Late Term and Child Loss

That awkward moment...

when someone you haven't seen in a while (and apparently doesn't check fb, ever.) rubs your belly.

I don't how felt worse when I told her...

Lilypie - (5WpR)
Me(26)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & Incompetent Cervix  DH(28)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- (Lupron protocol) 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
IVF ICSI #2-  (Antagonist protocol) Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
<312/9 Joshua David and Zoe Faith born too early at 19w4d due to incompetent cervix <3
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - 4/15/13 only possibility of carrying my children to term 
IVF#3 - June 2013 -  canceled.
IVF ICSI #3.2- (Antagonist Protocol) 7/26 start stims (same day, a year later from J & Z's stim start date!)
 ER 8/7 19R 9F 3dt of 2- 8BF embryos. (+HPT 7dp3dt) Beta #1 - 82.8 Beta #2 - 821 Beta #3 - 7254
9/11/13 - U/S shows 1 baby HR 135bpm! EDD: 4/30/13
It's a BOY!!
2/9/14 - DX Gestational Diabetes
C-section scheduled for 4/7/14 (36w5d)
Colin Joseph - 1:07pm 6lbs 14oz - 8 days in the NICU
Everyone Welcome!

Re: That awkward moment...

  • ((Hugs))

    That must have been very upsetting (and awkward). I had my first run in with someone I haven't seen in a while yesterday but I quickly got away to avoid any baby conversations.

    As painful as situations like that are, I feel like it helps the grieving process. Maybe that's just me, but I think it forces something out of you that turns out to be therapeutic.


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I had a similar encounter about a month ago.  A friend of my DH asked where my two-month old was.  It had been such a long time since I had to explain, I lost it.

    Unfortunately, being women with a later loss, it's something we have to deal with.  Our losses are more public than women who hadn't told anyone yet.  It can be difficult to have to re-live everything, but we also get the advantage of having a larger support system during this difficult time.

    I'm sorry you're having a bad day.  Big ((hugs)) 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
    BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
    BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
    Dx: Incompotent Cervix

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • imagestarburst0928:
    HugsAs painful as situations like that are, I feel like it helps the grieving process. Maybe that's just me, but I think it forces something out of you that turns out to be therapeutic. nbsp;

    I totally agree with this. Those first encounters where people ask where the baby is, or how's the baby, are so gd hard. But after you get past it, it's over and you don't have to worry about running into them. It's out in the open.
    It sucks every time you have to tell someone, but over time it does get easier and you might not cry every time.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
  • I'm so sorry you had a moment like that.  Sometimes I get so mad when situations like that could they possibly say something like that?  But they don't know any different, and really just mean to be friendly.  I went to the dentist just a few weeks after Isaac passed away, and the lady cleaning my teeth said, "You have a little one at home, don't you?!"  She sounded so excited...and obviously anyone would ask that question if they knew I had been pregnant, who doesn't love to talk about babies?  Why would she think anything went wrong?  But I had to explain to her what happend.  She was very sympathetic.  I agree with the others--sometimes it helps to explain outloud what happened; it somewhat helps with the grieving process. 
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