If you have a combat vet husband, come in... — The Bump
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If you have a combat vet husband, come in...

Hi ladies, My DH was HD for the Army in May, he served two tours in Baghdad, Iraq. Since he has been home he has struggled with PTSD and alcohol abuse.

He went into the ROVER program in August and it appeared that he'd done 180, until about a month after the program he started back with the alcohol and it has gotten progressively worse.

He isn't working and has been watching our DD, which is hard for a mother, but especially a father. I'm wondering if any of you out there have gone through a similar struggle. If so, was there something that helped? DH doesn't want to go to AA meetings, so I'm kind of at a loss for what to try now. TIA

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Re: If you have a combat vet husband, come in...

  • DH hasn't had issues, but I just want to say I'm sending T&Ps your way.

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  • imageladybugpjb:

    DH hasn't had issues, but I just want to say I'm sending T&Ps your way.

    Thank you so much. I think you're on my BMB too. :) 

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  • imageSLSeibert1:

    Hi ladies, My DH was HD for the Army in May, he served two tours in Baghdad, Iraq. Since he has been home he has struggled with PTSD and alcohol abuse.

    He went into the ROVER program in August and it appeared that he'd done 180, until about a month after the program he started back with the alcohol and it has gotten progressively worse.

    He isn't working and has been watching our DD, which is hard for a mother, but especially a father. I'm wondering if any of you out there have gone through a similar struggle. If so, was there something that helped? DH doesn't want to go to AA meetings, so I'm kind of at a loss for what to try now. TIA

    He may not want to go too aa for his alcohol issues, but is he being treated for his PTSD? I've found that a combination of counseling and or medication works wonders.  

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

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  • imageSLSeibert1:
    imageladybugpjb:

    DH hasn't had issues, but I just want to say I'm sending T&Ps your way.

    Thank you so much. I think you're on my BMB too. :) 

    Yep - I recognized your SN from there and Crafty Moms, I think. I don't think I knew you were a military family, though.

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  • We having issues with PTSD as well.  He does not have drinking issues but really bad depression and just wants to be alone.  We found that at the VA they have a few programs for group theapory and a studys they are doing.  We are trying these out.  One of them is so simple he just signs onto the computer they ask a question once a week and he writes his responds.  So he can do this from home.  He only had to go into the VA to sign up.  

    I wish you the best.  This is an upward battle but dont give up.   

    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
  • Call military once source. They can put you in touch with a counselor not only for YH but yourself as well. He can even do counseling online with them. Do not let him make excuses, he needs help and that is all there is to it.

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  • image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    imageSLSeibert1:

    Hi ladies, My DH was HD for the Army in May, he served two tours in Baghdad, Iraq. Since he has been home he has struggled with PTSD and alcohol abuse.

    He went into the ROVER program in August and it appeared that he'd done 180, until about a month after the program he started back with the alcohol and it has gotten progressively worse.

    He isn't working and has been watching our DD, which is hard for a mother, but especially a father. I'm wondering if any of you out there have gone through a similar struggle. If so, was there something that helped? DH doesn't want to go to AA meetings, so I'm kind of at a loss for what to try now. TIA

    He may not want to go too aa for his alcohol issues, but is he being treated for his PTSD? I've found that a combination of counseling and or medication works wonders.  

    He is being treated for his PTSD, however he is now going off of his meds because "he doesn't want to take medication" despite his therapists recommendation. His counselor is wonderful, but he isn't taking her suggestions to heart. : / 

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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Call military once source. They can put you in touch with a counselor not only for YH but yourself as well. He can even do counseling online with them. Do not let him make excuses, he needs help and that is all there is to it.

    Thanks BLT :). We just started seeing a family therapist at the VA and we like him, we go to that on a weekly basis and he sees his therapist on a weekly basis as well. Sometimes I will go with him to his therapy appointment when it has been an especially bad week, she gives him great suggestions to help distract him from the intrusive thoughts/cravings, but he's made no effort to try any of them. 

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  • imagekrissywave:

    We having issues with PTSD as well.  He does not have drinking issues but really bad depression and just wants to be alone.  We found that at the VA they have a few programs for group theapory and a studys they are doing.  We are trying these out.  One of them is so simple he just signs onto the computer they ask a question once a week and he writes his responds.  So he can do this from home.  He only had to go into the VA to sign up.  

    I wish you the best.  This is an upward battle but dont give up.   

    Thanks so much. :) 

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  • Is he connecting to the therapist? She might seem great to you but not be a good fit for him. My DH had some massive anxiety issues after returning from deployment and you might laugh but doing a regular weekly yoga class and cycling (his sport of choice) had a huge positive impact. The yoga helped settle his mind and cycling helped him feel empowered by achieving fitness goals. It sounds hokey but excercise can be a great complimentary therapy to mental health services, you just need to find something that's right for him. Also, sounds like he's self medicating so if you get the PTSD in check the drinking may diminish. Good luck!
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  • imageSLSeibert1:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Call military once source. They can put you in touch with a counselor not only for YH but yourself as well. He can even do counseling online with them. Do not let him make excuses, he needs help and that is all there is to it.

    Thanks BLT :). We just started seeing a family therapist at the VA and we like him, we go to that on a weekly basis and he sees his therapist on a weekly basis as well. Sometimes I will go with him to his therapy appointment when it has been an especially bad week, she gives him great suggestions to help distract him from the intrusive thoughts/cravings, but he's made no effort to try any of them. 

    I suggest looking for a group session with other vets.  I have a friend who is currently working on a degree in psychology so he can work with other vets who have PTSD.  He found that seeing a counselor who had not been in combat and had no idea what he has been through only made him angry and frustrated.  He felt like that person had no right to tell him what he should do to help himself if he had never been through it.  He's working to be able to help others.  In the mean time, he's found a group that gets together once a week.  Sometimes, they talk about their issues.  Other times, they just talk about life, go fishing or what ever.  He says he feels normal when he is with those guys and has started to feel normal at home now.  Maybe a group of other vets would help your husband.   

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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Call military once source. They can put you in touch with a counselor not only for YH but yourself as well. He can even do counseling online with them. Do not let him make excuses, he needs help and that is all there is to it.

     This. 

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