not only getting sole custody, but getting child support awarded. (not that he's going to actually pay it but hey in my state they take liens on houses, pay checks, taxes and eventually arrest people for non payment)

 So my next step is get a lawyer or family assistance, and get a dna test then get the ball rolling- I highly doubt he will ever show to court. 

 

JulieLA

He sounds a real loser that you should run from instead of engaging in a court battle and have him in and out of you and your child's life.  The little money you might get from him won't be worth the presence in your life. 

shabamwam

JulieLA:

He sounds a real loser that you should run from instead of engaging in a court battle and have him in and out of you and your child's life.  The little money you might get from him won't be worth the presence in your life. 

Agreed! I'd say, yup your right, your not my babys dad.

pregokat

See that's what I was thinking for so long! Then everyone convinced me I needed to 'give him a chance' to be involved, & that I also need to file for child support- whether he wants to be involved or not... So that way IF he ever did get a job, or try to turn in taxes or anything- that the baby would get something from it... I would never depend on it or anything, just be a surprise when I got a payment & would be able to put it towards college savings or something nice for my son... 

Anyways- we'll see how it all plays out! Thanks ladies

I appreciate having a place to vent, not really anyone I can talk to about this stuff in my life- Don't want to weigh anyone down with the crazy/sad situation 

Reallynervous83

Sounds like a loser of a guy to get knocked up with.  Please make sure you get the child support--paying child support or not paying it doesn't determine the involvement of the father. 

preggersin2011

I would look on your states website to educate yourself. Most of the time you do not need a lawyer for family court, and the websites walk you through exactly what forms need to be filled out or the clerks help you. For example when you get released from the hospital you go to your county family court house wait in line, and tell the person you want to file petitions for child support but you aren't sure which form you need to fill out and also that paternity needs to be established. You might have to wait for a birth certificate to arrive. If i were you I would wait on hiring a lawyer. When i spoke with a lawyer about my case (before retaining) the advice given to me was that I do not need a lawyer, it is optional, and if at anytime I feel overwhelmed all I have to do is tell the judge that & i want to have a lawyer. If money is tight I would wait until you are actually in court and see what happens before shelling out money unnecessarily 

beany02

which one of these scenarios is better for your baby....

1) the drama and stress of dealing with the courts to possibly, maybe, at some point get child support out of him?

2) forgetting he exists and focusing on being the best mom you can be to your LO and providing a happy environment?

bripratt2

Have you thought about visitation? I know here atleast so.e kind of visitation is required with child support and I think in most places its the same.