Debating when to tell...

Lindz5pie

Hi everyone. This is my first post in the multiples board. I just found out we are expecting triplets.. Complete suprise considering we were trying for one more since we have a 15 month at home.  I have of course been going through all the normal pregnancy symptoms, nausea, fatigue..etc.. but we were planning to tell our families on Christmas about the pregnancy.  But now when we found out that there is 3 in there we are nervous.  We were thinking maybe share that we are pregnant but not tell with how many until the end of January.. but then with me having a 15 month old I really need the help from both parents to take her on the days im really feeling awful.... im afraid if we tell our parents everything it will jinx the babies or something silly... especially since the doctor explained how easy it is to miscarry in the first trimester.. I was wondering what some thoughts are from everyone to maybe help make this decision easier... im super excited either way just wondering what other people have done especially when they have other children at home to take care of..

gault530

I haven't been in your situation exactly, but if you happened to miscarry one, would you tell your parents anyway? We're both close to our parents so we would have told them if something went wrong. I don't think you can jinx anything by telling them.

We did wait to tell everyone else until after the first trimester.

Congrats!!

kgs0505

Trust me when I say you are absolutely right you will need help with 1. A multiples pregnancy is so much more complicated than a singleton one. Hopefully you won't have complications, but at 21 weeks I have had mire than my share already. I've needed a lot of help with my 21 month old because of major lifting restrictions.

Going_from_Miss_to_Mrs

Congratulations!!  Triplets are awesome!

If you can really trust your parents and in-laws, then I say, by all means share with them . I only told my mom and sister when I found out I was expecting triplets because I knew all the others would be too excited and spill the beans. before we were ready to tell  I then told everyone else at 15 weeks.  I was a nervous wreck as well! 

Do whatever you feel is comfortable.  Triplets are so rare that no one will suspect you are so sick because you are carrying 3 babies  

macchiatto

Personally, I don't believe in "jinxing" so that wouldn't have held me back. When deciding who to tell during the first tri, I asked myself whether it was someone I'd want to have to share news of a possible m/c with and then gradually told those people. We didn't find out we were having twins til 12w though and it was our first pregnancy so different circumstances, but I think you could still apply that rule of thumb if it makes sense to you.

rinascita

I'm 'only' having twins and we still waited to tell parents until ~ 10 weeks and only b/c we trusted them not to tell anyone until we gave them the ok. 

We were nervous as well, but like a PP mentioned, I would've liked for my parents to be there for us if we did lose one or both babies during 1st Tri.  It was also kind of exciting for my mom to go to an early u/s with me when my husband couldn't get out of a work thing and she never had an u/s with me.

dgancz

Even though it wasn't that long ago ,things are a bit foggy.We have twins and told our parents around 8 weeks.We have an older DD as well.I did not tell anyone else till after the first trimester and even then I did not always say it was twins.

But yes you are going to need help and maybe telling them way, would make it easier to ask for the help. 

Jen0204

macchiatto:

Personally, I don't believe in "jinxing" so that wouldn't have held me back. When deciding who to tell during the first tri, I asked myself whether it was someone I'd want to have to share news of a possible m/c with and then gradually told those people. We didn't find out we were having twins til 12w though and it was our first pregnancy so different circumstances, but I think you could still apply that rule of thumb if it makes sense to you.

I agree with this.  We told our immediate families pretty early (8 or 9 weeks I think?) and asked them not to tell anyone.  We told them because if something were to go wrong we knew that we would turn to them for support anyway.  With my ILs we didn't tell them it was twins until a few weeks later, but that was H's call.  I thought it was odd not to tell them it was twins right away but that's what he wanted to do.

lynn0926

Congrats! I would tell your parents, in-laws, and closest friends so you can get the help that you need when you are having a rough day.  I would hold off to the 2nd tri to tell friends, co-workers, fb, etc. We told our parents and close friends right away about twins.  I waited to the NT scan to tell other friends, co-workers, etc.  I waited until 24 weeks to post on FB.

LuvWIfootball

Congrats on triplets!  Because we did IVF, our family and a few close friends (who knew of our procedure) were told about our 3 as soon as our 1st u/s was over (7wks).  I then chose to tell my employees (4 of them) and my boss at 8 wks because I wanted to have as much time as possible to plan who would manage my office if I were to go out on bedrest early.  Plus, I was already showing at 8wks, so there would have been no way to hide it. 

I say, tell those who you would want/need the support of if something does go wrong.  And at the same time, don't worry about jinxing anything.  Nature has already set it's course, so you saying something won't alter that.  Although, we did wait until after our NT scan at 13wks to announce to everyone else we know.

Congrats again and try to enjoy each day that you can.  Some are better than others, but all will be worth it.

WeAreSmalls

We decided to tell earlier with the twins than with the single pregnancies (2 of which ended in miscarriage). I was around 9 weeks when we told family - including aunts, uncles, cousins. I did wait until I had 2 u/s so I felt comfortable with telling everyone. With my single pregnancies I didn't really want anyone to know and get excited too early. But this time I felt like a) everyone needed a little more time to get used to the idea of twins and b) there was a bigger chance of complications where I might need help with daughter.

FaeryStarGazer

Wait it out- get yourself through the next four weeks. If you REALLY need a hand, tell them you're pregnant but leave out the bit about the triplets for now. Make a huge Valentine for your families from your toddler with three tiny foot prints in it- or do a super fun triplet reveal later on

RobinR91

Congrats! Times3! I told my parents at 9 weeks it was three. I told my sister at that time t oo.  I didn't "tell" anyone else u Neil second trimester but I'm 5'2, maybe 125 pre pregnancy so I ws showing by 10 weeks. Lol. My coworkers all assumed it was twins, pretty close. Triplets are AWESOME FYI.  I was so scared when I first found out. But there's a chapter in dr Luke's book (expecting twins, triplets and quads) that talks about the emotional grieving period when you accept your pregnancy is going to be different than you expected--it helped me a lot!

 

happy and healthy 8 months to you! ( or 9 if. Your doc would let you o that long. Mine wouldn't) 

1+tripsmom

We did not plan to tell anyone for awhile we lost a baby 9 months earlier. We told our parents as soon as we found out that we were expecting 4 at almost 8 weeks I think we called as soon as left clinic. We told everyone else after 11 weeks I think we thought I would show super early but I did not. Congrats and welcome to the crazy triplet journey. 

Dragonfly1226

Congratulations! We told my parents I was pregnant at 10.5 weeks since we were staying with them for Thanksgiving and it was impossible to hide considering how sick I was and that I was already starting to show. We waited a few weeks longer to tell them it was twins. My mother has a hard time keeping a secret, and if we did m/c we would tell them but wouldn't want to have to tell the rest of the world. I know with a 2.5 year old at home we will need help once the twins come and hope that my parents will come help us, but we haven't discussed specifics with them yet.