Vent that only a Preemie mom would understand...

DrRx

So, I get these calls every few months or so from a nurse at the insurance company.  It is meant to be something to help new moms, etc, and they ask questions about LO and if I have any questions, etc.  Usually, it's not that big a deal.  I don't really have any questions, or if I do it's about coverage for something (which they know nothing about), so it's just usually a relatively pointless phone call, but I do it anyway since I know that they're just trying to do their job.

Well, the other day, the nurse called me and we chatted about Adalyn, how she was doing, etc.  I mentioned during the phone call that her EI therapist said that she was doing really well on her milestones, despite being 3.5 months early, and what we were currently working on. I also mentioned how we had just had our synagis shot, and had finished the flu shot series, etc. 

Well, the nurse then asked if I had her interact with any babies her age, and I said, "Um, no.  She's on Synagis, just came off the oxygen in July, the apnea monitor in October, and it is cold and flu season.  She has BPD and we were told to avoid small children during this season."  I don't know how much clearer I had to be, but the nurse then continued on with "Well, she would really benefit from being around other children.  You should really consider letting her interact with other children to help with her development. "  My jaw dropped.  I couldn't believe she was trying to make me feel guilty because I don't take her on playdates or have her play with other infants. 

I then asked her "Do you know what BPD is?  Do you not understand that if she gets RSV and/or the flu she will most likely be hospitalized?  Have you no concept what it means that she was on supplemental oxygen until a few months ago? There's plenty of time for her to interact with other children AFTER cold and flu season, and she's doing really well milestones wise, given the fact that she only spent 2 trimesters in the womb.  I'm going to go ahead and follow my pediatrician's advice, and common sense, and keep her away from kids."

She somewhat understood her mistake and was quick to say "Oh, ok.  Yeah.  Um, so, do you have any other questions?" Whatever.  Idiot. 

Brummy14

Ugh. We also have that through our insurance, but I was hoping it would end once I delivered. I was especially peeved when they started asking all about my mental well being like a week after the girls arrived. I wanted to be like, "How do you think I should be feeling right about now?!" Meh. I'm sorry. These first few years are going to be exceptionally tough, I can already tell.

SBBBE

So frustrating.  Sounds like you handled it well!

LnR70707

Those nurses are always so clueless.  We've got that through our insurance too and also one for PTL awareness.  Lot of good that did me.  I think I'll be opting out of it this time through.

PhillyGal34

I think you handled it well. Have you thought about writing an email to the insurance company and telling them that they need to have their nurses become more educated on preemies or have a preemie nurse or 100 since they are unfortunately so common? If someone listened to her and went to a play group and their baby got sick they could probably sue [I wouldn't... but people are sue happy... I'm a lawyer, it's my job security!] It's stupid to have nurses calling and giving advice if it isn't medically sound!